Hello again, friends.
And first of all, an apology for the lack of Blogs recently, which was caused by understandable fears of Brexit which would, as we all know, lead to a complete collapse of Blogging on a worldwide basis, i.e. this Blog, as well as total withdrawal of EU
subsidies for investment in this independent Blog, which naturally ensures the sort of objective impartiality for which it is rightly renowned.
But enough about the utter disaster for this Blog and indeed the world (and elsewhere) that Brexit would represent. I shall, of course, be returning to that subject again before June 23rd. [Do you really have to, Lefty? – J.C. Honestly, Jeremy! I sometimes wonder about how committed you are to Our EU! – L. No comment! – J.C.]
Anyway, today, I’d like to extend a warm welcome to a small group of people who, so I’m told, read this Blog, and actually enjoy it. [That must be a very small group, Lefty! – J.C. Oi, Jeremy! Don’t forget the old Chinese proverb: he who wields the tin-opener determines who gets the baked beans for supper! – L.]
Now, if Jeremy will allow me to continue without further interruption [OK – you win, Boss! – J.C. Thanks, Jeremy! – L.], I shall explain further. There are, apparently, some Right-wingers for whom this Blog is “required reading” and who, furthermore, find it “quite amusing” – if, that is, the totally reliable and truthful reports I’ve been receiving about this can be relied upon for their veracity!
I must admit that it does rather puzzle me that there are any Right-wingers who’d want to read this blog, which as all regular readers know is totally dedicated to 100% (and that’s the absolute minimum!) support of Our Jeremy, and whose fervent belief in a Better Progressive Socialist Tomorrow is notoriously notorious!
Furthermore, I really cannot for the life of me understand why they should find this blog “amusing” in any shape or form whatsoever, quite frankly! After all, as we all know, Right-wingers have absolutely no sense of humour whatsoever, and it therefore puzzles me that any Right-winger could possibly appreciate a Blog that is full of subtlety, coruscating wit and well-reasoned arguments. [What blog are you talking about, Lefty? I must take a look at it! – J.C.]
Yes, we on the Progressive Left certainly do have a wonderful sense of humour, friends! I guess it’s matched only by our modesty! And with the literally endless list of targets that the Right provide us with, mocking them is as easy as shooting a red herring inside the thin end of an iceberg with both barrels of a smoking gun!
There are so many jokes we can and do make about the Right: the Banksters, the 1%, Thatcher, Neoliberalism, the Tories, Thatcher, their Fascism, their bigotry, the Tories, their hypocrisy, UKIP, Thatcher, the Tories, their narrow-mindedness, their blinkered attitudes, Thatcher, their imperviousness to the kind of logical, reasoned arguments provided in this Blog, Thatcher, the Tories, etc. etc. – the list is literally endless!
And, of course, there’s also the fact that the Right are unable to make any argument without descending to abuse and ad hominems! They really are a such a very nasty bunch of people, aren’t they, friends? Not surprising, when you consider what selfish, evil scum they are. Also, it really annoys me how they make sweeping, unsubstantiated generalisations about, well, you know, absolutely everything. And, of course, perhaps most egregious of all, their complete lack of self-awareness makes them look totally ridiculous.
But, of course, friends, this all plays in to our hands! And it also explains why we on the Left are never short of the sort of jokes that have, for instance, given Radio 4 comedy programmes the sort of reputation and global appeal that they have today! (That joke the other night about “what with that evil witch Thatcher and that mad cowboy Reagan practically starting World War III in the Eighties, it’s amazing that we’re still alive to tell the tale! Thank God they’re both dead, eh!” still has me in stitches!)
Strong Message Here
Needless to say, Left-wing comedy is also a profoundly radicalising and subversive force, and one which must surely explain at least in part the amount of electoral success that we on the Left have had in the UK over the past few years. So that’s another benefit for us all, friends!
Plus, friends, the fact that the Right are unable to appreciate the sheer dazzling wit of Left-wing comedians, only underlines their total lack of any sense of humour.
We, after all, can – and always do – laugh at them. Why can’t they do the same?
Good riddance, friends!
In conclusion, friends, if there are indeed any Far-Right infiltrators of this Blog, they are in no shape or form welcome here, quite frankly! We don’t need their Hard-Right, racist, Fascist neoliberalism here, friends! Why don’t they just go to a Far-Right publication, e.g. the Guardian, where they’d feel more at home? Let us, using the mass power of working people, i.e. myself, crush them totally! Let them be gone, expelled, purged, banished, and let them never darken our Safe Space again!
Let us sing together, friends
And now, friends, we come the moment that I know is the favourite part of this Blog for most of you! [Indeed – because that means you’ll finally shut up. – J.C. Jeremy!! You are quite incorrigible! – L. I’m greatly incorriged (geddit) to hear that, Lefty! – J.C. Groan! – L.]
Yes, it’s time for our musical moment, friends! John – could you tear yourself away from your Little Read Book for just a moment, and take a turn at the organ today, please? Thanks! All together now: