And I expect that UB40-fied – GEDDIT! [Groan! – J.C. Oh Jeremy – kindly stop your Red, Red Whining! – L. I totally despair! – J.C.] – by the forthcoming amazing victory that Jeremy is going to win over the widely-hated, widely-unknown, Far-Right Red Tory racist neoliberal Owen Jones [How many times, Lefty, do I have to tell you it’s Smith, dammit! – J.C. Oh sorry, Jeremy – it’s just that, with the Labour Party literally bursting at the seams with Far-Right neoliberal racist Red Tory traitors, it’s sometimes hard to remember which one’s which! – L.] in less than three weeks’ time, when 500,000 odd people will choose Our New Leader, i.e. Our Jeremy!
But, friends, this is no time for complacency! It is imperative that every single supporter of our very broad coalition of people holding a very diverse set of
Far-Left Progressive views who support Jeremy, e.g. Trotskyists, Communists, Anarchists, Stalinists, Leninists, Maoists, Greens, and Our Junior Doctors, uses their votes, and as many times as possible!
After all, friends, never let it be forgotten how it looked as though Our Ed was going to cruise to victory in last year’s totally rigged General Election, right up until the Hard-Right Exit Poll was viciously published at 10pm on Election Night, at which point all of us on the Progressive Left realised that we had made a literally fatal mistake in picking the Far-Right Red Tory Traitor Miliband as Leader, as proved by the fact that millions of Labour voters, disgusted by his fervently Hard-Right neoliberalism, decided to vote for UKIP and the Tories in protest.
Friends, every vote literally counts! And if we want to avoid the fate of having the hated Trump, or the hated Farage – or even worse, friends, the widely-hated, widely-unknown Far-Right Red Tory Traitor, the Hard-Right racist neoliberal Owen Jones [Oh, I give up! – J.C. Oh no, Jeremy! Please don’t – not when the sweet smell of victory is so close, we can practically see it! Oh, sorry, see what you mean – I mean Owen Smith! – L.] – emerging as the new Labour Leader on 24th September, we must vote, vote and vote again to save Our Jeremy, whom we know and love!
Bigger than any of us, friends!
Once Jeremy has been safely reaffirmed as Leader of Our Party – and let us never forget, friends, that the Party is bigger than any of us, even me – we can finally get down to the really important business, the business for which the Labour Party was originally set up to achieve: namely, getting rid of all the Far-Right Red Tory Traitors who sadly infest its ranks, and who are literally hiding inside a Trojan Horse wrapped in a Pandora’s Box, in which there is absolutely no silver lining, but which barely conceals an extremely Hard-Right pig in a poke which, if unleashed from behind the bolted stable door, would send the Good Ship Labour right up the creek without a paddle, sinking her and all who sail in her, including Yours Truly, in to a veritable quicksand from which literally none of us could ever escape!
Strong Message Here
And, of course, friends, we must continue to fight against this totally unelected Tory Government, which is literally worse than Thatcher! In particular, we must ensure that Britain remains in Our EU, and that the tiny handful of 17,410,742 Far-Right racists, who viciously voted for Hard-Right Brexit in June, and who represent absolutely nobody but themselves, are utterly defeated. [Hang on, Lefty – surely we can’t thwart a democratic vote just like that, however much some of us may not like the result? – J.C. Really, Jeremy! I sometimes wonder how truly committed you are to supporting Our EU! – L. No comment! – J.C.]
Let us sing together, friends!
And now, friends, we come to the bit of the Blog that I know many of you literally can’t wait for! Yes, it’s time for our little sing-song! (You know me so well, friends!) I was going to ask Friend Keith to play the organ for this particular Blog, but for some reason he’s apparently “not available” – probably, now I think about it, because he’s on my List of Far-Right Red Tory Traitors To Be Deselected! (That List, though essential, can sometimes cause a few little difficulties for us, friends!) So, Diane, can you step in, please – I’m sure your organ-playing will make a Vazt difference! (Not a bad little pun eh, friends! And to think that there are Far-Right neoliberals who claim that we on the Progressive Left have no sense of humour!) Thanks! All together now, friends: