Lefty’s Literally Best-Ever Songs Title Game Is Officially “On”, Friends! Please Join With Me In – Literally – Inserting The Word “Literally” In To – Literally – As Many Song Titles As You Can Literally Think Of, As The Number Of Song Titles With “Literally” In Them Is – Literally – Scandalously Miniscule, Friends!

Hello, friends.

And as you may have shrewdly inferred from the title of this Blog, I am more than a little disturbed [You said it, Lefty! – J.C. Oh Jeremy! Please quit making literally cheap jokes at my expense! – L.] at the sheer lack of songs in this Hard-Right world – and indeed elsewhere – that contain that literally favourite word of mine, i.e. – literally – “literally”!

And so, to help rectify this literally deplorable state of affairs, I am pleased and proud to announce that I am today – literally – launching Lefty’s Literally Best-Ever Song Titles Game, simultaneously – literally in stereo, friends! – here on the racist neoliberal Hard-Right WordPress, as well as on the Far-Right neoliberal racist Twitter!

Rules, friends!

Rules are strictly – and indeed literally –  for tiresome Hard-Right pedants, friends! But here are some Guidelines:

1. Insert the word “literally” in to song titles, but only if it makes sense. For instance, I Want To Literally Hold Your Hand is fine, whereas, e.g., Literally Michelle – literally – ain’t much good. (But see Rule Guideline 5, which shows a way of getting round the problem with the latter type of song.)
2. “Literally” can be used literally as many times as you want within any song title, if it works – e.g. Literally Everything She Literally Does Is Literally Magic.
3. “Literally” can be placed in different places in the same song, e.g. you could have a variant of the example in 1., viz I Literally Want to Hold Your Hand. Or, going on from the example in 2., you could have I Literally Want to Literally Hold Your Hand.
4. Using dashes (or, indeed, any kind of punctuation) for added impact is also fine, e.g. We Are – Literally – The Champions, as opposed to We Are Literally The Champions. Or even a mixture of the two, and indeed following on from point 2, We Are Literally The – Literally – Champions.
5. I am going to let you all – literally – “cheat” a bit, friends! Some song titles really aren’t – literally – capable of incorporating “literally”, so to expand the number of possible songs in this game, you may use a line from the song, provided the line includes the song title in it. For instance, ELO’s Livin’ Thing is not really a suitable title for adding “literally” to; but there are lines in it in which “literally” would literally go very well, e.g. “It’s a – literally –  livin’ thing! It’s a – literally – terrible thing to lose!”. 
6. Giving the artist’s name would be helpful, as one person’s famous song is another’s obscure number! But for anyone having to work within the Far-Right Twitter’s vicious 140-character limit, this Rule Guideline is generously waived, if necessary.
7. If the artist’s name is used, “Literally” may also be used in their name when it works, e.g. Literally The Police: Don’t Literally Stand So Literally Close To Me.
8. Any kind of song is permitted! (The lack of “literally’s” in songs is not literally confined to Far-Right pop songs, friends!) For instance, Hard-Right Classical Music fans are also encouraged to contribute, e.g. the viciously militaristic and imperialistic I Am – Literally – The Model Of A Modern Major General, or indeed, A Policeman’s Lot Is – Literally – Not A Happy One.
9. Album titles may also be used, e.g. Pink Floyd’s Wish You Were Literally Here, or Genesis’s The Lamb Literally Lies Down on Broadway .
10. There is no point 10, friends. [There doesn’t seem to be any point to this whole bloody thing, Lefty! – J.C. Oh Jeremy! Stop being such a literally damp squib! – L.]
11. It will not be assumed that using any particular song in this game means endorsement of it. For instance, I would not want anyone to think that, were I suddenly to literally blurt out You’re – Literally – Beautiful, this meant I was literally a fan of the Hard-Right Blunt. [Who’s Blunt, Lefty? Is he on our List Of Far-Right Red Tory Traitors For Deselection? – J.C. I’ll explain later, Jeremy. Am rather busy at the moment. – L.]
12. Feel free to re-use any of the examples given here if you wish, but obviously they will not be eligible for the prize (see below).
13. Anyone breaking any of the above Rules Guidelines, especially Rule Guideline 10, will be – literally – shot. (Only – literally – joking, friends!)

Prizes, friends!

The person who, in my – literally – totally impartial opinion, makes the best contribution(s) will win a free copy of my forthcoming tome, Lefty’s Literally Little Read Book Of Literally Literary Delights, personally rubber-stamped signed by Yours Truly.

My decision will be – literally – final. No appeal against it will be allowed, as the last thing this Blog needs is a whole load of literally appealing people, literally appealing against it.

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Let us literally *not* sing together, friends!

Friends, time is – literally – of the essence! We need to get this game – literally – off the ground as soon as possible!  So, if you’ll forgive me – and indeed, even if you literally won’t – let us literally skip our traditional sing-song today, and instead – literally – get down to the business of doing what this Blog has today set out to do, whatever it is (I have to confess, friends, that I have – literally – forgotten! My memory is – literally – not very good!).

So, friends, let’s – literally – get going!