Selection Of Sir Leftski’s Tweets And Summaries Of Articles, 12th-25th May

Hello, friends.

And what a great week it’s been for those of us on the Progressive Left, who are now firm believers in law and order – always provided, of course, that it’s Our Law and Our Order!

Our Police are – despite Far-Right Tory Austerity, which has led to cuts in essential police equipment, e.g. nail varnish –  doing a first-class job in rounding up and arresting political dissidents Far-Right elements, e.g. the literally Fascist Tommy Robinson, who is quite definitely guilty of whatever it is that he hasn’t been charged with. Thank goodness he is now in prison, where he will no longer be able to complain about Our Grooming Gangs, which are the envy of the world attack Our Vulnerable Minorities.

Hate speech, friends!

After all, friends, so-called ‘free speech’ is all very well and good, but not when it becomes Hate Speech, i.e. speech that those of us on the Progressive Left hate, which these days is practically everything. So let us banish it forever, as part of Our Kinder And Gentler Totalitarian Tolerant Society, which Thatcher first denied the existence of, and then totally destroyed, e.g. Our Coal Mines, which alas can now never be reopened, due to all the dangerous Climate Change they would cause.

Anyway, that’s enough of my usual shrewd, in-depth analysis [Ha! – J.C.  Shush, Jeremy! – L.] of the latest political arrests developments. Here’s my latest selection of tweets. As ever, my thanks to everyone whose tweets I’ve mentioned, and to all who’ve contributed to the threads, which can easily be viewed, by dint of clicking on the tweet in question!

 

Saturday 12th May

Monday 21st May

Tuesday 22nd May

Wednesday 23rd May

Thursday 24th May

Friday 25th May

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Dad’s Army: The Deadly EU Attachment

[Originally posted in Going Postal, 17 June 2016.]

 

The church hall in Walmington-on-Sea, where the Home Guard have assembled …

CAPTAIN MAINWARING: Now pay attention, men, as I have an important announcement to make.  A Referendum is going to be held in just a few days’ time, on the important matter of whether Britain should remain in, or leave, the European Union, or “EU” as it is more commonly called.  And, naturally, I have given this matter a lot of careful consideration before deciding that, on balance, it is in Britain’s best interests to vote Remain.

SERGEANT WILSON: Do you think that’s altogether wise, sir?

MAINWARING (impatiently): Oh Wilson!  You really are a wet blanket at times!  How could it possibly not be the right thing, for Britain to work in partnership with our friends in a reformed Europe?

WILSON: Well, sir, judging from Mrs Merkel’s recent antics, and indeed some of the threatening noises emanating from various Brussels bureaucrats, I’m not at all sure that these people are our friends!  And as for a “reformed Europe”, well they’ve been talking about that ever since Britain joined, and the only reforms that have ever happened have involved Britain giving up more and more of its sovereignty to unelected foreigners …

PIKE: Mr Mainwaring, my Mum says we shouldn’t allow unelected foreigners, or any type of foreigner for that matter, to run this country! She also says that Mrs Merkel is an evil old witch – at least, I think that’s what the last word was.

WILSON (reproachfully): Frank, please …

MAINWARING (interrupting Wilson): Oh do be quiet, Pike!  What do you know about such important international matters, you stupid boy!

FRAZER: Aye, young Pike’s got a point, sir. I tell you, if Britain stays in that useless, corrupt, collapsing EU, we’re all DOOMED, I tell you!  DOOMED! DOOMED!  (Rolls eyeballs dramatically.)

MAINWARING: Frazer, will you kindly stop rolling your eyeballs in that silly way! Heavens, man, it reminds me of that ghastly female Labour MP – the one who can’t add up properly and thinks that fire puts out water!

WALKER: Mr. Mainwaring, talking of the EU, there’s a mate of mine who’s got a lot of, er, cheap Euros that he, er, stumbled on by, er, accident the other day. Fancy a few of them?  I can give you an absolutely bargain rate! Look, if you can manage cash, I can get you a hundred Euros for a hundred quid – can’t say fairer than that, can you?

MAINWARING: Really, Walker, I don’t want to know anything about your shady racketeering deals in some obscure, worthless foreign currency that no true Englishman would ever want to touch!

GODFREY: Oh, I do so agree with you, Mr. Mainwaring.  Some foreign ruffian offered my sister Dolly some of these so-called Euros in exchange for one of her delicious upside-down cakes at the village fête the other week!  Said he was an important official, name of Juncker I think, and threatened my sister with all kinds of reprisals if she didn’t accept the currency. (Shakes his head mournfully.)  I, I … don’t like that kind of thing at all.

JONES: Quite right, Mr. Godfrey!  We used to have a lot of trouble with foreign ruffians when we were in the Sudan!  Your sister Dolly should have done with that Junket man what we did with the fuzzy-wuzzies – shown them a flash of the old cold steel!  Those fuzzy-wuzzies don’t like it up ’em you know! (Excitedly) They do not like it up ’em!

MAINWARING (exasperatedly): I think, Jones, that once again you are entering in to the realms of fantasy. What I am trying to explain to you all is that…..

HODGES (bursts in): Oh, hullo Napoleon!  Just heard you’re supporting the EU!  (Guffaws loudly.)  Gor Blimey, I haven’t had such a ruddy great laugh for ages!  The first Napoleon didn’t do too well in trying to create a united Europe did he?  And now the EU Commission are trying to do the same thing as him, the ruddy hooligans!  Well, the way things are going, we’re all going to be voting Leave on 23rd June, and you, Napoleon, are finally going to meet your own personal Waterloo! Boom Boom!

MAINWARING (to Wilson): What does he know about the EU? The man’s a greengrocer! Get rid of him!

WILSON: Yes, he really is the most awfully uncouth fellow, isn’t he? (To Hodges): I say, Hodges, would you mind clearing orf, please?  (Hodges reluctantly does so.)

(To Mainwaring):  But you know, sir, even though Hodges is a simply ghastly man, he does have a point about the EU.  It is an awfully undemocratic organisation, you see, and if we vote to Remain on the 23rd, we will soon find ourselves completely over-run by all kinds of simply dreadful foreign people.  And I doubt whether you, sir, would be able to remain in your current position …

MAINWARING (sharply): What on earth do you mean by that, Wilson?

WILSON: Well, sir, surely you know that the EU wants to set up an EU Army of its own. And to be quite honest, sir, I’m not at all sure that they will (chuckles softly), well, er, require your services in those circumstances.

JONES: Permission to speak, Mr Mainwaring!  If the vote is for Remain, there’ll be an EU Army before you know it, and you’ll be the first for the chop! But don’t panic, Mr Mainwaring!  (Getting more and more agitated.)   DON’T PANIC!  DON’T PANIC!  DON’T PAN …

MAINWARING: Oh, do be quiet, Jones, and don’t be so ridiculous!  I’m not going to be rattled by a rabble of third-rate tuppenny-halfpenny foreigners, even if they call themselves an EU Army!  Most of them probably can’t even speak English properly, let alone wage war, unlike this platoon, which under my leadership is being turned in to a lean, ruthless, well-oiled fighting machine!

FRAZER:  Captain Mainwaring, Jonesey has a point!  If we vote Remain on the 23rd, your career as Captain of this platoon will be FINISHED!  FINISHED, I tell you!

GODFREY: Oh, that would be simply awful, Mr. Frazer!  Personally, I think that Captain Mainwaring has done a splendid job of leading this platoon, and I shall always remain loyal to him, whichever way the vote goes on 23rd June.

PIKE: Me too, Mr. Godfrey, even though he does sometimes call me a stupid boy, and my Mum was ever so annoyed with him the other day for not allowing me to wear my scarf on parade, even though it wasn’t half cold and I have a very sensitive chest …

MAINWARING: Thank you, Godfrey, and Pike. Well, men, I’m glad to see that you have all now realised that staying in the EU would be an utter catastrophe for me, er, this platoon, and indeed for our country generally.  I did wonder (embarrassed little laugh) which of you would be first to spot this particular point!

FRAZER:  Aye, Captain Mainwaring, and let me be the first to congratulate you on your principled stand against the undemocratic EU!  I never doubted you for a single minute, sir!  And I’m right behind you!

Selection Of Sir Leftski’s Tweets And Summaries Of Articles, 5th-11th May

Hello, friends.

And what a week it’s been for those of us on the Progressive Left eh, friends! Following last week’s – literally – stunning local elections, in which Labour managed to hold on to quite a few seats, this week has seen our new ally, Our House Of Lords – which, after all, is only doing the job it was unelected to do – sabotage make some important amendments to Brexit!

All that’s necessary now is for Labour to back Our Customs Union and Our Single Market in the House of Commons … and, with a passionate, life-long Remainer like Jeremy [Ha! – J.C. Oh Jeremy! I know you opposed Our EEC/EU for a few decades, but that was – literally – just a moment of madness! – L. No comment! – J.C.] leading Labour, what could possibly go wrong? [Rather a lot, as it happens, Lefty! – J.C. What on earth do you mean by that, Jeremy? – L. No comment! – J.C.]

Anyway, enough of my usual shrewd, in-depth analysis [Ha! – J.C.] of the current political scene. Here’s my latest selection of tweets. As ever, my thanks to everyone whose tweets I’ve mentioned, and to all who’ve contributed to the threads, which can easily be viewed, by dint of clicking on the tweet in question!

 

Saturday 5th May

Sunday 6th May

Monday 7th May

Tuesday 8th May

Wednesday 9th May

Thursday 10th May

Friday 11th May

Selection Of Sir Leftski’s Tweets And Summaries Of Articles, 29th April-5th May

Hello, friends.

And I expect you’re all as happy as I am about Labour’s amazingly triumphant triumph in Our Local Elections, aren’t you, friends? Talk about getting Our Vote Out, and smashing the totally unelected May back on her Far-Right kitten heels!

Disturbed, friends!

But I am extremely disturbed [You said it, Lefty! – J.C. Oh Jeremy! Of course I said it! This is my Hard-Right Blog, after all! – L.] to hear that, due to this heartless Far-Right Tory Government’s vicious requirement for people to reveal highly personal details – e.g. who they are, and indeed proof that they actually exist  – several billion Labour voters were prevented from voting more than once! Even worse, quite a few weren’t even allowed to vote at all! 

As a result – to give just one particularly egregious example – turnout in Our Tower Hamlets was slashed to below 110%! Talk about a searing indictment of the vicious iniquities of the Far-Right neoliberal paradigm which is now collapsing under the weight of its own inherently racist contradictions, e.g. Our Grenfell Tower!

Anyway, here’s my latest selection of tweets. As ever, my thanks to everyone whose tweets I’ve mentioned, and to all who’ve contributed to the threads, which can easily be viewed, by dint of clicking on the tweet in question!

 

Sunday 29th April

Monday 30th April

Tuesday 1st May

Wednesday 2nd May

Thursday 3rd May

Friday 4th May

Saturday 5th May

Selection Of Sir Leftski’s Tweets And Summaries Of Articles, 21st-29th April

Hello, friends.

And I expect you’re all as angry as I am about the allegations in the Far-Right Sunday Times today that Russian interference was the reason why Labour – literally – won last June’s General Election, aren’t you, friends?

Labour didn’t actually win the election at all for that reason, friends! It was because Jeremy appealed to people’s desire for free stuff social justice and their envy of people who were better-off than themselves natural idealism! That is surely obvious to even the meanest intelligence, i.e. me!

Anyway, that’s enough of my in-depth psephological analysis [Ha! – J.C. Shush, Jeremy! – L.] of why Labour won Our June Election. Here’s my latest selection of tweets. As ever, my thanks to everyone whose tweets I’ve mentioned, and to all who’ve contributed to the threads, which can easily be viewed, by dint of clicking on the tweet in question!

 

Saturday 21st April

Monday 23rd April

Tuesday 24th April

Wednesday 25th April

Thursday 26th April

Friday 27th April

Saturday 28th April

Sunday 29th April

Selection Of Sir Leftski’s Tweets And Summaries Of Articles, 14th-20th April

Hello, friends.

And I expect you’re all as happy as I am that Our House of Lords has voted in favour of Our Customs Union, aren’t you, friends?

Cambridge Analytica, friends!

Far-Right Leavers – e.g. Kate Hoey – are now predictably claiming that Our House of Lords ‘isn’t democratically elected’, which is just another LIE being peddled by the Hard-Right Cambridge Analytica, which Our Codswallop [Who the hell is that, Lefty? – J.C. Oh Jeremy! Everyone knows about Our Codswallop! She’s the courageous investigative journalist who’s proved that the Leave Campaign was run by – literally – Hitler! Surely you, as a passionate life-long Remainer, know about this? – L. No comment! – J.C.] has conclusively proved did whatever it was that she said it did. And in any case, Our House of Lords is no more ‘undemocratic’ than Our EU is.

Anyway, that’s enough of my in-depth analysis [Ha! – J.C. Shush, Jeremy! – L.] of the latest turning point in Our Great Fight Against Brexit. Here’s my latest selection of tweets. As ever, my thanks to everyone whose tweets I’ve mentioned, and to all who’ve contributed to the threads, which can easily be viewed, by dint of clicking on the tweet in question!

 

Saturday 14th April

Sunday 15th April

Monday 16th April

Tuesday 17th April

Wednesday 18th April

Thursday 19th April

Friday April 20th

Selection Of Sir Leftski’s Tweets And Summaries Of Articles, 7th-13th April

Hello, friends.

And I expect you’re all as shocked as I am that the Far-Right BBC Radio 4 is planning to broadcast a programme tonight on the hated Enoch Powell’s ‘Rivers of Blood’ speech – a phrase that was so utterly vile, not even Powell dared to actually use it anywhere in his speech!

A Hard-Right actor – *not* one of Our Celebrities, of course – will be reading out the entire speech, which is surely one of the worst Hate Speeches in history, the hate-filled hatred of which is – literally – hateful!

The Fascist Powell claimed that Our Mass Immigration might cause problems, e.g. violence and a lack of integration! Ridiculous! As we all know, no such problems have ever occurred, and in any case they are all caused by Tory Austerity, e.g. cuts to Our Police, who in any case are institutionally racist, as conclusively proved by Our MacPherson Report in 1999.

I do trust, friends, that you will not listen to this Hate Broadcast, which is on Radio 4 tonight from 8-9pm.

Anyway, here’s my latest selection of tweets. As ever, my thanks to everyone whose tweets I’ve mentioned, and to all who’ve contributed to the threads, which can easily be viewed, by dint of clicking on the tweet in question!

 

Saturday 7th April

Sunday 8th April

Monday 9th April

Tuesday 10th April

Wednesday 11th April

Thursday 12th April

Friday 13th April

Selection Of Sir Leftski’s Tweets And Summaries Of Articles, 31st March-6th April

Hello, friends.

And I expect you’re all as shocked as I am that a highly dangerous 78-year-old man has been allowed to – literally – get away with murder, aren’t you? 

What sort of so-called world are we living in, when a respected member of Our Burgling Community, who was widely-loved by himself, cannot be allowed to go about his unlawful business without being viciously attacked? Hopefully, when Labour come to power – which, as I shrewdly predicted this time last year, will be by next Winterval – they will introduce legislation to protect Our Burglars from this sort of vicious attack, as well as extending Our Hate Speech Laws to protect them from Burglarophobic Hate Speech.

Anyway, here’s my latest selection of tweets. As ever, my thanks to everyone whose tweets I’ve mentioned, and to all who’ve contributed to the threads, which can easily be viewed, by dint of clicking on the tweet in question!

 

Saturday 31st March

Sunday 1st April

Monday 2nd April

Tuesday 3rd April

Wednesday 4th April

Thursday 5th April

Friday 6th April

Selection Of Sir Leftski’s Tweets And Summaries Of Articles, 24th-30th March

Hello, friends.

And I expect you’re all as shocked and horrified as I am by the Far-Right Lord Sugar’s vicious and sickening Hate Tweet attacking Jeremy, aren’t you, friends? Just in case you’ve missed it, I shall reproduce it here, so that you can have a chance to be as outraged and disgusted as me:

[EDIT: Lord Sugar’s tweet has now been removed. My thanks to @British_Ideas, whose tweet, which shows the picture that Lord Sugar’s tweet used, I’m reproducing instead.]

Please, friends, do not give any publicity to this tweet by reproducing it anywhere else, or by mentioning it to anyone. Thanks!

Anyway, here’s my latest selection of tweets. As ever, my thanks to everyone whose tweets I’ve mentioned, and to all who’ve contributed to the threads, which can easily be viewed, by dint of clicking on the tweet in question!

 

Saturday 24th March

Sunday 25th March

Monday 26th March

Tuesday 27th March

Wednesday 28th March

Thursday 29th March

Friday 30th March

Selection Of Sir Leftski’s Tweets And Summaries Of Articles, 17th-23rd March

Hello, friends.

And I expect that you’re all as angry as I am about the Far-Right LIES regarding Jeremy’s post on Facebook in support of Our Antisemitic Mural, aren’t you, friends?

First of all, Jeremy’s comment was made in the distant past – i.e. 2012 – when he wasn’t Leader of the Opposition which was a totally different paradigm. (Like Our Diane’s hairstyle, Jeremy has – literally – moved on, friends!)

And secondly, as Jeremy has pointed out, he didn’t actually look at Our Antisemitic Mural before writing his post. Which is fair enough, surely? What sort of so-called world are we living in when people can be condemned simply for writing comments in support of things they know nothing about? Indeed, where would Jeremy – literally – be today if he wasn’t allowed to comment upon anything that he knew nothing about? Up the Far-Right creek without even a red herring to hold on to, that’s where!

Anyway, enough of all this detailed refutation [Ha! – J.C.] of the latest attempt by the Far-Right Media  – e.g. Our BBC – to smear Jeremy by quoting things he’s said in the past. Here’s my latest selection of tweets. As ever, my thanks to everyone whose tweets I’ve mentioned, and to all who’ve contributed to the threads, which can easily be viewed, by dint of clicking on the tweet in question!

 

Saturday 17th March

Sunday 18th March

Monday 19th March

Tuesday 20th March

Wednesday 21st March

Thursday 22nd March

Friday 23rd March