Which, as I said to him only last night, shows how closely intertwined he is with the grassroots of This Great Movement Of Ours! Can you imagine Camoron, for instance, taking the time and trouble to write comments on a blog, even if it were one as influential and popular as this one? To ask the question is surely to answer it, quite frankly! Anyway, I’m hoping that Jeremy will continue to comment here on a regular basis, and indeed even when he becomes Prime Minister, which as all shrewd and totally objective heavyweight political commentators, i.e. myself, know is now just a matter of “if” rather than “when”!
Yesterday’s great Parliamentary Triumph for Jeremy at PMQs was just the icing on the biscuit, friends! Faced with Jeremy’s prolonged and totally devastating onslaught, i.e. that the heartless Tories had callously reneged on their promise to cut benefits, proving that they were utterly untrustworthy and unable to run a whelk stall at a vicarage tea party, Camoron woke up, smelled the coffee, over-egged the pudding and then, under Jeremy’s persistent questioning, totally crumbled, finally admitting that he was a member of Our Jeremy’s “Core Support Plus”! Jeremy’s performance was, as ever, his best since last week’s! He managed to PIP [A rather feeble pun, Lefty, don’t you think? J.C. No, I don’t, Jeremy! L.] Camoron to the post, making him totally lose his toe rag in the process, friends! No wonder the Tories are so terrified of him!
Friends, these are such exciting times for those of us on the Progressive Left! The Tories are literally falling apart, as they fight like cornered rats looking for a buried treasure in a burning haystack! Their whole so-called economic policy has been shown to be a house of cards hidden behind a smokescreen, which is sinking in to a quicksand of their own making, as all the inherent contradictions of late Fascist Neoliberalism become more and more obvious to everyone – or at least, to those of us who are not blinkered Right-wingers who’ve been brainwashed by the Far-Right Murdoch-controlled Monopoly Media, e.g. the BBC, whose anti-Socialist bias is increasingly obvious to all those who’ve got eyes with which to hear it!
But enough, friends, of what Jeremy correctly describes as “a lot of trivial tittle-tattle about so-called personalities”! We on the Left have better things to do with our time than to dwell on the fact that – to give just one example of their sheer wickedness – the Tories are a bunch of evil, nasty sociopaths who have presided over the wholesale destruction of Our NHS, which Thatcher totally destroyed, and which is the envy of the world and elsewhere.
No, let’s leave that sort of name-calling and ad hominem attacks to the Far Right, i.e. the totally sickening Hard-Right Red Tory Traitors who should quite frankly just shut up and join the Tories, quite frankly! Without naming any names – e.g. Angela Eagle, Hilary Benn, Mr so-called “Dan” so-called Jarvis, etc. – these people are quite frankly a thorn in the side of the elephant in the room, and should quite frankly be deListed [Groan! J.C.] before they can do any more damage to Party Unity, quite frankly! (Leave that to me.)
Let us instead, friends, rally round Jeremy now, putting our differences to one side, and not throwing the baby out of the kitchen sink without a paddle! We must pull our collective burned fingers out of the frying pan, quit the navel-gazing and make a clean breast of things to the electorate, because if we can promise them a fresh start and a new beginning, setting the record straight and letting sleeping dogs lie through their back teeth, they will soon be literally eating out of our hands – always provided, of course, we can appeal to them over the heads of the Far-Right Media, who as ever misrepresent Our Jeremy on a daily basis by quoting his speeches, many of which were made several years ago, and which in any case have been taken totally out of context.
Strong Message Here
Friends, we are now so close to the slippery slope leading to the Promised Land, I can practically smell the roses on the road to Damascus! The Tories are falling apart at the seams – no stitch in time will save them now! – and are on the run, and no amount of two-faced backtracking to the middle of the road will be enough to save their skins, as their bare-faced hypocrisy is increasingly exposed as the empty sham that it is!
Supreme Power is there for the taking – and, friends, under Jeremy’s inspired and charismatic Leadership, we will grab it with a velvet glove! Literally hundreds of billions of people are totally sick to death of the Tories and their tired, predictable sloganising and vapid cliches, and are now looking to us for a lead, and we will not – not ever, not in a million years – fail them!
Let us all now, as befits a Blog of this standard and quality, sing together, friends! I think you all know what! (Did I hear someone at the back call “What?” You are such a tease, Jeremy! No baked beans for you tonight, then! No, don’t worry, I’m only joking! As were you! You see – two of us can play at this game, Jeremy!)
Yes, those immortal words from my updated version of that stirring chorus of my favourite anthem, the Red Flag. (Diane – could you play the organ for this one, please? Thanks!) All together now, friends: