All Of Us On The Progressive Left – And There Are Many Of Us, Friends, e.g. Me – Must Throw Our Not-Inconsiderable Weight Behind Our Theresa, Friends!

Hello, friends.

And I daresay you may all be rather surprised, to put it mildly, to see this Blog – which, as you all know, is now the main voice of the Progressive Left in this world, and indeed elsewhere – throwing its full weight behind that Far-Right Neoliberal Fascist Mrs May as the next leader of the Nasty Party!

Surprising, friends!

Why, I can hear you ask, would this Blog –  fully imbued as it is with the values of anti-racism, anti-Neoliberalism, anti-Fascism and all the other “anti-isms” of the Progressive Left – support that Hard-Right old hag Theresa May?

Surely, I can hear you cry – and we on the Progressive Left have been crying a lot recently – this Blog should turn its face away from the totally irrelevant power struggles going on in the Nasty Party, and instead concentrate all of its energy in to supporting Our Jeremy to the hilt?

Fundamental alteration of the hegemonistic neoliberal paradigm, friends!

Friends, if you’ll allow me – and indeed even if you won’t!  This is my Blog, after all! – I shall explain my reasoning a little further.

At first glance, the Far-Right Racist Neoliberal Fascist Mrs May may [Groan!J.C.] appear to be a Far-Right Racist Neoliberal Fascist, as are all members of the Nasty Party, as she so correctly labelled it all those years ago.

But, friends, that might be a somewhat unfair assessment of Mrs May – and, as you all know, I am nothing if not fair [You said it, Lefty!J.C.  Jeremy!  I’m getting more than a little weary of your somewhat irreverent interjections. You do seem to be somewhat demob-happy these days.L. No comment!J.C.], and to paraphrase J.M. Keynes:

When there is a fundamental alteration within the hegemonistic neoliberal paradigm, I am prepared to conduct a series of wide-ranging reviews in order to determine if the Party line should be in any way amended to accommodate this fundamental shift. What do you do, Friends?  [Nothing whatsoever.J.C.  Well, Jeremy, that explains a lot! – L.  No comment!J.C.  Jeremy, you seem to be saying “No comment!” an awful lot these days!  Why is that?  – L. No comment!J.C.]

And what is this “fundamental shift”, friends?  Well, the Hard-Right Guido Fawkes website has got hold of an article that the Far-Right Daily Telegraph published about Mrs May, but then withdrew.  And, friends, practically everything in this article tells me that Friend May is someone that we on the Progressive Left should support.

Just a few of the reasons why we should support Friend Theresa, friends!

The article – which was obviously censored by the Neoliberal Telegraph at the behest of its owners, the evil twins who also own Barclays Bank, because it was worried that her Progressive Left policies would be too popular – tells us some interesting things about Our Theresa, and her many achievements as Home Secretary over the past 6 years, which include the following:

  • immigration has been completely uncontrolled continuing at a healthy level, which only racists and Fascists could possibly complain about;
  • the number of people refused entry to the UK has dropped by 50 per cent, the backlog of finding failed asylum seekers has gone up and the number of illegal immigrants deported has gone down;
  • the eBorders IT system has collapsed at a cost of almost a billion pounds;
  • Friend Theresa’s welcome emphasis on the need for the police to concentrate on tackling really serious crimes – e.g. Hate Tweets (e.g. “I really hate the EU – let’s withdraw ASAP! #Leave”) rather than trivial misdemeanours, e.g. burglary, rape, murder etc., which in any case are nothing more than the inevitable result of vulnerable people justly protesting at this totally unjust society, which Thatcher claimed didn’t exist, and then destroyed.

And these are just a few of her many achievements and qualities, friends!  The article lists many more of them.  Really, as I look at this truly impressive list, I begin to think that, if she becomes Prime Minister, there’ll be hardly any need for a Labour Party at all!  No – only joking, friends! [You’d better be, Lefty, or you’ll be out on your ear.J.C.  Oh, Jeremy! Do you always have to take things so seriously?L.  Yes.J.C.]

Our Theresa supports Our EU, friends!

Most important of all – and something which the article doesn’t even mention – Our Theresa was, and doubtless still is, a supporter of the Remain campaign, which gives those of us on the losing side who represent Hope against Hate encouragement that Britain will not take the fatal step of following the racist whims of that tiny band of 17,410,742 bigoted people who viciously voted against Our EU. [Steady on, Lefty – there were surely quite a few Socialists who voted to Leave, weren’t there? – J.C.  Really, Jeremy!  You sometimes almost give me the impression that you were amongst that particular group! – L. No comment! – J.C.]

Strong Message Here

Friends, let us all sing together in support of Our Theresa’s imminent ascension to supreme political power!  And what could be a better way of expressing our support than by my newly-amended version of my already-amended version of the chorus of that lyrical and musical masterpiece, The Red Flag?

Lineup:

Friend Eric (Pickles), as a heavyweight supporter of Friend Theresa, has kindly agreed to play the organ – thanks, Eric!  All together now, friends:

So raise the EU standard high, whilst supporting Our Theresa all the time,
Beneath its shade we’ll live and die, and win an Election landslide,
Though the Banksters and the 1% rejoice, and Far-Right Tory traitors predictably sneer,
We’ll totally smash the evil 52% of the electorate scum, and keep the EU Flag flying here!

 

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