Hello, friends. And what truly excellent news that Our Jeremy is now surging in to the lead against the hated Tories, in the latest ICM Poll, which, totally predictably, has been given no coverage whatsoever in the Far Right Murdoch-controlled Monopoly Media, e.g. the BBC.
Even more predictably, if that’s possible – which it isn’t – the Hitler-supporting so-called Daily Mail is even trying to claim that it’s a “rogue” poll! Well, those Fascists know all about rogues, especially as they are Hard-Right rogues who, as I may have already mentioned, were supporters of Hitler until very recently, i.e. the 1930s! No wonder nobody reads that particular Far-Right rag any more, apart from a few million bigoted people who have been totally brainwashed by its predictable lies!
Here, totally uncensored, are the stunning results, which have totally stunned me, and I guess will be stunning all of you too, once you’ve absorbed their truly stunning message:
Our Labour: A full, joyful, triumphant, landslide-election-winning 36%!
The Widely-Hated Tories: A miserable, pathetic, derisory 36%!
The Evil Fascist Kippers: A truly derisory 11%!
LibDeadbeats: 8%. Say no more!
Our Friends In the Greens: A rather impressive 3%, which shows how our friends Caroline Lucas and Natalie Benefit speak for so many of us, when they talk about the urgent need to combat Person-Made Catastrophic Climate Chaos, e.g. by closing down the coal industry, which the hated Thatcher totally destroyed!
OK, OK – I know that one single good polling result doesn’t lead a horse to drink the water in midstream! It could, after all, merely be a red herring out of water, which has gone down the drain! And you shouldn’t count your chicken-feed until the cows have come home, and been put safely to bed behind the bolted stable door! Nevertheless, this truly stunning opinion poll is definitely a major tipping point, which has rightly put those of us on the Progressive Left on Cloud Nine, in Seventh Heaven and totally beside ourselves with joy! After all, friends, if we can just play our cards right, the Tories will find themselves well and truly snookered in May 2020, when the electorate will bring the curtains down on their particular Far-Right mess of pottage!
I’m sure you can all imagine Jeremy’s reaction when, last night, I brought him the great news about our massive poll lead! Never a man to overreact, even to news as totally joyful as this, he simply said, reflectively, whilst gently stroking his beard, “Well, Lefty, I guess that just about wraps things up. The 2020 election’s already in the bag!” And with that typically shrewd observation, he continued nonchalantly scraping the last few remaining baked beans out of the tin, which as you all know by now – if you’ve been paying attention! – is our favourite culinary staple.
Strong Message Here
Needless to say, but I’ll say it anyway, this amazing poll result shows that Labour is now well and truly back on the road to election victory! It is a long road, with many pot-holes – caused by Tory Cuts, of course – but at the end of that long, hard road, lies an electoral earthquake which will result in an election landslide that will make the sky fall in for the hated Tories!
Let us conclude, in joyful celebration of this major Electoral Breakthrough, with that uplifting chorus from my totally updated version of that musical and lyrical masterpiece, the Red Flag. All together now, friends: