Apologies, friends!

Hello, friends.

Apologies to any of you who had a notification of my Blog earlier re becoming a SupportOurJeremy Member.

I did not intend to put out that Blog until this coming Thursday, as I have already put out a Blog today, and think you all deserve a rest for a few days!  Unfortunately I pressed the wrong key by accident the Hard-Right WordPress viciously published it for me, against my wishes.

It will appear on Thursday (3rd November).

Best wishes,

Lefty

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Sunday Selection of Lefty’s Greatest Tweets [Ha! – J.C.], 23rd-30th October

Hello, friends.

And here is my latest compilation of Tweets from the Hard-Right neoliberal racist Twitter, which I trust you will enjoy [Fat chance of that, Lefty! J.C. What on earth has Diane got to do with this, Jeremy? – L.], now that they have been literally immortalised here in the Far-Right racist neoliberal WordPress!

Incidentally, I’m planning to write a “regular” Blog [Ha!J.C.] for Thursday, in which I’ll be asking you all to send me loads of money become a SupportOurLefty Member, which I hope you’ll all do!  See you – literally – then!  In the meantime, here are last week’s Tweets:

Sunday 23rd October

Monday 24th October

Tuesday 25th October

Wednesday 26th October

Thursday 27th October

Friday 28th October

Saturday 29th October

Sunday 30th October

****************************************************

Let us literally sing together, friends!

And that’s literally all for now, friends!  It is now literally Time [Groan! – J.C.] for me to go! But not before we’ve had our little sing-song together, eh!  (Organ, Diane!)  All together now, friends:

So raise the scarlet standard high, whilst supporting Our Jeremy all the time,
Beneath its shade we’ll live and die, and win a General Election landslide,
Though the Banksters and the 1% flinch, and Red Tory traitors predictably sneer,
We’ll totally smash the evil Zionist Tory scum, and keep the Red Flag flying here!

 

Lefty’s Best Tweets [That HAS To Be An Oxymoron, Lefty! – J.C. Really Jeremy! It’s Bad Enough That You Keep Butting-In To My Pieces With Your Literally Ridiculous Comments! Kindly Leave My Headlines Alone! – L.], 18th-23rd October

Hello, friends.

And as promised – that’s one in the eye to Hard-Right elements who claim that those of us on the Progressive Left don’t keep our promises! – here’s my second round-up of some of my best [Yeah, right. – J.C.  Jeremy! I am growing more than a little weary of your constant carping and literally snide comments! – L.] Tweets, this time from last week.

For anyone who missed the previous week’s compilation, it can be found here. And, subject to public demand [Ha!J.C.] and indeed my ability to generate Tweets of a sufficiently good standard [Stop it, Lefty! I can’t breathe for laughing! – J.C. Jeremy! I sometimes think you only come here to literally poke fun at me! – L. No comment! – J.C.], I shall publish a roundup of Tweets every Sunday from now on. Anyway, here’s the latest lot, friends:

Tuesday 18th October

Wednesday 19th October

Thursday 20th October

Friday 21st October

Sunday 23rd October

Let us sing together, friends!

And finally, friends, I am very pleased to announce that not only has Our Len kindly agreed to waive the Union rules that hitherto have forbidden singing on this Blog on Sundays, he has also generously agreed to literally take a hand at the organ today! After all, friends, Sunday is a day of Prayer and Worship – and even though those of us on the Progressive Left literally haven’t got a Prayer, we have at least got a J.C. who we can literally Worship, eh!  All together now:

So raise the scarlet standard high, whilst supporting Our Jeremy all the time,
Beneath its shade we’ll live and die, and win a General Election landslide,
Though the Banksters and the 1% flinch, and Red Tory traitors predictably sneer,
We’ll totally smash the evil Zionist Tory scum, and keep the Red Flag flying here!

NEW: Best Of Lefty’s Tweets From The Hard-Right Neoliberal Twitter – Weekly Round-up, Friends! (10th-16th October)

Hello, friends.

And I am literally delighted to announce a new feature for this Blog, which is being produced at literally at no extra cost to you, my readers!

From now on, I shall be reproducing some of my best Tweets [Isn’t that an oxymoron, Lefty? – J.C.  Really, Jeremy!  Can I not even write a short note here without you literally butting in? – L. No. – J.C.] here, on a weekly basis, so that those of you who do not see my Progressive Left Tweets on the Hard-Right neoliberal racist Twitter, can now see them here on the Far-Right racist neoliberal WordPress instead!

Generally, I shall publish this weekly compilation on a Sunday, but this weekend, as a special tweet (geddit!  Who says that those of us on the Progressive Left have no sense of humour, eh friends?) for you all, I am putting out 2 compilations: the week before last’s in today’s Blog, and then last week’s in tomorrow’s Blog.

I literally hope you’ll enjoy what follows, friends – and don’t forget to literally tune in tomorrow for a special Second Helping!  (Your cups literally overfloweth eh!)

Anyway, here goes, friends:

Monday 10th October

Wednesday 12th October

Thursday 13th October

Friday 14th October

Saturday 15th October

Sunday 16th October

PS: If any friends here want me to have our little musical number, e.g. Our Red Flag, with which to finish these particular Blogs, please let me know [No way! – J.C. Oh, Jeremy! You are literally such a damp squib at times! – L.] and I’ll see if I can get round the Union rules which strictly forbid singing on this Blog on Saturdays and Sundays.  (Damn Len and all his stupid restrictive practices eh, friends!)

There Is Literally No Anti-Semitism Whatsoever In Our Labour Party, Friends! (And In Any Case, Friends, This Problem Is Widespread In All Political Parties.) Anyone Who Claims Otherwise Is Obviously Part Of A Literally Huge Worldwide Zionist Conspiracy, Friends!

Hello, friends.

And today’s Blog is going to literally tackle head-on the huge problem of anti-Semitism, which has been greatly exaggerated, and has been literally dismissed as any kind of problem in Friend Shami’s highly objective report, Why There Is Absolutely No Anti-Semitism In The Labour Party Whatsoever, And In Any Case This Is A Problem Which Affects All The Political Parties.

Literally not a problem, friends!

Friends, there is literally no anti-Semitism in the Labour Party whatsoever!  It is, in any case, a problem which affects all the Political Parties, e.g. the widely-hated UKIP. Anyone who claims that we in the Labour Party are literally turning a blind eye to anti-Semitism, literally needs their head examining!  Or is a member of Mossad! And is part of the literally enormous Jewish Zionist conspiracy that is to be found all over the world, and indeed elsewhere.

And, friends, let me deal with the literally absurd canard that those of us on the Progressive Left have any sort of issue with the people of Israel. That is literally ridiculous! Our argument is not with them, but with the literally vicious Governments that they keep electing.

Friends, I have been literally fighting racism since literally before I was born, and indeed even before then, and the idea that I would tolerate any kind of racism in Our Labour Party is quite literally ridiculous!

Thatcher’s fault, friends!

Anyway, friends, having dealt with that problem – rather well, if I may say so, or indeed even if I may not – let us now turn to a far greater problem that has literally devastated our society – which, never let it forgotten, friends, Thatcher first denied the existence of, and then totally destroyed – since that literally dark day of June 23rd.

Hate, friends!

I refer, of course, to the literally terrifying epidemic of Hard-Right Hate Crimes that has literally engulfed Britain since the widely-hated Hate Vote of June 23rd, in which a tiny handful of 17,410,742 racists and bigots – who, let it never be forgotten, friends, represent absolutely nobody but themselves – viciously voted against Our EU, thereby literally turning Britain in to the Pariah of the World, and indeed elsewhere, with their literally astonishing display of Far-Right intolerance and bigotry.

Intolerance must be totally smashed, friends!

Ever since that literally hideous day, friends, at the very thought of which, like Friend Lily, I literally burst in to tears, Britain has literally been riven with every possible type of Hate Crime. Here are just a few, literally terrifying, examples:

There have been Hate Looks, where certain people – doubtless elements of a Hard-Right, racist tendency – have given other people funny looks.

There have been Hate Thoughts, where people have had the most despicable thoughts. I know this for a fact, friends, because, well, it’s just so easy to tell when someone is a hater who simply judges and classifies people on a whim, isn’t it?

There have been Hate Jokes, i.e. people making distinctly off-colour so-called jokes, e.g. “This Hate Crime business is going a bit far, isn’t it?  At this rate, people will be going to prison for having different opinions!”

There have been Hate Tweets, Hate Posts, Hate Blogs, Hate Podcasts, and Hate Speech generally.  Really, friends, I literally despair at all this literally hateful hatred!

Literally incalculable, friends!

Friends, the number of these assorted Hate Crimes is literally incalculable, and all the objective and highly-scientific research carried out by impartial researchers, i.e. me, shows that the number of Hate Crimes is now well over 10,000% of whatever it was before that literally vicious day of June 23rd, and which has literally skyrocketed to hundreds of billions of Hate Crimes per day.

And even if some – or indeed any – of these Hate Crimes didn’t happen, that doesn’t make them any less serious, friends. After all, friends, a Hate Crime is a Hate Crime, irrespective of whether it actually happened or not.

Knockers, friends!

Almost needless to say, friends, there are the usual array of Hard-Right cynics, n’er do well’s, subversives, knockers and haters who callously claim that all this talk of Hate Crimes is nothing more than a totalitarian plan to prevent people from thinking “wrong thoughts”, and expressing “wrong opinions”.

Which just goes to show that such people are themselves Hate Criminals, friends! After all, if they didn’t have all these literally hateful Hate Thoughts and Hate Opinions, then there wouldn’t be a problem in the first place, would there?

Anyway, the good news is that I have a final solution [Groan!J.C.] to eliminate that particular problem: a new class of Hate Crime, namely Hate Crime Denial, i.e. anyone who in any way attempts to argue against or deny the very real and literally terrifying problem of Thought Hate Crime should be immediately found guilty of Hate Crime Denial, for which no punishment could literally be sufficiently severe. (Who says that those of us on the Progressive Left are “soft on crime” eh, friends? Not on Hate Crime, we’re not!)

Let us sing together, friends!

And now, friends, as this particular Blog literally draws to its close [Phew!J.C.], let us now sing, in celebration of Our Shami’s literally total exoneration of This Great Movement Of Ours of any form of anti-Semitism, as well as the totally unrelated matter of her subsequent literally well-deserved promotion to Our House of Lords and Our Shadow Cabinet, that stirring chorus from my updated version of that musical and lyrical classic, the Red Flag. (Organ, Diane!)  All together now, friends:

So raise the scarlet standard high, whilst supporting Our Jeremy all the time,
Beneath its shade we’ll live and die, and win a General Election landslide,
Though the Banksters and the 1% flinch, and Red Tory traitors predictably sneer,
We’ll totally smash the evil Zionist Tory scum, and keep the Red Flag flying here!

 

 

Jeremy’s New Shadow Cabinet Is Literally The Best Labour Shadow Cabinet Ever, Friends! It is Literally The Envy Of The World, And Indeed Elsewhere! No Wonder The Tories Are Utterly Terrified Of It (The Shadow Cabinet, I Mean), Friends!

Hello, friends.

And I expect that you are all as literally thrilled as I am by Jeremy’s new Shadow Cabinet!  Wow, it really is literally stuffed with high-calibre talent, isn’t it, friends? And with Our Diane and Our Emily now in leading roles, along with the Far-Right Red Tory Traitor Tom Watson for political balance, not even the most Hard-Right of our political detractors can deny that it contains some literally heavyweight politicians, too!

Isn’t it marvellous too, friends, that Our Baroness Shami has become Shadow Attorney General?  And, by the way, for any of those cynics and knockers who claim that this is some kind of reward for her discovery that there is absolutely no anti-Semitism in the Labour Party – which in any case, friends, is a problem which affects all the main political parties – I can only say that finding no anti-Semitism in the Labour Party involved a great deal of extremely diligent and painstaking work, which deserved a reward, which of course was not given.  Oh no, friends!  We in the Labour Party are not like those Hard-Right Tories who viciously place their paid lackeys in to the House of Lords!  [Hang on, Lefty – didn’t we put Shami in the House of Lords? – J.C.  That’s not the point, Jeremy! This is completely different, because we’re not Hard-Right Tories! – L.]

I am very glad, too, that Friend John is remaining as Shadow Chancellor, as there is literally nobody else in the world, or indeed elsewhere, who has his understanding of economics!  His Little Read Book is literally terrifying the Tories to death, friends!

Difficult, friends!

Selecting the rest of the Shadow Cabinet was no easy task, friends!  Once Jeremy and I had literally weeded out the 172 Hard-Right Red Tory Traitors who viciously voted against him in June’s Vote Of Confidence – in which, never let it forgotten, friends, he won an impressive 40-vote victory – along with everyone on this Blog’s List of Far-Right Red Tory Traitors To Be Deselected, there was literally no-one left, or should I say Left!  (Not a bad little joke there eh, friends!  And to think that there are Hard-Right elements who claim that those of us on the Progressive Left have no sense of humour!)

So, how did Jeremy and I manage to fill all the vacancies in the Shadow Cabinet?  I can hear you all ask. [More voices in your head, Lefty?  You really need help! – J.C.   Oh Jeremy! Surely you of all people should know that, thanks to Hard-Right Tory Austerity, there is literally no help for anyone who needs it!  Which, by the way, I don’t, you cheeky monkey! – L.]

Some very confidential information for you all, friends!

Well, friends, I am sorry to say that I am not at liberty to reveal such highly-confidential information.  My lips, friends, are literally sealed!

Having said that, it’s a pretty impressive Shadow Cabinet, isn’t it, friends?  Even if people haven’t actually heard of some – or indeed any – of the new members, thanks to the vicious censorship of the Hard-Right Murdoch-controlled Monopoly Media, e.g. the Far-Right BBC whose anti-Socialist, neoliberal bias is obvious to even the meanest intelligence, i.e. me, it is surely obvious that the widely-hated Hard-Right Bullingdon Bully Boy May is utterly terrified of Our Shadow Cabinet!

Which is why, friends, we in the Labour Party, along with other Progressive Left elements, must prepare ourselves for an early General Election, which Jeremy is convinced that the cowardly May will be – literally – calling within months.

I have to confess, friends, that I am a little confused [More than a little, Lefty! – J.C.  Jeremy, behave! – L.] as to why the widely-hated May would call an early election, given that, as we all know, this totally unelected Tory Government is so widely hated.  But I have no doubt whatsoever, friends, that whenever she calls that election, the result will be – literally – a landslide!

Let us sing together, friends!

Anyway, friends, let us finish in a more traditional way than we’ve done in my more recent Blogs!  Instead of having my Band play a rather raucous pop song, let us now, quietly, and with the great dignity that This Great Movement Of Ours is so justly famous for, sing, at the top of our voices, that uplifting chorus from my updated version of that musical and lyrical classic, the Red Flag.  (Diane – I know you’re very busy with your new responsibilities, whatever they are, but could you just stop shouting “Racist!” for literally just one second, and play the organ for us?  Thanks!)  All together now, friends:

So raise the scarlet standard high, whilst supporting Our Jeremy all the time,
Beneath its shade we’ll live and die, and win a General Election landslide,
Though the Banksters and the 1% flinch, and Red Tory traitors predictably sneer,
We’ll totally smash the evil Tory scum, and keep the Red Flag flying here!

Those Of Us On The Progressive Left – And There Are Actually Quite A Few Of Us, Friends, e.g. Me – Must Now Unite To Smash The Widely-Hated, Far-Right Bullingdon Bully Boy May’s Vicious, Undemocratic, And Totally Illegal Attempt to Implement Hard-Right Brexit, Friends!

Hello, friends.

This is literally the most difficult Blog I have ever sat down to write, because the Far-Right Bullingdon Bully Boy May’s vicious plan for Hard-Right Brexit has literally left me lost for words [I’ll believe that when I see it, Lefty! – J.C.  Jeremy, this is no time for gay banter! And I have to say that you appear to be in a remarkably cheerful mood, considering that this totally unelected Tory Government is literally destroying Our EU. – L. No comment!J.C.], and in a mood that can only be described as literally suicidal!

Friends, those of us on the Progressive Left have been noticeably silent ever since that dreadful day of June 24th, which was the worst day in history for us since that dark day in May 1979 when the hated Thatcher seized power via a totally undemocratic military coup d’état, which was secretly led by her close personal friend, that notorious Jew Zionist General Pinochet. [Are you quite sure about all of this, Lefty?  Must admit, that’s not my exact recollection! – J.C. Oh really, Jeremy!  It’s all there on the Internet, if you look hard enough! – L.]

We have kept quiet, friends, while Britain has literally crashed and burned, as we always predicted it would, all as a result of Brexit. Even that Hard-Right Murdoch mouthpiece, the so-called BBC, whose blatant anti-EU bias is obvious to even the meanest intelligence, i.e. me, has reluctantly conceded that the British economy – which Thatcher destroyed – has been literally devastated by Brexit, with Our Stockmarket crashing to steadily greater heights on an almost-daily basis.

MADNESS, friends!

But, friends, the time has now come for us to break our silence and speak out against this MADNESS, before any more damage is done!

Friends, there is a neoliberal myth – perpetuated by the Far-Right Murdoch-controlled Monopoly Media, e.g. the so-called Internet – that those of us on the Progressive Left are against Referendums, because – so the Fascist claim goes – we are fundamentally undemocratic people who don’t give a tinker’s cuss about what ordinary people think or care about.

Nothing could be further from the truth, friends!  We on the Progressive Left are actually strongly in favour of Referendums, as is clearly demonstrated by the fact that we always favour holding as many Referendums as are needed to obtain the correct result, which is why we are now campaigning for a Second Referendum on Our EU.

We on the Progressive Left accept the result, friends!

Friends, it is simply untrue to say that those of us on the Progressive Left are somehow “bad losers” who “do not accept the result of the Referendum”.

That is yet another Hard-Right Leave Camp lie, friends!  Of course we accept it!

We accept the fact, friends, that a tiny handful of 17,410,742 Hard-Right bigots and racists – who, never let it be forgotten, represent nobody but themselves – made a huge mistake in June, because they did not actually know what they were voting for.

What does Hard-Right Brexit actually MEAN, friends?

Friends, Hard-Right Brexit, apart from being totally illegal and undemocratic, would literally spell the end of the world, and indeed elsewhere!

It would mean, friends, that instead of laws being drawn up by a totally democratic and enlightened institution, i.e. Our EU, they will in future be imposed on us by this totally unelected Tory Government, which will be impossible to get rid of owing to our totally rigged electoral system which deems the “winner” to be the party that just happens to win the most votes. (Talk about an example of true neoliberal Fascism, friends!)

It would also literally destroy the economy, friends, because, as we all know, it is absolutely impossible for any international trade whatsoever to take place unless it has first been sanctioned by Our EU. [Hang on, Lefty – that surely can’t be true? – J.C. Oh Jeremy!  Anna Soubry said this on the BBC the other day, and the interviewer didn’t challenge her, which proves it! – L.  Anna Soubry?  Never heard of her!  But in any case, did she give any source for this claim, Lefty? – J.C. She did indeed, Jeremy – it was an article  by Polly Toynbee in the Guardian. – L. Oh right, whatever. – J.C.]

What’s the point, friends?

And so, friends, I just ask: What is the point of all this?  Why should we literally smash Britain – which Thatcher totally destroyed – in to pieces by leaving Our EU, which Britain has only been a member of for 43 years?  This is hardly a reasonable amount of time in which to make such an important decision as this!  Let’s give Our EU a few more decades before deciding to take such a literally insane decision as to leave it!

Literally Fascism, friends!

Friends, leaving Our EU would literally be Fascism!  In fact, it would be worse than Fascism, because although it would be a National decision, it would not in any way be a Socialist one.

Let us, friends, stop this MADNESS – and NOW!

Let us sing together, friends!

And now, friends, the moment you’ve all been – literally – waiting for!  And today, we are going to sing another of my special songs for the Blog, i.e. Give Our EU A Chance!  For some reason, Jeremy adamantly refuses to take lead vocals for this, so I have reluctantly decided to take on this particular duty myself.

Lineup:

Me: Acoustic Guitar, Lead Vocals

Jeremy: Lead Guitar, Backing Vocals

John: Little Read Book!  No – only joking, John! Bass Guitar, Backing Vocals

Diane: Organ, backing vocals

Seamus: Venezuelan-style Tambourines.

Readers: Please feel free to sing along, friends!  All together now:

Two, one two three four
Ev’rybody’s talking about
Racism, Fascism, Sexism, Neoliberalism, Elitism, Anti-EUism, 
This-ism, that-ism, is-m, is-m, is-m.

All we are saying is give Our EU a chance
All we are saying is give Our EU a chance

C’mon
Ev’rybody’s talking about EU Commissioners,
Ministers, Brussels and Strasbourg
Euros and 1%ers and Banksters and Jews Zionists,
And bye bye, bye byes.

All we are saying is give Our EU a chance
All we are saying is give Our EU a chance

Let me tell you now
Ev’rybody’s talking about
Referendums, Revolutions, Mass debates,
Self-flagellation, EU Regulations, EU integration,
Brexit, United Nations,
Congratulations.

Ev’rybody’s talking about
Jean-Claude Juncker, Angela Merkel, 
Mark Carney, Dave Cameron, Georgie Osborne,
François Hollande, Marine Le Pen,
Charlotte Church, President Obama,
Obama, what a bummer.

All we are saying is give Our EU a chance
All we are saying is give Our EU a chance

[rpt]