Lefty’s Sunday Selection of Best Tweets [You’re Havin’ A Laugh, Lefty! – J.C. Indeed I’m Not, Jeremy! My Progressive Left Tweets Are – Literally – No Laughing Matter! – L. No Comment! – J.C.], 11th-18th December. And My Best Wishes For The Winterval Season To – Literally – All My Reader [Sic! – J.C.]

Hello, friends.

And first of all, I would like to wish all of you [Yeah – that’s just me, Lefty! Nobody else can be bothered to read your rubbish! – J.C. Oh Jeremy! That’s quite untrue! Friend Singer reads it just to count the “literally’s”, and then there’s Friend Archbishop, and Friend Catweazle, Friend Dave S., Friend State, Friend IHate and one or two others, besides! Readership of this Blog is now almost in to double figures! – L.] a very Happy Winterval Season!

Alas, due to ongoing Hard-Right Tory Austerity, I – literally – can not do this.

A warm greeting, friends!

So instead, I would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas, friends!

But obviously I can’t do that either, because that would be Hate Speech.

So I shall just express my hope that you can all somehow find a way to cope with the next two weeks of viciously Hard-Right materialistic neoliberalism and Far-Right so-called Christianity which is literally nothing more than the worship of a totally false God who – literally – doesn’t exist, unlike Hard-Right Climate Change, which is literally destroying this Earth – and there is only one Earth, friends, apart from all the others – and indeed elsewhere, e.g. my native Mars.

Christmas Quiz, friends!

I shall – literally – be back in the New Year, with another roundup of Tweets, plus the answers to my Christmas Quiz [What Christmas Quiz is this, Lefty? I haven’t seen this! – J.C. Oh, Jeremy! You can be so dense at times! I mean the Christmas Quiz that I’ll be publishing next Christmas, 2017. – L. Oh right, whatever. J.C.]

Until then, friends, stay strong, and remember, as you greedily tuck in to your Hard-Right so-called Christmas Lunch, that literally millions of children are literally starving to death literally every day in Far-Right Foodbanks in this so-called country – which Thatcher totally destroyed –  and that we must campaign vigorously for them to get the vote, so they can then help us to unelect this – literally – totally unelected Tory Government.

So, friends, without more ado, here are last week’s Tweets:

Sunday 11th December

Monday 12th December

Tuesday 13th December

Wednesday 14th December

Thursday 15th December

Friday 16th December

Saturday 17th December

Sunday 18th December

Let us sing together, friends!

OK, friends, for the final time [Phew!J.C.], at least in 2016 [Pity it’s not forever, Lefty! – J.C. Oh Jeremy! Don’t be so damn curmudgeonly! It’s Christmas, for – literally – Christ’s sake! Groan! – J.C.] let us sing together! As Diane and Emily have already gone off together for their Winterval Fortnight in Cuba, is there one of you who could play the organ for us? Friend Archbishop? Thanks! OK, friends, all together now:

So raise the scarlet standard high, whilst supporting Our Jeremy all the time,
Beneath its shade we’ll live and die, and win a 2020 Election landslide,
Though the Banksters and the 1% flinch, and Red Tory traitors predictably sneer,
We’ll totally smash the evil Tory scum, and keep the Red Flag flying here!
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19 thoughts on “Lefty’s Sunday Selection of Best Tweets [You’re Havin’ A Laugh, Lefty! – J.C. Indeed I’m Not, Jeremy! My Progressive Left Tweets Are – Literally – No Laughing Matter! – L. No Comment! – J.C.], 11th-18th December. And My Best Wishes For The Winterval Season To – Literally – All My Reader [Sic! – J.C.]

  1. Just back from my Winterval Service with nobody there but the Robbie Williams poster and a dog called Lennon.
    So what joy that you`ve given me ALL next years sermons in soundbites and gay colours.
    Let us be the Bono in the sandwich between Manley and Seaga…let us be the Clinton between Paisley and McGuinness.
    I offer my good offices to bring you and Singer Under Bridges together-I see a schism already forming on the Dextral/Sinistral sides of our Movement.
    I have already had Jeremy Corbyn and Owen Smith under my capacious cassock, discussing how to take the tort to the Fairies…fight to the Tories was it?
    Anyway-Catweasle666…. seems to be the coming man, so if I`m not YOUR Rasputin before we take them all out and shoot them…then I may have to break ranks and take over this movement in the Corrs of the Peepul!
    Your felicitacious if fractious fop…Archie of the Thousand Islands.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Lefty, I cannot be used as a pawn in a dispute between our esteemed leader and a mounteback blogger with delusions of blog messages from the spirit world (= Party Headquarters). I therefore request the Chiltern Five Hundreds (or at least some of them). I’ve turned off the Atlas 2000 that crunched the “literally” numbers and handed my researches over to the Office of Budget Irresponsibility (Ron down the pub, currently sunning himself in the Dartmoor Riviera).

    I pledge allegiance to our exhausted leader – our Jeremy (why is it that whenever I write this I think of that fascist Clarkson and wonder what his assessment of the Red Coup would be?).

    The troika (a figment of his Irreverantship’s infertile imagination) with my departure becomes a doika.

    Archbish, If you should succeed I would doubtless review my options. However, I understand the Order of Icepick is on its way, special Christmas delivery.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Singer…you ARE required for the Revolution. Support Our Lefty is INDEED the Leader that we all voted for to represent we Little People in the Cause of Jeremy…and despite being the Bashing Bishop of Rightward Fascists, my luscious housekeeper( a woman believe it or not!) tells me that no Revolution ever succeeded without its Pete Seegers, its Vince Hills or Red Wedge troubadours.
    So-here`s hoping that you`ll be the bard for Bolshevism that Billy Bragg only pretended to be…is an icepick but a letter opener?…a sermon may well come from this.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Lefty, My spies inform me you acted with impeccable taste and decorum (only two sent to hospital with crushed tender parts) when forcing a escape path for our Jeremy at the fascist Christmas karaoke where he was subjected to torylike scumbag chants by ultraright Labour ingrates. They provocatively sang “like a Virgin” (when no one would relinquish their seat for the gray haired old codger and he tried to sit on the floor), “back to the USSR”, and as a final insult – Tony Blair’s favourite “Things can only get better”. Abusive carolling of the first order – just because Jeremy refused to karaok “I did it my way” (a much requested number).

    I would have worn earplugs, quaffed the booze and nibbles on offer, and passed the bill to John McDonnell.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Your Red prick.* Jeremy is my leader, not some blogging hack who reposts his ephemera here each Lord’s Day. Frankly I am gobsmacked that you haven’t issued an edict, or other kind of ecumenical death ray in Lefty’s direction for “working” (Oh forgive my irreverent mirth) on a Sunday. Or are your despoilments spent after dalliances with the buxom and musicalogical housewaif?

    *sorry I missed out “Bisho”

    Liked by 1 person

  6. As literally a newcomer to progressive ways I and many others are in need of Jeremy’s and your wise guidance on what to do this Winterval ( that is literally what it is is it not? ) when confronted with vicious hard right fascist brexit voting relatives this year.
    I am facing having to visit or be visited by hordes of them.
    Do I ignore them or what? I would like to consign them to the oblivion of history or send them to a re education camp or otherwise punish them for literally destroying this country and putting the Hard right May Junta in power.
    This year thanks to you I have realised the truth and seen just how dreadful I was once. You and Jeremy have literally allowed many of us a second chance .
    Would that I could make or force my vile relations to see your truths. Like you I have a home planet where we live in harmony under the rule of the Great Beaver . He like Jeremy is infallible.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Can I find friends here? Europeans won’t eat with me and my colleagues criticize my taste in clothing and footware. Jeremy’s party seems so much more friendly.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Friend Trouser! Welcome to the new, kinder and gentler politics!

      All are welcome here, apart from Hard-Right neoliberal racist bigots who viciously hate Our EU, e.g. the Far-Right Kate Hoey, who I – literally – hate.

      For some reason, friend, you seem curiously familiar. But I guess it May [Groan!J.C.] just be my imagination.

      Like

    2. You`re looking lovely TrouserLady. We on the Far Left take pride in our Hillary Clinton Madame Mao pantsuits, and are happy to chew cigars and let the facial hair grow-which is why I have a hijab in a Che Guevara pattern.
      Doc Martens and cheroots behind the ears completes the look-and then we get behind our Leader above, and hold our pictures up of Barbara Roche and Angela Eagle…THIS is the look we seek..so welcome Comradette!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Begone varletette, do not darken my realm.

        Your fashion advice smells suspiciously fetid. As head of a major religion I can hardly berobe myself in the garb of another.

        The household guard are out searching for someone of your description.

        Give them a good time!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. You silly, silly little man. I’m not that arch-druidess May. Can’t be bothered with you now Lefty, I’m ouf to Scotland for the hols. But you can answer something that has been puzzling one, when I was a gal, your lot were always “comrade” this or “comrade” that, and the more enlighted of you called each other “brother” (or “Bro”). Why now all this “friend” malarkey?

    You may now refer to your bloggy site thingy with the words “By Disappointment”

    Like

  9. Friend Trouser! I have to tell you that I am growing more than a little weary of your increasing racism and neoliberalism.

    Regarding “Comrades” and “Brothers”, many of us on the Progressive Left have decided that the former sounds somewhat formal and dated, and the latter is of course totally sexist.

    “Friends” is so much more, well, friendly, Friend Trouser! And in any case, Jeremy started using the term last year, although for some inexplicable reason he seems not to be doing this any more. Here’s a link – those of us on the Progressive Left always like our “sources”:

    http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/staggers/2015/09/jeremy-corbyns-labour-party-conference-speech-2015-full-text

    Also, Jeremy referred to his friends in Hezbollah and Hamas as “friends”, although I gather that he now “regrets” describing these friends as “friends” now – because vicious Hard-Right elements then smeared him by claiming that, just because he called them “friends”, he actually regarded them as friends, which is plainly ridiculous.

    In this clip, he clarifies matters on the Far-Right Channel 4 news, in which he is viciously interrogated by the Hard-Right Krishnan Guru-Murthy, who attempts to smear him by quoting him:

    https://www.channel4.com/news/jeremy-corbyn-i-wanted-hamas-to-be-part-of-the-debate

    Like

  10. Ingrate. I bestow upon this miserable site the honourific of “By Disappointment” and also suggested my big-eared offspring do the same. So is there any gratitude? One is most pe-ed ouf.

    And you have the temerity to call me racist and neoliberal. On your knees knave. Grovel. The Tower can be made ready.

    Like

  11. NO-I will not have this sexist screeching between our Loving Leader and a lady who doubtless aspires to be Stalins granny as I do.
    Let`s agree-that “people are people so why should it be-that we should get along so awfull-ee”(Gospel of Gahan.D)…and that “No Matter what they tell you-what you believe is true”( Book of Gately.S).
    Here at ACAT…I have my whale music, aromatherapy oils and an urge to massage. Marx and Lenin prop up the relaxation table, and a samovar of Typhoo Trosky is available.
    Feel free to come by here at Lysenko Towers, and both sides of this dispute may yet be brought to the “Ebony and Ivory” Resolution…if not revolution via revelation.
    Uncle Joe seems to be crying in my dream catcher…ironically for a former Revolutionary Tiger Mother at the guillotine -I get all upset if people don`t agree….

    Liked by 1 person

  12. The far right dogsbody/our Ed (select as appropriate) has a new role as a Typhoid Mary, the fascist BBC reveals. A new party machine – Flulabour – has been conceived to spread the message/right wing contamination. First trying it out in the USA, our Ed was not recognized being deep undercover in front of the TV cameras. We suspect the turncoat is secretly trying out for a position in Trump’s cabinet – perhaps as a mug. Less for our Jeremy to be concerned about, he can concentrate more upon the real viruses within our glorious party – the Vauxhall Vixen – Kate Hoey

    Liked by 1 person

  13. May (I’ll rephrase that) I trust your turkey (or nut roast) will be literally moist and succulent, your stockings will be full, and unwanted friends or relatives go home early. Good wishes to literally all, even, at least temporarily, the fascist brethren who we strive against with all our might.

    The new year will see overwhelming victories for our leader Jeremy and all who sail in her.

    Liked by 1 person

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