EXCLUSIVE: A Special Guest Blog From A Very Special Guest – Written Specially For You All By Jeremy Himself, Friends!

Hello, friends!  And I bet you’re all excited as I am by the fact that Jeremy has kindly agreed to write a Blog for you all!  He was a bit grumpy about doing it – I literally had to nag him to death until he’d written it! –  and as you can see, his rather jaundiced attitude has spilled out in to some of what he’s written here, which quite frankly is not worthy of him. And, furthermore, he’s insisted that, as a condition of publication, I should not “tamper” with anything he’s written!  Still, that’s life, isn’t it!  Hope you enjoy it, friends – and, almost needless to say, please don’t believe everything he’s written about Yours Truly! –  L.

Jeremy Writes:

Well, hello, all you good people who read Lefty’s Blog. Must admit, I don’t generally look at it myself, as it’s frankly pretty risible stuff, and really, to be perfectly honest, it’s not my sort of thing at all.

But obviously, when Lefty asked me if I’d mind writing a piece for the Blog, I could hardly refuse, could I?  At any rate, anything I wrote here could hardly be worse than any of his pieces, for which the term “piss-poor” would be over-generous, if truth be told.

I do hope, friends – I assume you don’t mind me calling you “friends”, by the way? Lefty does go somewhat overboard on all this “over-familiarity” bit, doesn’t  he? – that you don’t believe everything that Lefty writes in this Blog!  Quite honestly, from what I’ve seen, he’s pretty fond of bigging himself up in some of his tales of the going-ons in my office. It’s not all fun and frolics, you know!  Quite the contrary.

We in the Labour Party have got quite a mountain to climb over the next few years, as I’m sure you all realise. It’s not all plain sailing by any means, especially with the unfortunate intervention of a certain Labour MP who has put his personal ambition and ego ahead of the needs of our Party.

Still, it’s certainly not all doom and gloom.  We have got the biggest Party membership of any UK Political Party, and it’s still rising fast.  And we’re developing some exciting policies which I firmly believe will enable us to garner many, many votes in the forthcoming General Election, whenever it is held.

While I’m here, I should just say that, with all due respect to Lefty, I do find him a somewhat over-excitable and unreliable member of staff.  He – let me be completely blunt here – is rather “up himself”, as I’m sure you’ve all noticed, and he has caused quite a lot of bad feeling in the Party with some of his childish antics. However, he is a young lad with a promising future in front of him, and hopefully when he’s a little older and wiser, he will be able to contribute rather more to the Party than he does at present.

Anyway, I think that’s all I have to say for now.  Thank you for reading this.  Hope to see many of you in September, at the Labour Party Conference.

Best wishes,

J.C.

P.S. I know that Lefty always likes to end his pieces with some “musical number” or some such nonsense, but really, I hope you’ll all forgive me if I don’t.  It’s all pretty childish and unnecessary, isn’t it?  Shouldn’t we just be a little bit more serious and grown-up than this?  I mean, it’s people’s lives we’re actually talking about here, isn’t it?  J.C.

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5 thoughts on “EXCLUSIVE: A Special Guest Blog From A Very Special Guest – Written Specially For You All By Jeremy Himself, Friends!

  1. Oh Wow! Does that mean I can write a piece on the very same page as my hero? Incredible! I shall not wash my fingers for a month – in the same way as I understand he does not.

    This is not a personal cleanliness thing, Friends! It is an act of near-worship. Without a deity of course. We could call it ‘Worsnip’ to distinguish these meanings. Actually, Friends, I did until I realised my misteak, sorry mistake. Narrowly avoided Halal trap, there.

    Friends, I feel so dizzy that I could almost lose my head at being in such close proximity to my hero. Oh, looking down, I just notice that I have! Aloo Saag Akbar, Friends. And to all our friends from the LGBT community. What a wonderful world we have made. If only I had been able to continue to live to enjoy it.

    That was the unkindest cut of all…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, that’s a great honour for you, well done, even though he was a bit rude to you, which I thought was rather unfair.

    More good news is that in a tough, hostile interview with Owen Jones of the Guardian, Jeremy says he can win a snap election.

    http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/jul/29/jeremy-corbyn-labour-could-win-snap-general-election

    At the end he says “We’re gonna go for it and win it” and “I’m very optimistic”.
    Let’s hope that there is an election soon so that we can see Jeremy where he belongs in Downing Street!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Friend Paul. Well, if you think that Jeremy was rude to me here, you should hear what he says to me in the office when things are going badly!

      Regarding an early General Election, I’m not hopeful, as the Tories are utterly terrified of Jeremy, and fear that an election would simply result in a landslide. (The Far-Right Neoliberal Guardian obviously realises this too, which is why it’s not allowing BTL comments on the interview.)

      Like

  3. I fully agree with Our Jeremy (on this issue, and of course on every other issue, Comrade. To do otherwise would be Thoughtcrime).

    How Lefty has the temerity to insert “fun” into his blog when there are people on foodbanks, I don’t know. How “Flashman” Camoron had the gall to poke his jibes on a weekly basis at Our Black Knight when people are on zero-hours contracts, I really don’t know. Just how “Flashwoman” May had the cheek to mock Our Saint Jeremy as an unscrupulous boss when out there in the real world children are being sent up chimneys just to earn a crust to eat, I simply do not know.

    From now on anything that smacks of mirth or enjoyment shall be strictly verboten until Our Lord and Saviour, Corbyn I, Healer of the Sick, He Who Makes Cripples Walk, comes into power to smite pestilence and starvation from this broken, broken, Tory land. Anyone caught with so much as a smile on their face until the appointed day will be off to the gulag for re-education in the creed of Corbynist-Miserablism.

    Liked by 1 person

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