My Piece In Today’s Far-Right Guardian About Why We On The Progressive Left Are Naturally Happy People, Unlike Miserable Hard-Right Fascists Who Literally Have No Friends, Friends!

Hello, friends.

And I’m happy [Groan!J.C.] to say that a piece that I’ve written in today’s Far-Right Guardian appears to have escaped the attention of their Hard-Right censors, who you may remember viciously deleted my piece the other day, for reasons that still puzzle me.

Today’s piece is, as you may have shrewdly deduced, on the subject of happiness, which of course those of us on the Progressive Left know a great deal about, given our general joie de vrie, unlike Hard-Right haters who, experts have recently calculated, spend literally 26.4 hours per day just thinking about how they can make some of the poorest, weakest and most vulnerable people, e.g. Our Junior Doctors, in our society – which, never let it be forgotten, friends, Thatcher first denied the existence of, and then totally destroyed – pay for Tory Austerity, e.g. by literally slashing dangerous Climate Change.

As ever, a link to the original article and my comment, along with any replies, is provided below.

Come on, this is Britain – we don’t like to be too happy

Friends! Fortunately for those of us on the Progressive Left – and there are still quite a few of us left [Groan!J.C.] despite the tragic passing of Our Fidel, the People’s Dictator, last November, and now Our Martin, the People’s Terrorist – there is rather a lot to be happy about!

First of all, we know that Hard-Right Tory Brexit will literally not happen, because (1) Our Gina will be taking court action to prevent it, and (2) Our Professor Grayling has promised that it won’t! So that’s – literally – one in the eye for that tiny handful of 17,410,742 bigoted people who viciously refused to do what they were told, last June!

Secondly, we know that people are literally sick and tired of this totally unelected Tory Government, as proved by a recent opinion poll in which, following the hated Hammond’s vicious so-called Budget, the Tory lead has been slashed to only 19 points or so.

Thirdly, and most important of all, there is also the fact, verified by 127% of Happiness Experts – and we on the Progressive Left always listen to experts, friends, unlike Hard-Right, literally Fascist, elements, e.g. Gove – that those of us with, dare I say, a rather more open-minded and enlightened outlook than certain people – e.g. that bigoted woman, the hated Duffy – tend to be much happier people than vicious Far-Right Fascists who read literally Fascist rags like the Daily Fail, and who spend their whole time ranting about things they know literally nothing about!

Unlike them, we are not mean-spirited, grudging people who don’t have a good word to say about anyone or anything! Au contraire, we love ourselves, because we know that, if you can’t love yourself, then it is – literally – impossible to love yourself.

So, friends, be of – literally – good cheer! We have nothing to fear but this totally unelected Tory Government, the totally unelected Trump, and Hard-Right Brexit itself, which in any case hasn’t happened yet.


12 thoughts on “My Piece In Today’s Far-Right Guardian About Why We On The Progressive Left Are Naturally Happy People, Unlike Miserable Hard-Right Fascists Who Literally Have No Friends, Friends!

  1. Can’t be bothered (not really the word I wanted to use, but you never know if the midgets are reading) to reply. The will to live drains away when even more drivel arrives on my kindle via that font of wisdom – the berliner-sized Guardian.
    Happiness; happiness is a Jeroboam (or better still a Nebuchadnezzar) of Jamiesons, but even that fails on Sundays (known in the environs of my bridge as tatdays).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Enough of the midgetphobia Singer! You will be pleased to hear that reports are coming in that the large and comely ( to some eyes ) Estelle her of the lodging house for progressive pilgrims in a village close to Hereford is travelling to Merthyr Tydfil carrying the remains of our Jeremy’s statue.
    This is wonderful news for my mate Ron who not only will see again the lady of his desires but have his greatest work of sculpture returned.
    I hope that makes you happy .

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Daffyd, how’s the dumpster these days?
    Oh I am ecstatic, my joyfulness is unbounded, my cup runneth over (if I’d let it, but I don’t waste good Jamiesons) and I am in eighth heaven (one more for us bridge singers). One less socialistic and hedonistic nutter in England. I do regret the loss of the iconic bronze torso, that it is unlikely to be reunited with its nether regions, but Ron’s happiness comes third.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Singer the dumpster is fine and a tribute to the heroes of 1917. Hammers,sickles and stars. Our Lenin and our Stalin would have been proud.
    Ron has determind that the statue of our Jeremy will be rebuilt in all it’s glory and painted gold so that it will literally shine over the town from it”s new site (yet to be decided upon by the immaculately progressive Derek Pufflet and his favourite midget.
    You will also be pleased to hear that Igor has beaten my need dustcart stealing out of me .
    I am watched day and night by a team of imported midgets from Pontypridd under the wise guidance of little Dimitri ( 4ft 6 inches of progressive neo Bolshevik fervour) .
    We await the arrival of Estelle and bits of our Jeremy with excitement .
    We who fortunately are on the right side of history .

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Merthyr Tydvil brethren. Are you sure you have the correct word. My wyre-ferret reports they were impotent midgets, not imported ones. Dimetri is well served.

    Ron is wrong to paint his statue gold, it will be a banksters statue and will be spat upon by the oppressed masses. I have an alternative, bring the torso to my bridge and I will erect it at the approaches. It will be matched with burnished machine-turned steel appendages to remind seekers of truth (and drinkers of the finest Jamiesons) of their proletarian origins.

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    1. You will be pleased to hear that the remains of our Jeremy’s statue may have met a sad fate. The gorgeous -to Ron at least_- Estelle took a bus from Brecon to Merthyr which broke down some 12 miles from the latter place. The lovely lady decided to hitch such was her haste to be reunited with Ron but the cattle truck that stopped was driven by a suspected hard rightist who refused to have our Jeremy in the cab.
      His remains were placed by the side of the road and despite a search carried out by Pufflet’s midgets have vanished. So has Estelle.
      So has the truck and some of us here suspect that Estelle was a hard right plant or a Trot which is worse.
      Or she could just have run off with the truck driver a common occurance in this part of the world I believe .

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Gee, it’s like a Tolstoy novel, will there be shootings and grand balls?
    Fear not Merthyr Tyd-villains, the torso is safe. My wyreferrets found it by th side of the road, and consulting the highway code, determined it to be jetsom and commandeered it. It was also scaring little children coming home from chapel. It’s on its way to my secret headquarters, where I will clean it with leftover Creme-de-Menthe. We anticipate a grand opening ceremony sometime in August, once the new stainless steel appendages have been forged in China. All will be invited, but their will be a smallish charge.
    Rejoice with us!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. So sorry to hear that “Pufflet’s midgets have vanished”. Perhaps they have grown up.
    You do seem to have developed a habit of losing things.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Merthyr Tyd-villains,
    who knew Creme-de-Menthe could be so corrosive? Jeremy’s left pectorals now look like a doily, whereas larger holes elsewhere have made Ron’s masterpiece look like a Salvador Dalyesque nightmare. It is magnificent, and fascist Brexiteers will tremble at its holy aspect. With a red light inside, it will send out its socialist imagery for all to marvel at. It will be a beacon for the left, pro-EU, anti Tory masses, and a bastion against foreign interventionism. Trump is not welcome on my bridge, but neither is ppppPutin or his agents provocateur who have infested the Valleys.
    A visit from the well intentioned would be most welcome. Midgets half-price.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. The theft of our Jeremy is an assault upon all progressives . Derek Pufflet has declared you outlawed and henceforth liable to summary justice . The midgets are enraged beyond reason as is Ron himself who has had to be sedated.
    Neo Bolshevism is a hard road to follow .

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Merthyr Tyd-Villians,
    Jeremy’s statue will become a WHS(SoD) [World Heritage Site (Socialist Division]. The Worshipful Company of Tat Providers will do their thing and fridge-magnets of our Daliesque Jeremy will spread throughout the land.

    The contract with the Chinese has been abandoned. Preliminary sketches of his replacement head had a strange oriental appearance – a sort of mashup of our Jeremy and Paramount Leader Mao Zedong. This they refused to correct. The fascist Chinese lackeys also refused to equip our Jeremy’s leg replacements with bicycle clips. We are now negotiating with Indian fascists to use the Port Talbot foundry. Ron could then easily coordinate.

    Do not spread evil rumours of me or my faithful wyreferrets being thieves. Our rescue of the bronze torso was entirely legitimate and sanctioned by Art 107d of the Highway Code. Art 107d comes immediately after the section on gathering road kill, which I believe you have used to decimate the wildlife of the Valleys (and not including a not inconsiderable number of sheep). Any more of this calumny (or whatever) and I’ll send the wyreferrets back. They can do more than just gather. One of my wyreferrets down the trouser can cause significant damage and pain. Do not subject your midgets to this fate.

    Derik Puffinette is delusional. How can he render one such as myself an outlaw? By definition I am one since birth. He is a busted reed, a broken flush.

    Liked by 1 person

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