And I expect you’re all looking forward to Our Vince’s speech to Our LibDems this afternoon as much as I am, aren’t you, friends? Hard-Right elements claim that Our Vince’s claim that he “could be Prime Minister” is delusional – but just remember this: these are exactly the same people who, just four months ago, also claimed that Jeremy “won’t be Prime Minister after June 8th!” Where are they – literally – now, eh, friends?
Anyway, enough of all this in-depth psephological analysis [Ha! – J.C. Oh Jeremy! Stop being such a literally damp squib! – L.]. Here’s the latest instalment of Saveed’s Greatest Hit-ettes: two pieces I wrote in the Far-Right Guardian last November. As ever, a link to the original article and my comment, along with any replies, is provided under each piece.
Brexit so complex it could overwhelm politicians, warn senior academics (2.11.16)
Friends! This highly objective report literally proves what those of us in the Remain Camp have been saying ever since that literally dark day of June 23rd, when a tiny handful of 17,410,742 of Hard-Right bigots – who, friends, represent literally nobody but themselves – viciously voted against Our EU.
Friends, leaving Our EU would not just be literally a disaster – look at what has happened to the British economy just as a result of the June 23rd vote! It has literally tanked! – but, put at its absolute simplest so that it can be understood by even the meanest intelligence, e.g. me, it would be far too complicated!
Although the vicious claim that Our EU has imposed lots of laws on the UK since we joined in 1973 is as big a LIE as all the LIES of the Leave Camp (anyone else remember the “£350 billion per minute extra for Our NHS from 24th June, if there is a Leave vote? Another Leave Camp LIE!), nonetheless the literally thousands of laws – all completely necessary, of course – that we have taken on board since joining Our EU will need to be dealt with, one way or another. (Heaven forfend that any of them could simply be repealed! That would literally be neoliberalism gone crazy!)
I have a proposal, instead. Why don’t the Leave Camp now just come clean and admit that all the LIES they told during the Referendum Campaign – which, by the way, they never seem to tire of re-fighting, even though they clearly lost, at least in a strictly moral sense – were, quite simply LIES?
Why don’t they admit that, for instance, any immigration controls are inherently racist, and therefore should be abolished?
That it is literally impossible to trade with any country in the world – and indeed elsewhere – without the permission of Our EU Commissioners?
That it is a complete LIE to say that Britain pays *anything* in to the EU Budget, given that – as all leading experts, e.g. me, have conclusively demonstrated – for every £1 that we pay in, we receive at least £1000 back, in terms of economic growth?
That the only people fit to run this so-called country – which Thatcher totally destroyed – are Our EU Commissioners, whose democratic credentials are as impeccable as their honesty and their competence?
Let us now all admit, friends, that a huge MISTAKE was made in June by some poor (literally! Uneducated oiks doesn’t even begin to describe them!) deluded racist fools, who simply didn’t understand what they were voting for!
And let us now plead with Our EU for forgiveness, and beg with them to allow us to remain as members! And if they are so graceful as to accede to our request, let us then thank them by increasing our current Budget contribution from the current, miserable level of £10 billion/year net – or whatever it is! Whatever it is, it is far too low! – to something a lot more substantial. Away with Hard-Right Tory Austerity, friends! Let us invest in Our EU!
That, friends, would be the truly fair, democratic and Progressive way to proceed, and as such is commended by all leading fair-minded, heavyweight and objective commentators, i.e. me.
High court says parliament must vote on triggering article 50 – as it happened (3.11.16)
Friends! This is the most joyful day for those of us in the Remain Camp since that literally dark day in June, when a tiny handful of 17,410,742 bigots – who literally represent absolutely nobody but themselves – viciously voted against Our EU!
Thank goodness for Our High Court’s principled stance against Hard-Right Mob Rule, friends! We really cannot have incredibly complicated decisions, e.g. on who governs us, to be made by an ignorant rabble of uneducated racists.
Those of us in the Remain Camp are only asking that the final decision to overturn Hard-Right Brexit should be democratically taken by Our MPs, whose unimpeachable integrity and wisdom cannot ever possibly be gainsaid.
Personally – and this is literally my personal view, friends – I think it would actually be much better if the decision to stay in Our EU were to be taken by Our Judges, who being so much wiser and impartial than MPs – who, after all, are often swayed by short-term electoral considerations – could be relied upon to take the correct decision.
But as long as the decision about Our EU is not made by members of the electorate who – as June 23rd clearly demonstrated – have an irrational passion for out-dated and indeed racist concepts such as “sovereignty” and, even worse, “democracy”, then I will reluctantly acquiesce in Our MPs’ decision to abandon this whole vicious Brexit nonsense, providing they can implement it as speedily as possible.
Otherwise, we, the 48% – who, let it never be forgotten, are the majority (other than in the tiresomely pedantic, mathematical sense) – will have to appeal to Our European Court of Human Rights, to uphold the Human Rights of Us, the 48%, to Remain in Our EU, which have been literally trampled underfoot by this totally unelected Tory Government.