Friend Warsi’s Defection To The Remain Camp Changes Everything, Friends!

Hello, friends.

And I expect that all of you are as stunned as I am that Baroness Warsi – or Friend Warsi, as we should now call her – has defected to the Remain Camp.

As we all know, friends, Friend Warsi was a prominent Leaver, whose name was practically synonymous with Vote Leave, and whose anti-EU rhetoric was notorious, if subtle, e.g. her comment in 2011 that “Now is not the time to turn our backs on our friends. We must continue the work we have started together. This is the work that Margaret Thatcher began, bringing about growth through a competitive single market. And that must be our mission today.”

Ridiculous

Friends, Friend Warsi’s defection to Remain changes everything!  Up until now, as regular readers will be aware, this Blog has been strictly impartial about Our EU – almost as impartial as Friend Warsi, in fact.

But her defection has finally persuaded this Blog to come off the fence, nail our colours to the mast, grasp the bull by both horns, clutch the nettle, open the Pandora’s Box and come out fighting on our knees, with our backs to the Wall of Jericho, friends!  And we will fight, fight and fight again to save Our EU, which we love and cherish!

Nonsense, friends!

Friends, the EU may not be totally perfect – though, heaven knows, it is closer to perfection than anything else in this so-called World of ours, or indeed elsewhere! After all, friends, what other institution has such an impressive list of achievements to its credit?

Not merely did it nurture many of our most creative artists, e.g. Chaucer, Shakespeare, Elgar, The Beatles, Tracey Emin etc., but by dint of preventing World War III – the outbreak of which, friends, as Friend Cameron has reminded us, is a cast-iron certainty should Britain be so foolish as to leave Our EU – it has also enabled all of us to remain alive to enjoy their work.

And if that isn’t enough to persuade you, friends, then hopefully Our Jeremy’s [I was wondering when you were going to mention me, Lefty! J.C.] steadfast and consistent support for Our EU over the past 9 months should surely do the trick!

Strong Message Here

Friends, all of us on the Progressive Left – and there are many of us, friends, e.g. me – must now rally behind Our Dave and other progressive elements, i.e. Our IMF, Our Goldman Sachs, Our NATO, Our CBI etc. etc. to save Our EU, which is under sustained attack by Hard-Right elements, i.e. Dennis Skinner, Arthur Scargill, George Galloway and the Socialist Workers Party!

Let us sing together, friends!

Which brings us to what I know is for many of you the favourite part of this Blog! Yes, it’s time to sing my specially-written paean of praise to Our EU!  And in honour of Friend Warsi’s smartly-timed and totally principled defection to whatever camp it is she’s currently defected to, I have assembled a totally new Band, with her taking the starring role:

Lineup:

Friend Warsi: Lead Vocals

Friend Dave, Our Jeremy: Piano Duet, Backing Vocals

Our Boy George: Falsettos, Emergency Tax Rises, Tory Essential Cuts

Our President Juncker: Percussion, Pleas, Threats

Readers: please sing along, friends! All together now:

So raise the EU Flag high, whilst supporting Our EU all the time,
Beneath its shade we’ll live and die, and win a Remain vote by a landslide,
Though Kippers and Far-Right Knockers flinch, and anti-EU traitors predictably sneer,
We’ll totally smash the evil Leave scum, and keep the EU Flag flying here! 

 

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