Jeremy’s Latest Triumph At PMQs – Full Report!

Hello, friends.

First of all, a confession!  [Oh dear – what have you done now, Lefty? – J.C.  If you’ll have just a little patience, Jeremy, I shall tell you! – L.]

Well, here’s the nub of the matter, which has caused me not a little embarrassment! I wrote my account of Jeremy’s latest amazing triumph in PMQs today (reproduced below) before discovering – no thanks to Jeremy, it must be said, who only told me after I’d spent a full five minutes writing it – that PMQs is not being held today! I guess it’s because Camoron can’t face yet another session of being literally torn to shreds by Jeremy’s forensic questioning, and I can’t say I blame him!  They say that “all bullies are cowards”, and Bullingdon Bully Boy Camoron has a yellow streak that’s as long as your arm and literally glows in the dark even if, like his “answers” at PMQs, it provides no illumination whatsoever by any manner of means, quite frankly!

Garbage

But, as you all know, friends, Jeremy and I are great believers in recycling absolutely everything, in our great quest to save this Earth of ours – it’s the only one we have, you know, friends, apart from all the others – and if by recycling this report of Jeremy’s latest Great Parliamentary Triumph we can cut our carbon emissions by even a few inches, then some good will have come out of this whole tawdry business, caused by, er, someone’s total incompetence.  [You having a go at me, Lefty? – J.C.  Oh Jeremy!  Don’t be so sensitive! This is me, your one and only Lefty – not Seumas! I don’t have “a go” at anyone, apart from the Far-Right Red Tory Traitors and various other troublemakers, e.g. this totally unelected Tory Government! – L.]

And then it occurred to me: if we can recycle this highly objective account of Jeremy’s triumph at PMQs, why stop at just the one time?  Age will never weary this report, nor the years condemn – and, in any case, it’s probably only a matter of weeks until Our Jeremy topples the hated Camoron, as the Tories literally fall apart over the European so-called Referendum which is purely a fig-leaf behind which there is absolutely no silver lining, and which in any case nobody wants, apart from the electorate, who needless to say have been totally brainwashed by the Far-Right Monopoly Media’s predictable lies!

Strong Message Here

So, friends, here it is: my All-Purpose “Jeremy’s Latest Triumph At PMQs” report, which you can simply bookmark and read every Wednesday afternoon, confident in the knowledge that it will tell you all you need to know about Jeremy’s latest Parliamentary Triumph!  No need to bother with watching the totally biased live screening of it on BBC2’s neoliberal Daily Politics, where the blatant misrepresentation of Jeremy’s sparkling performance is obvious even to the meanest intelligence, i.e. me, when they deliberately skew the coverage in such a way as to give the impression that all the Tory backbenchers are laughing at Our Jeremy, whereas in fact they are laughing at Camoron’s discomfort!

Are you sitting comfortably, friends?  [No!J.C.  Oh Jeremy, you are such a tease!L.] OK, then – here is my PMQs Report, available to you all free of charge (NB: donations – no matter how large – always welcome!):

JEREMY TRIUMPHS YET AGAIN AT TODAY’S PMQs!

Another sparkling performance by Our Jeremy! Wow, Camoron was really on the ropes and fit to be tied!  Jeremy fixed him with his firm stare and, with deceptive mildness, stated: “I have now asked the Prime Minister, at PMQs, a hundred odd questions. Grizelda of Coventry has written to me to ask ‘why has he totally failed to answer a single one of them?'”.

Camoron, as is his wont, immediately turned crimson red and put on his Flashman act, retorting feebly that “The Right Honourable Gentleman is very fond of asking questions! Well, anyone can just stand at the despatch box and ask questions, quite frankly!  A child of 11 could do that, quite frankly!  But it takes Brains to run a country like what I do! Which I’m sure Grizelda realises, even if the Right Honourable Gentleman doesn’t! No wonder his backbenchers want to send him to Coventry!” [Derisive laughter at Camoron’s expense.]

“I note”, Jeremy parried cunningly, “that the Prime Minister has now failed to answer the 105th question that I have asked him!  Very well, let me try for the 106th time! Will he confirm that, as Jim from Middlesborough has written to me, ‘This Government has not implemented so much as a single policy that was contained in the last Labour Manifesto. Doesn’t that show that this so-called Government cannot be trusted in any shape or form whatsoever, quite frankly?'”

This question really threw Camoron off his stride, friends!  He claimed, disingenuously, that “This Government was not elected in order to implement Labour Manifesto pledges – although, in fact, I’m pleased to say that, as part of our Long-Term Economic Plan, we have actually managed to spend a lot more than them, tax a lot more than them, and run up a much bigger National Debt than they ever did, the useless tossers!”

Do I really need to continue, friends?  [Please don’t, Lefty!J.C.]  Jeremy really had Camoron on the run, like a cornered fox that had run out of road and had nowhere to hide!  The hated Tories are now totally rattled, as the latest opinion polls show Labour’s lead stretching to as many as 2 percentage points!

***********************************

Let us sing in celebration, friends!

Friends, let us celebrate Jeremy’s latest Parliamentary triumph by – I think you can guess what’s coming! You know me so well! – singing together the chorus from our favourite anthem!  (Organ, please, Diane!)  All together now, friends:

So raise the scarlet standard high, whilst supporting Our Jeremy all the time,
Beneath its shade we’ll live and die, and win a 2020 Election landslide,
Though the Banksters and the 1% flinch, and Red Tory traitors predictably sneer,
We’ll totally smash the evil Tory scum, and keep the Red Flag flying here!

 

 

 

 

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14 thoughts on “Jeremy’s Latest Triumph At PMQs – Full Report!

  1. I think you need to up your medicines, do you go to your doctor on a regular basis and discuss your dreams with him or does LaLa land have that warm glow of a nice warm blanket wrapped around you on a very cold day.

    I now see why Labour and the left bring out the nutcases, today are you female or male, we need to know just for political correctness, wouldn’t want to upset you would we, Labour, the wrap around for all mental illnesses, it covers you and protects you and pretends to help you and the only thing it wants in return is your vote.

    Please expand your blog enterprise and maybe one day you and Our Jezz can stand side by side smiling at each other, him as PM and you in the latest style of straight jacket as Chancellor of the Exchequer, of course for the security of the country which Labour could not care about will not be put near you, just in case you sign a piece of paper and give the Britain to Zimbabwe of course all Rhodes statues will be removed

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Unlike our Prime Minister enjoying yet another holiday abroad, I have been standing shoulder-to-shoulder with our steelworkers whose jobs and communities are threatened with devastation due to this government’s monetarist policies.
    Under a Labour government Tata’s operations in the UK would be appropriated without compensation, and run under government control for as long as the Chinese continue to dump their steel at below cost price. Utility companies would be forced to sell energy at cost price to the steel industry to protect its long-term future.

    Labour cannot and will not, under my leadership, stand by idly and watch thousands of British workers lose their jobs.

    Like

    1. Well said, Jeremy. Nationalisation without compensation is plainly the way we need to go, if we are to achieve the levels of investment in British industry that we in the Labour Party desire.

      May I thank you, on behalf of all of those of us who write and read this blog, i.e. myself, for your excellent contributions here? I do hope that, when you become Prime Minister – which will surely be later rather than sooner – you will still have time to drop in here from time to time and cast your pearls of wisdom before the gathering storm in a teacup which the Far-Right Monopoly Media will doubtless be blowing up out of all proportion.

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    2. !983 I believe Corbyn became a Labour MP, 2015 Labour leader, children born when he became an MP are now about 32years old some with their own kids, wines have matured and are drinkable, Royal navy ships launched have now been scrapped and this desert flower a Corbyn has just bloomed, could it be someone is pulling his strings, could it be he’s like a fuse on a firework and has gone out or could it be a Labour joke, still the polls put him ahead of Cameron but Cameron being a traitor to the people of this country, it can be seen why Corbyn is ahead, sadly like Cameron, his change to Stay has now made him like Cameron unelectable,, his little trip to see the steel workers will remind him next year when Camerons EU regional authorities take over and leave MPs and their Leader with just their P45s, it’s at least something we can look forward to when we have the corrupted EU vote and we are forced to endure a thousand year reich

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  3. As a Young person myself, I believe that the Younger Generation are the future of this country, even the world, so I intend to vote for Jeremy, who will only be 71 by the time of the next election, and who understands the Youth of the world far better than the neo-liberal Nazis of the so-called Tory party. Your blog is an inspiration, please keep it up.

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  4. `Not unexpectedly we have received nothing but weasel words from our Prime Minister and Business Secretary, both of whom had to return from holiday to appear to be dealing with the catastrophe facing the nation’s steel industry from cheap Chinese imports.
    If Labour had been in power we would already be negotiating a swift handover of Tata’s steel plants to the British government at no cost to the taxpayer. This is the only way to safeguard thousands of jobs of those employed in the factories and those who depend on them.
    Under my leadership Labour will not allow a repeat of the devastation that was caused by Thatcher’s closing of the coal mines. British steel is vitally important to the British economy, and cheap foreign imports will not be allowed to wreck this.
    Labour will continue to call for a recall of Parliament and we will be asking the Prime Minister and the Business Secretary why they are voting against increasing European tariffs on Chinese steel. Once again this Tory government has been caught acting in the interests of foreign powers.
    Mr Cameron and Co will be called to account, of that you can be certain.

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    1. Thank you once again, Jeremy, for yet another truly percipient comment, which only Far-Right sociopaths and subversive n’er do wells in the pay of the Banksters and the 1% could possibly disagree with.

      Friend, there is just one point that some of my friends say disturb them – and with which I sympathise, as an extremely disturbed person myself – which is that under EU Rules, the very reasonable proposals you make for total nationalisation of the steel industry without compensation, would not be allowed.

      Obviously, friend, we cannot leave Europe, which would devastate our economy – which, needless to say, Thatcher and the current Government have totally destroyed – and lead to unemployment levels comparable to those in countries like Spain, Italy and Greece, who do not have the benefits of being in Europe that we have.

      So, Jeremy, friend … in the words of our good late friend and colleague Mr. Lenin, What Is To Be Done?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Desperate times call for desperate measures. We may not have a great deal of time to rescue these plants before Tata decide that they would be better served by closing them. This cannot be allowed to happen.
        There is no reason why the whole UK Tata steel business cannot be afforded the same ‘arm’s length’ status as Railtrack. We do not have the luxury of time to await potential buyers, whose sole aim may be to asset-strip the business and close it anyway.
        We can see this happening already in the School Academy programme which this Tory government is pressing on with despite objections from Local Authorities, parents and the schools themselves.

        At some date in the future the world price for steel will recover, and it would be short-sighted beyond belief to allow the industry to close down. Regrettably Tory industrial policies lead us to believe that Mr Cameron and Mr Javid would allow that very thing to happen.

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  5. What do you mean the nationalization would be at no cost to the taxpayer. They are losing GBP365 million a year. So even if you take it off their hands for free we lose GBP365 million a year, money which could be spent on the NHS or other things.
    Corbyn’s policies are stuck in 1983 – the year he became an MP.

    Like

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