And I hope that you have all signed the petition now circulating, which demands a second Referendum on Our EU, thereby providing the British people an opportunity to correct the grave error they foolishly made last Thursday, when they rashly ignored the advice of leading
politicians statespersons, e.g. Our Obama, along with that of respected, highly-expert experts whose amazing expertise in being experts is unrivalled in this world, and indeed elsewhere.
An amazing petition, friends!
The petition has already reached over 3 million signatures, friends! And it’s heartening to see just how many friends all over the world – and indeed elsewhere – have signed it, often several times, such was their sheer enthusiasm! For instance, 39,000 people hailing from Vatican City have appended their signatures to it – a truly amazing result from a city state of only 800 people, friends, and one which should give all of us on the Progressive Left huge encouragement.
Above all, this petition shows how entirely out-of-touch and unrepresentative those 17,410,742 Far-Right racist, bigoted, uneducated old Fascists, who had the effrontery to vote against Our EU, really are! Contrast that miserable handful of Hate Votes with Our Petition’s 3 million signatures which represent Hope and not Hate!
I must confess though, friends, that I have some reservations about some of the specific proposals in Our Petition. For instance, I have considerable concerns about the requirement for turnout to be at least 75% and the majority for Leave needing to be at least 60%.
Friends, those figures are far too low! The hated Farage might well get round that, by some underhand means, e.g. encouraging Leavers to vote! Instead, I propose a minimum turnout requirement of at least 100% – and preferably a lot higher, so as to encourage the maximum possible degree of voter participation – and with the majority for Leave needing to be at least 90%.
Furthermore, friends, in last week’s Referendum people simply did not understand the complexities of the issue at stake! For instance, the ballot paper was extremely confusing, providing as it did a “Leave” option as well as the proper option, i.e. the correct “Remain” option. In the next Referendum, friends, we should simplify this, to reflect the extreme complexity of the decision to be made, by retaining the “Remain” box only, so that people will not get confused as they obviously did last week.
Leave Campaign’s wild promises in tatters, friends!
And, friends, am I the only person to have noticed that the Leave campaign has already broken all of their promises, made during the Referendum campaign?
Have they cut immigration yet? No, friends – they have not! (Thank goodness, eh, friends!)
Are they now spending £350 million per week extra on Our NHS, as they solemnly promised to do? No, friends – they are not!
Have they abolished VAT on tampons? I think you know the answer to that, friends!
Have they, above all, worked out a trade agreement with every single country in the World – and indeed elsewhere – as they promised they would do, and without which, as we all know, all trade is utterly impossible? A big fat No to that one, too, friends!
Economic catastrophe, friends!
Meanwhile, friends, Our Stockmarket is literally crashing through the floor – down to a level which, being less than 10% above its lowest point this year (in February), represents a quite unparalleled slump – while the British Pound is now practically worthless, being only about 20% higher against the Euro than it was 7 years ago when, as we all know, inflation literally went through the roof!
And then, friends, the Leavers have the effrontery to claim that all our prophecies of economic catastrophe were exaggerated! Really, words fail me! At this rate, they’ll start claiming that World War III hasn’t started yet!
Strong Message Here
Friends, it is absolutely clear that there is really no mandate whatsoever for Britain to be taken out of Our EU. Our economic future, and World Peace, are far too important to jeopardise just because a handful of 17,410,742 bigoted people happened to mark a cross on a ballot paper last Thursday, on a racist whim!
Those of us on the Progressive Left – and there are many of us, friends, e.g. me – now need to listen to working people, in order to hear all of their concerns and fears for the future. It is only by doing this, friends, that we can understand what they are thinking, and thereby put their minds at rest by explaining to them exactly how and why they are wrong.
And, friends, let us forget entirely about having another Referendum! Issues on matters like whether Britain should be a self-governing nation are really far too important to be made in this way. Let us, instead, let important issues like this be decided by our greatest Parliamentarians, whose intellectual calibre cannot be questioned, e.g. Friend Lammy. [Hang on, Lefty – isn’t he on your List of Far-Right Red Tory Traitors to be deselected? – J.C. Sssshhhhh, Jeremy! – L.]
Let us sing together, friends, in celebration of Our EU!
Anyway, friends, let us conclude on our usual musical note! And today it should surely be my rather wonderful Ode To EU, given that all of us on the Progressive Left now regard Our EU as the best thing since Our USSR. All together now, friends: