And I expect you’re all as pleased as I am that Jeremy has now clearly condemned the appalling events that are taking place in the former Our Venezuela, which until recently was a Socialist Paradise, but has now been totally ruined by Far-Right elements – e.g. that bigoted woman, the hated Duffy – opposing Our Free and Fair Elections, in which many Progressive Left elements voted several times, such was their enthusiasm for Our Maduro!
And yet Hard-Right elements STILL claim that “Jeremy hasn’t condemned the Government oppression of protesters”, which is totally unfair, as he’s been condemning this totally unelected Tory Government ever since it was first totally unelected!
Saudi Arabia, friends!
And talk about hypocrisy, friends! What about Saudi Arabia? [What about it, Lefty? – J.C. Oh Jeremy! Don’t ask me! It’s just something that we on the Progressive Left always mention when you’re criticised over Venezuela! And, after all, it’s the one Islamic country we’re allowed to criticise without being accused of Islamophobia. – L.] What about Grenfell? Foodbanks? Zero-hour contracts? The destruction of Our NHS? Brexit? No wonder literally nobody wants to come and live in Britain, friends!
Anyway, enough of all this in-depth analysis of recent political developments [Ha! – J.C.]. Here’s the latest instalment of Saveed’s Greatest Hit-ettes: three pieces I wrote in the Far-Right Guardian last October. As ever, a link to the original article and my comment, along with any replies, is provided under each piece.
From Marmite to the royal yacht, Britain is now a global joke (article by Marina Hyde, 14.10.16)
Wonderfully witty piece, Marina, which literally had me in stitches! And to think that there are Hard-Right elements who claim that those of us on the Progressive Left – and there are many of us, friends, e.g. me – have no sense of humour!
Britain is indeed literally a total joke, friends! Literally everyone from outside this country who I’ve met since that dark day of 23rd June, literally falls about laughing if even the subject of this so-called country – which, never let it be forgotten, friends, Thatcher totally destroyed – is so much as mentioned in passing.
It really is depressing, friends, that a tiny handful of 17,410,742 Hard-Right bigots and racists – who represent literally nobody but themselves – can literally tarnish a nation’s reputation in this way. HOW DARE they vote against Our EU in this way, friends? I am literally outraged by their vicious behaviour!
Fortunately, friends, there is one consolation in this literally tragic state of affairs. Britain still has Our NHS, which is the one thing that makes everyone in the world, and indeed elsewhere, literally green with envy, despite the fact that this totally unelected Tory Government has totally destroyed it (the NHS, I mean) by privatisation, i.e. forcing it to operate a totally unnecessary 7-day service, which it already does in any case.
And then Far-Right elements, e.g. the BBC, wonder why those of us on the Progressive Left are – literally – revolting!
The public are already turning against Brexit. When will Theresa May listen? (article by Polly Toynbee, 20.10.16)
Well said, Polly.
Those of us in the Remain Camp have ample grounds for quiet satisfaction, as all our forecasts before June 23rd – e.g. total economic collapse, a literally worthless £, accelerating Far-Right Climate Change, World War III, higher roaming charges all over the world and indeed elsewhere, and the threat of several redundancies in Our Brussels – have literally come true with a vengeance. And to think that there are still deluded fools who doubt the veracity of expert forecasters’ predictions!
Furthermore, friends, the encouraging news is that, should plans for Hard-Right Brexit not be abandoned in the very near future, things are going to get a lot, lot worse! (Fingers crossed, eh!)
All the highly-reliable polling evidence carried out by independent and impartial experts – e.g. me – now indicates that practically every single one of that tiny handful of 17,410,742 Hard-Right bigots and racists who viciously voted against Our EU in June, now bitterly regrets their misguided decision, and wishes only that this totally-unelected Tory Government – with opinion polls showing clearly that 53% of voters are utterly opposed to them – would just call off the MADNESS of Brexit, which in any case no-one would have voted for had it not been for the Leave Campaign’s vicious LIES about literally giving Our NHS an extra £350 billion every single second of every single minute of every single day from June 24th onwards, should there be a vote for Leave – LIES which, incidentally, were literally calculated to win the hearts and minds of Far-Right racists and bigots.
No wonder those of us in the Remain Camp – and there are many of us, friends, e.g. Anna Soubry, Lord Mandelson, Polly herself and me – are revolting!
Brexit: leading banks set to pull out of UK early next year (report, 22.10.16)
Friends! Those of us on the Progressive Left are literally heartbroken by the literally tragic news that Our Bankers and Our Banks will all be literally leaving Britain next year!
And all because a tiny handful of 17,410,742 Hard-Right bigots and racists – who, friends, represent absolutely nobody but themselves – viciously voted against Our EU in June!
Most of these ignorant racists only voted against Our EU because they literally swallowed the LIES of the Leave Camp, e.g. the literally outrageous LIE that, should there be a vote for Leave on 23rd June, then from 24th June, £350 million extra would be spent on our NHS literally every day. And, like all the other LIES of the Leave Camp, that particular promise is now literally in tatters!
In other words, the whole Leave vote was based on LIES, friends! And as a result of these LIES, this country – which Thatcher totally destroyed – is about to lose Our Banks and Our Bankers, which as those of us on the Progressive Left have always argued, are the envy of the world, and indeed elsewhere.
Since the Leave vote was, as I may just have mentioned, based on LIES, surely the whole Referendum result should be declared literally null and void? Let us just quietly drop this whole “Brexit” nonsense – whether it is literally “Hard” or “Soft” – and instead work with our friends in Europe, whose ability to work successfully with other countries, e.g. Canada, is legendary.
Let us literally say “Hello” to Hope and a very literally firm “Goodbye” to Hate, friends! That is, after all, the Progressive Left way, which BTW must surely explain at least in part the sheer amount of electoral success that we on the Left have had in the UK over the past few years.