Hello, friends, and I’m sure you are all looking forward to tomorrow as much as I am! Yes – just in case there are any Far Right Trolls here who are not aware about such things – tomorrow marks 6 months since Our Jeremy was elevated to the position he holds today! And in that short period, as I’m sure you are all aware, he has totally transformed the Labour Party’s electoral prospects!
But friends, there is a cloud on the horizon – and this particular cloud does not have a silver lining! It comes in the shape of a Trojan Horse, inside of which is a veritable Pandora’s Box, which if opened will unleash several cans of worms that, if unchecked, will totally sink the Good Ship Labour, and all who sail inside her, including Yours Truly!
I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about, friends – or, should I say, who I am talking about! And although this Blog does not as a rule descend to talking about personalities – such trivia is for the birds in the bush – there is one particular so-called personality who is giving Jeremy and me a not-inconsiderable headache at this particular moment in time!
So, without further ado, let me spell his name out in black and white, thereby revealing this man’s true colours, as a total snake in the grass and a Red Tory Treacherous one at that, quite frankly!
Step forward, Mr. Daniel Owen Woolgar Jarvis, MP, MBE. Notice the “MBE”, friends! “Dan”, as he likes to call himself, is a Member of the British Empire – that notoriously outdated racist and imperialist paradigm that has now, thankfully, been consigned to the dustbin of history where it belongs, and is now kicking up the daisies in the long grass, thank goodness!
“Dan” – who, by the way, certainly is not and never will be “Our Dan”, unlike Our Jeremy! – prides himself in having served in Britain’s totally shameful and provocative war-mongering so-called Armed Forces, where he fought against our friends in the Taliban in Afghanistan, against our friends in the Ba’ath Party in the totally illegal Iraq War, and – perhaps most disgraceful of all – against our friends in the IRA in that totally outdated relic of late British Imperialism, the totally illegitimate so-called Northern Ireland Fascist State!
And, unbelievably, friends, this sociopathic war-mongerer is now touting himself around to all who will listen – which certainly does not include Jeremy and me – as the next Labour Leader! He even made a so-called “speech” yesterday, reproduced in the sickeningly neoliberal Labour List, which was widely derided by every heavyweight objective commentator in the land worth listening to, i.e. Jeremy and myself.
Friends, this is rank treachery! But, as we all know, there is many a slip when shooting from the lip – and Dan has shot himself in both feet with both ends of a smoking gun here! His attempt to topple Jeremy by means of a totally undemocratic coup d’état has ended up as a wild goose chase which has truly set the cat among the pigeons, upsetting the apple cart and spilling the milk all over the kitchen! The result being that Dan is now a dead man walking on the water, which even Our Jeremy – our modern-day JC! – cannot turn in to wine! Which just goes to show that, if you jump from the frying pan in to the fire, all you end up doing is burning your fingers, as well as muddying the waters when the tide is on the turn!
Jeremy, by contrast, knows that actions speak a lot louder than words, and that silence is golden, especially when one is trying to change horses in the middle of the road, at which point there is a not-inconsiderable danger of being run down by both sides!
Strong Message Here
In conclusion, friends, now that Dan is, sadly, a totally discredited and broken figure, with his hoped-for political career now lying, tragically, in utter ruins, we should extend some compassion to him as we democratically deselect him and then forget him totally.
Let us now end, like Dan’s leadership hopes, with that uplifting chorus from my totally updated version of that musical and lyrical masterpiece, the Red Flag. All together now, friends: