And I’m happy [Groan! – J.C.] to say that a piece that I’ve written in today’s Far-Right Guardian appears to have escaped the attention of their Hard-Right censors, who you may remember viciously deleted my piece the other day, for reasons that still puzzle me.
Today’s piece is, as you may have shrewdly deduced, on the subject of happiness, which of course those of us on the Progressive Left know a great deal about, given our general joie de vrie, unlike Hard-Right haters who, experts have recently calculated, spend literally 26.4 hours per day just thinking about how they can make some of the poorest, weakest and most vulnerable people, e.g. Our Junior Doctors, in our society – which, never let it be forgotten, friends, Thatcher first denied the existence of, and then totally destroyed – pay for Tory Austerity, e.g. by literally slashing dangerous Climate Change.
As ever, a link to the original article and my comment, along with any replies, is provided below.
Come on, this is Britain – we don’t like to be too happy
Friends! Fortunately for those of us on the Progressive Left – and there are still quite a few of us left [Groan! – J.C.] despite the tragic passing of Our Fidel, the People’s Dictator, last November, and now Our Martin, the People’s Terrorist – there is rather a lot to be happy about!
First of all, we know that Hard-Right Tory Brexit will literally not happen, because (1) Our Gina will be taking court action to prevent it, and (2) Our Professor Grayling has promised that it won’t! So that’s – literally – one in the eye for that tiny handful of 17,410,742 bigoted people who viciously refused to do what they were told, last June!
Secondly, we know that people are literally sick and tired of this totally unelected Tory Government, as proved by a recent opinion poll in which, following the hated Hammond’s vicious so-called Budget, the Tory lead has been slashed to only 19 points or so.
Thirdly, and most important of all, there is also the fact, verified by 127% of Happiness Experts – and we on the Progressive Left always listen to experts, friends, unlike Hard-Right, literally Fascist, elements, e.g. Gove – that those of us with, dare I say, a rather more open-minded and enlightened outlook than certain people – e.g. that bigoted woman, the hated Duffy – tend to be much happier people than vicious Far-Right Fascists who read literally Fascist rags like the Daily Fail, and who spend their whole time ranting about things they know literally nothing about!
Unlike them, we are not mean-spirited, grudging people who don’t have a good word to say about anyone or anything! Au contraire, we love ourselves, because we know that, if you can’t love yourself, then it is – literally – impossible to love yourself.
So, friends, be of – literally – good cheer! We have nothing to fear but this totally unelected Tory Government, the totally unelected Trump, and Hard-Right Brexit itself, which in any case hasn’t happened yet.