Desperate Dan Totally Defeated By Jeremy’s Great Courage and Skill!

Hello, friends, and I’m sure you are all looking forward to tomorrow as much as I am! Yes – just in case there are any Far Right Trolls here who are not aware about such things – tomorrow marks 6 months since Our Jeremy was elevated to the position he holds today!  And in that short period, as I’m sure you are all aware, he has totally transformed the Labour Party’s electoral prospects!

Totally ridiculous

But friends, there is a cloud on the horizon – and this particular cloud does not have a silver lining!  It comes in the shape of a Trojan Horse, inside of which is a veritable Pandora’s Box, which if opened will unleash several cans of worms that, if unchecked, will totally sink the Good Ship Labour, and all who sail inside her, including Yours Truly!

I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about, friends – or, should I say, who I am talking about!  And although this Blog does not as a rule descend to talking about personalities – such trivia is for the birds in the bush – there is one particular so-called personality who is giving Jeremy and me a not-inconsiderable headache at this particular moment in time!

So, without further ado, let me spell his name out in black and white, thereby revealing this man’s true colours, as a total snake in the grass and a Red Tory Treacherous one at that, quite frankly!

Step forward, Mr. Daniel Owen Woolgar Jarvis, MP, MBE.  Notice the “MBE”, friends!  “Dan”, as he likes to call himself, is a Member of the British Empire – that notoriously outdated racist and imperialist paradigm that has now, thankfully, been consigned to the dustbin of history where it belongs, and is now kicking up the daisies in the long grass, thank goodness!

Palpable nonsense

“Dan” – who, by the way, certainly is not and never will be “Our Dan”, unlike Our Jeremy! – prides himself in having served in Britain’s totally shameful and provocative war-mongering so-called Armed Forces, where he fought against our friends in the Taliban in Afghanistan, against our friends in the Ba’ath Party in the totally illegal Iraq War, and – perhaps most disgraceful of all – against our friends in the IRA in that totally outdated relic of late British Imperialism, the totally illegitimate so-called Northern Ireland Fascist State!

And, unbelievably, friends, this sociopathic war-mongerer is now touting himself around to all who will listen – which certainly does not include Jeremy and me – as the next Labour Leader!  He even made a so-called “speech” yesterday, reproduced in the sickeningly neoliberal Labour List, which was widely derided by every heavyweight objective commentator in the land worth listening to, i.e. Jeremy and myself.


Friends, this is rank treachery!  But, as we all know, there is many a slip when shooting from the lip – and Dan has shot himself in both feet with both ends of a smoking gun here!  His attempt to topple Jeremy by means of a totally undemocratic coup d’état has ended up as a wild goose chase which has truly set the cat among the pigeons, upsetting the apple cart and spilling the milk all over the kitchen!  The result being that Dan is now a dead man walking on the water, which even Our Jeremy – our modern-day JC! – cannot turn in to wine!  Which just goes to show that, if you jump from the frying pan in to the fire, all you end up doing is burning your fingers, as well as muddying the waters when the tide is on the turn!

Jeremy, by contrast, knows that actions speak a lot louder than words, and that silence is golden, especially when one is trying to change horses in the middle of the road, at which point there is a not-inconsiderable danger of being run down by both sides!

Strong Message Here

In conclusion, friends, now that Dan is, sadly, a totally discredited and broken figure, with his hoped-for political career now lying, tragically, in utter ruins, we should extend some compassion to him as we democratically deselect him and then forget him totally.

Let us now end, like Dan’s leadership hopes, with that uplifting chorus from my totally updated version of that musical and lyrical masterpiece, the Red Flag. All together now, friends:

So raise the scarlet standard high, whilst supporting Our Jeremy all the time,
Beneath its shade we’ll live and die, and win a 2020 Election landslide,
Though the Banksters and the 1% flinch, and Red Tory traitors predictably sneer,
We’ll totally smash the evil Tory scum, and keep the Red Flag flying here!



14 thoughts on “Desperate Dan Totally Defeated By Jeremy’s Great Courage and Skill!

  1. Spot on with your summation of this Red Tory turncoat.
    But, be warned, you must maintain your vigilance, no sooner has one worm emerged from a bad apple than another slug will appear in the garden determined to lay waste to all the good work carried out by you and Jeremy to date.
    As I’ve said before, keep the old (red) flag flying.
    I may not always be with you in body but always there in spirit.


    1. Thank you, friend. Your warnings are, as ever, straight to the point and right between the eyes. We must grasp the nettle, grab the bull by the horns and bend over backwards, all the while keeping our best feet forward, and Fight, Fight and Fight again to save the Jeremy we love.


  2. Another left wing blog, all we get is windage and farts about anything including loud music, can’t you be like everybody else and take up fishing instead of winging on and on an on about nothing,


      1. Wouldn’t it be a good idea to buy a couple of statues of our Jezz and Johnny boy and you would be able to pray to the every day, thanking them for giving you a direction to go in, by 2020 our Jezz will be forgotten and you will have found another idol to pray to, by golly we have some loons about.


  3. Our Jeremy will never be forgotten, friend, let alone by 2020! But he is not going to make the same mistake as the hated Thatcher, who clung on to office despite woeful poll ratings. No, Jeremy will step down voluntarily in 2035, after 15 years of being Prime Minister, by which time our good friend Gerry Downing will, we firmly believe, be in pole position to succeed him.


      1. Jeremy is more than a man, like the Beatles, he will live forever as a political phenonemum, nobody will forget him.


  4. I think the Jarvis Nazi is suffering from PTSD, he still thinks he is in Afghanistan, and just because Jeremy, Sadiq, John and Seamus are friends with the very same people who tried to kill him, quite rightly, obviously!,,, he now wants to carry on with his neo imperialist war and kill them.

    The Jarvis Nazi is dangerous, he needs to be locked up and treated for his dangerous views.


  5. As a true supporter of Jeremy I will think nothing of slagging off the evil Tories as ‘career politicians’, whilst supporting a career politician Labour leader against some upstart former soldier who only became an MP a few years ago!

    Long may Jeremy continue as leader!

    (And when he eventually passes on, are we definitely putting his immortal remains on display in glass case in Islington town hall like I heard suggested at a branch meeting the other day?)


  6. “… which point there is a not-inconsiderable danger of being run down by both sides!”

    Comrades! Surely you can see that this is all a trick and the poster of this article is a terrible fascist Zionist reactionary millionaire agent-provocateur T… T… (I can barely spit out the filthy swear word) TORY!

    For who was it that coined the phrase “not inconsiderable”? Who was it who popularised it? Who could not just use the word “considerable”? Who had a biography written about him called “Not Inconsiderable”. Why, none other than the hard-right Thatcher-lickspittle Eton and Bullingdon boy TORY, Sir John Major!

    We have found you out, you snake in the grass! Oh yes! Oh yes!


    1. Friend, or are you?! Mr Smith – I fear you got your knickers well and truly in a twist here, and there is a danger that, by nailing your trousers to this particular totem-pole, that you will end up in a cul-de-sac from which it will take a not inconsiderable amount of bad blood to be spilled, before you can extricate yourself from this particular swamp!

      I wunt to make it perfectly clear that I am not John Major! That would be ridiculous! I am not trying to Currie favours with anyone here by saying this, as my wife Norma is happy to confirm [Norma dear, if you happen to be reading this – those peas we had for supper tonight were very tasty! Thank you, dear!]. Should you, or anyone else, perpetuate this truly Lamontable smear, I shall be forced to defend my reputation, and you will forever remember this day as a Black Wednesday for you. Oh yes!


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