My Piece In The Far-Right Guardian Today, In Which Amongst Other Things I Literally Stab Jeremy In The Back; And Also Suggest A New, Passionately Pro-Our EU, Strongly Progressive-Left, Leader For Labour, But Whose Name, Due To Sheer Modesty, I Cannot Literally Reveal, Friends!

Hello, friends.

And here is my (written under my Saveedmiliband nom de plume) most recent piece written in that notoriously Far-Right rag, the so-called Guardian! It was literally written in response to an article by Polly Toynbee, and as you can see, I have – literally – backed her to the hilt. (There’s a link below this piece to the original article and my comment, along with any replies.)

Hope you – literally – enjoy it, friends:

Labour MPs owe a duty to the country – not Corbyn’s absurd three-line whip

Very well said, Polly. I agree with literally everything you’ve written, whatever it was.

Friends! It cannot be denied that those of us on the Progressive Left – and there are still quite a few of us, friends, despite the tragic passing of so many of Our Celebrities in the past year, e.g. Our Fidel, the People’s Dictator – may have made a literally fatal mistake last summer, when we backed Jeremy against that notoriously Hard-Right Red Tory Traitor, the widely-unknown, widely-hated Owen Jones [It’s Smith, Saveed! J.C. Oh Jeremy! Let us not get bogged down in literally trivial neoliberal pedantry!S.].

Whatever can be said against the hated Jones – or Smith, or whatever his name happens to be – this much can be said in his favour: He is totally, utterly, in favour of Our EU! So much so, in fact, that he is prepared to literally lay down his life in defence of it!

Jeremy, by contrast, hardly seems to care about Our EU at all! And even though he has been a consistent supporter of it ever since he became Leader, I do sometimes get the impression that he secretly would be quite happy if Brexit happened!

Obviously, this cannot possibly be the case. But nonetheless, friends, just ask yourselves one question:

If Our Labour Party will not – literally – stand up for the poor, the vulnerable and the dispossessed in our society, e.g. Our President Juncker – the People’s President, as I like to call him – then what on earth is it for?

Our EU is under attack, friends!

Friends, vicious Hard-Right elements – e.g. George Galloway, Dennis Skinner and Arthur Scargill – claim that Our EU is nothing more than an undemocratic, bureaucratic, corrupt gravy train that is run purely for the benefit of the so-called “elites”, and at the expense of ordinary people, who are denied any say in how it is run!

Nonsense! The merits of the EU are multifarious, as well as being so obvious I hardly need to point them out, so I won’t.

So, friends, I have reluctantly concluded, with a literally heavy heart, that it is now time for Jeremy to stand down, to make way for a new Leader. Who should this new Leader be, I can hear you all ask [Voices in your head, eh, Saveed! You need help! J.C. Oh Jeremy! Don’t be literally silly! That was literally just a figure of speech! S.].

Ideal candidate, friends!

Well, friends, there is one candidate who – literally – fits the bill perfectly! His dedication to the Progressive Left cause is unquestionable, his literary skills are literally second to none, and, above all, his commitment to Our EU is unparalleled. He is popular, widely-loved and charismatic – and ready for the challenge!

I’m sure you all know who I’m talking about, friends! Only sheer modesty prevents me from mentioning his name. He might not have been able to save Ed [Groan!J.C.] or indeed Jeremy, but I am quite confident that he will be able to save the institution that all of us on the Progressive Left now regard as the most precious and important thing of all, even more so than Our NHS:

Namely, Our EU.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/jan/31/labour-mps-duty-corbyn-whip-brexit#comment-92239455

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7 thoughts on “My Piece In The Far-Right Guardian Today, In Which Amongst Other Things I Literally Stab Jeremy In The Back; And Also Suggest A New, Passionately Pro-Our EU, Strongly Progressive-Left, Leader For Labour, But Whose Name, Due To Sheer Modesty, I Cannot Literally Reveal, Friends!

    1. Friend Juliet! That sometimes happens, no idea why! (Normally, if the Graun takes my pieces down – which it hasn’t done for several months now – it’s within an hour of publication.) Just tried it, and it worked OK for me. But in case it still doesn’t work for you, here’s a link to my profile page there, from which you should be able to go to my original piece plus comments:

      https://profile.theguardian.com/user/id/14081740?page=1

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Soon Ron and me will be literally forced to choose. Follow our Jeremy or recognise you as our leader. Will Jeremy become Trotsky to your Stalin?Is he doomed to an icepick future.? Be assured that we are literally loyal to your greatness.. We love our Eu and now hate the hater Corbyn. We are truly literally madly insane in a progressive frenzy of hate for Corbyn and the hated Singer.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are so very, very kind Letfly but I couldn’t possibly stand, and who would guard my bridge?
    So my allegiance remains with our Jeremy, and my allergy to you foul Saveed (with a name like that you wouldn’t be allowed into ‘merica).
    With your recent denunciation of religion on this site I wonder how his (Pre)lateness will jump?

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Who or what is this “pingback” character that repeatedly interrupts the flow of our discourse with references to your past tat? Have you recruited penguins now to mingle with your legions of typing chimpanzees to give your missives more SüdlichenCharakter?

    Liked by 2 people

  4. “SupportOurLefty @SupportOurLefty
    Friends! I literally didn’t get a wink of sleep last night!
    I just lay there, sobbing uncontrollably at the thought of Hard-Right Brexit”

    Send her flowers and chocolates, you chump!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Fiend Singer! Thank you for your advice which I shall – literally – take under advisement.

    And congratulations for your reply to Friend Brian – you will literally appear in the Hard-Right Strongbow Book Of Records for the longest time taken ever in replying to someone else’s post on this Progressive Left Blog.

    Like

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