And here is yet another instalment of my comments in the Far-Right Guardian! Only four more to go! [Four more too many, in my opinion, Lefty! – J.C. Oh Jeremy! Stop being a wet elephant in the room that never forgets that it’s wearing no clothes, and which is in fact a Far-Right Lone Trojan Wolf disguised as a paper tiger that’s hiding behind the bolted stable door in a collapsing house of cards! – L. Can’t make head or tail of that, Lefty! – J.C. Come to think, Jeremy, nor can I! – L.]
Anyway, here are the pieces, all from December last year. As ever, a link to the original article and my comment, along with any replies, is provided under each piece.
‘Lonely Theresa May’ video at EU summit is Brexit in a nutshell (16.12.16)
Friends! This video should be compulsory viewing for every single one of the 17,410,742 Hard-Right racists and bigots who viciously voted against Our EU in June!
In addition to all the other disasters which have literally befallen this so-called country – which Thatcher destroyed – in the six months since that literally dark day, this one literally takes the biscuit! The Emergency Budget with its tax rises and spending cuts, the devastated economy, the plunging stockmarket, the literally worthless £, the enormous hike in roaming charges, even World War III … all these appalling consequences – correctly forecast even if not all of them have not yet come to pass (Brexit hasn’t actually happened yet, friends!) – literally pale by comparison with the fact that the hated May was totally shunned by Our EU friends today!
Seeing the Far-Right Bullingdon Bully Boy May utterly humiliated by Our EU friends was simultaneously hysterically funny for those of us on the Progressive Left – who are, of course, notorious for our great sense of humour – but also, of course, deeply, deeply tragic for Britain. This country has now become – literally – the laughing stock of the world, and indeed elsewhere!
Needless to say, certain Hard-Right elements are predictably claiming that Our EU friends were being “spiteful and petty”. Nonsense! They were simply behaving as any normal friends do, when their very reasonable orders have been totally disobeyed.
Fortunately, there is a very simple solution to this dreadful situation. The hated May should simply announce that the whole idea of Brexit was the most appalling mistake, and beg Our EU friends for forgiveness. A few token gestures, e.g. increasing our budget contribution by another £10 billion/year or so, should help to soothe the bad feelings; and of course, since as all objective and respected economics experts – i.e. me – have in any case recently produced figures showing that for every £1 we pay in, we get at least £1000 back in terms of economic growth, we would actually gain from this.
So, friends: let us just cancel Hard-Right Brexit, along with all the vicious LIES about spending £350 trillion/day more on Our NHS – another Leave Camp LIE! – and work together with Our EU friends to build A People’s Europe, where all Hard-Right populism will be totally smashed, and all decisions will be made by experts, whose impartiality and accuracy cannot be questioned – or, at least, not without serious consequences for those who question them.
Labour MPs deny Jeremy Corbyn stormed out of Christmas party (18.12.16)
Friends! Claiming that Jeremy “stormed out of a Christmas Party” is just another predictably vicious smear against Jeremy by the – literally – Far-Right Guardian.
Let me set the record – literally – straight.
Nothing of the sort happened, and in any case, it has been – literally – taken totally out of context.
New post-Brexit landscape could squeeze Labour out, warns new report (23.12.16)
Friends! There are four things that Labour must do to regain the support of working people (e.g. students and the unemployed):
1. We must move sharply to the Left. The neoliberal paradigm has utterly failed, and must be replaced with Socialism on the lines of that remarkably successful country, Our Venezuela in which obscene private wealth – indeed, any kind of wealth whatsoever – has been totally abolished.
2. In order to enable 1., we must now – literally – wipe out all the Far-Right Red Tory Traitors – e.g. most of the PLP – who infest our Party, by dint of deselection. (No Right of Appeal can be allowed for these miscreants, as a Party full of appealing people is the last thing we on the Left need at this particular moment in time.)
3. We must campaign whole-heartedly against Hard-Right Brexit, which is opposed not merely by Our 48%, but also by an increasing number of the literally tiny handful of 17,410,742 racist bigots who viciously voted against Our EU in June, but who now realise that all the Leave Campaign’s LIES about (and we all remember that Hard-Right Bus, don’t we, friends?) £350 trillion extra per day for Our NHS – a LIE, friends! – effectively immediately from June 24th, was actually a great big LIE, and who would now switch their vote to Remain.
4. Above all, friends, we must remember that the Labour Party is bigger than any of us – even me – and it is only by courageously implementing in full my very wise proposals here that Labour can ensure a landslide election result, whenever the cowardly Bullingdon Bully Boy May dares to call it!