Lefty’s Sunday Selection Of Tweets, 14th-27th May

Hello, friends.

And I expect you’ve all noticed  that, since my resumption of tweeting last Monday, the Tory lead over Labour has been – literally – slashed! Could these two events be in any way related, I can hear you all ask? [No!J.C. Oh Jeremy! Why do you always have to be such a literally damp squib? Are you as excited as I am about your forthcoming move in to 10 Downing Street in less than 2 weeks’ time, by the way?L. No comment! J.C.].

Well, friends, as I’m sure you all realise, sheer modesty prevents me from answering that particular question! But one thing is certain: the effect of my Progressive Left tweets and this Blog on British politics is – literally – immeasurable. [So immeasurable, in fact, Lefty, that nobody has ever bothered to measure it!J.C. Oh Jeremy! I am growing more than a little weary of your literally cheap jokes at my expense! Kindly – literally – buzz off!L.]

Anyway, enough of all this Hard-Right banter [Some mistake, surely, Lefty? J.C. Oh Jeremy! Don’t be so literally literal-minded!L.]. Here’s the latest batch of tweets:

Sunday 14th May

(Hard Break for 8 days)

Monday 22nd May

Tuesday 23rd May

Wednesday 24th May

Thursday 25th May

A tweet about a certain Rufus Hound’s conspiracy theory. 

And after he deleted it … someone kindly captured a screen-shot, which can be found in the first reply to this tweet:

Friday 26th May

Saturday 27th May

Saveed Miliband’s “Guardian” Pieces, Part 14: Three Pieces On Brexit From May [Groan! – J.C. Oh Jeremy! That Wasn’t Even Intended To Be A Pun! – L.] 2016

Hello, friends.

And here for your delectation [Yeah right!J.C. Oh Jeremy! Don’t be such a literally wet blanket! By the way, congratulations on getting the Tory lead down to only 9pts in the latest Survation poll! How big do you think Labour’s majority will be on June 9th, by the way? L. No comment!J.C.] is my latest instalment of Saveed Miliband’s old pieces from the Far-Right Guardian, all from May last year.

All three pieces are about Brexit, which as you may recall was a – literally – burning issue a year ago, although, strangely enough, the terms “Hard Brexit” and “Soft Brexit” did not ever seem to be employed then. I really cannot imagine why not – can you?

As ever, a link to the original article and my comment, along with any replies, is provided under each piece.

The luvvies’ Brexit letter only shows most people vote with their wallets (article by Simon Jenkins, 20.5.16)

Typical crazy neoliberalism from Simon Jenkins, who should be ashamed of himself for writing this particular Hate Article, which is a totally cynical and disgraceful attack on some of the finest and most upstanding people in this so-called society of ours, which Thatcher first denied the existence of, and then destroyed.

We should be immensely grateful to these 250 celebrities, who have clearly spent a great deal of time carefully, methodically and objectively sifting through all the evidence, generously provided for us all, free of charge, by those fine statespersons Messrs Cameron and Osborne, that leaving Our EU would be the greatest possible catastrophe ever known to this country, with World War 3, mass genocide, famine, accelerating Climate Change, literally billions of job losses and higher roaming charges being just a few of the milder consequences.

And given, friends, the superior knowledge and expertise of Our Celebrities to that of the rest of us on these matters, are we really arguing that they should remain silent about the terrifying events that will befall the UK on the 24th of June should we foolishly ignore their advice?

These gallant 250 people have now laid before us their unanimous findings, reached by every single one of them independently and without even the slightest thought of their own self-interests; and we should surely treat their findings with the respect that they merit. After all, friends, let us not forget that all they are selflessly trying to do is avoid the unimaginable series of utter catastrophes that would surely befall this world, and indeed elsewhere, from this tiny, inconsequential little island, which could not possibly survive on its own, leaving Our EU.

Let us, friends, now decide unanimously to ignore the cynics, the naysayers, the n’er do well’s, the Little Englanders, the racists and the knockers, and back Our Celebrities by voting for Our EU on June 23rd!



Economists overwhelmingly reject Brexit in boost for Cameron (survey, 28.5.16)

Friends, the only surprise in this news is that the proportion of economists forecasting a negative outcome for the UK economy, as a result of Brexit, is not a lot larger.

In my own survey of economists – carried out independently with the aid of a grant from the EU which, of course, didn’t influence their findings in any way whatsoever – well over 110% of them warned of the utter catastrophe that would befall the UK economy, should the British people have the effrontery to vote for Brexit.

As we all know, friends, economists are notorious for their reliability of their forecasts. If you doubt my word on this, just remember – for instance – the sheer number of economists who issued warnings about the danger of the UK joining the Exchange Rate Mechanism in the early 1990s, which is rivalled only by the number of economists who foresaw the Great Crash of 2008.

And, friends, these are just two examples of the truly astonishing ability of economists to foresee the future. And therefore, when making a decision as momentous as this one, surely we should treat economists, and their forecasts, with the respect they truly deserve?



There’s nothing a Brexiter loves more than a good conspiracy (article by Nick Cohen, 29.5.16)

Well said, Nick.

We on the Remain side are, of course, the positive people.

We have pointed out the positive and self-evident truth: that the consequences of this tiny, insignificant, helpless little island leaving the EU will be utterly catastrophic, with World War III, total collapse of the global economic system, mass famine, accelerating Climate Change and higher roaming charges being just a few of the more trivial results of Brexit.

And what has the response of the Leave camp been? Total negativity! They deny these self-evident truths, despite the weight of informed opinion which, as Nick points out, is as reliable as it is impartial.

Fortunately, though, in the unlikely situation that the British people are so foolish as to vote Leave on 23rd June, they can rest assured that we Remainers will be generous enough to acknowledge the grave mistake they have made, and allow them – as we True Europeans have always done, in whichever EU country has made the mistake of voting the wrong way – a second opportunity to vote for Remain.

Indeed, so great is our munificence, we shall give the British people as many opportunities as they need, in order to achieve the right result which is – as all of us in the know, know – an overwhelming vote for Remain.



Lefty’s Sunday Selection Of Tweets, 7th-13th May

Hello, friends.

First, an announcement: I’m taking a break from Tweeting and also this Blog, from today until Monday 22nd May.

Soft, friends!

I had originally hoped that this would be a Soft Break, whereby I would actually be able to continue Tweeting, Blogging etc., as most normal people would do during a break.

Hard, friends!

But alas, owing to the widely-hated, totally unelected Bullingdon Bully Boy May’s vicious claim that “A break means a break”, I shall have to break [Groan!J.C.] the habit of a lunchtime, and refrain from these activities totally. Which will, of course – literally – devastate the so-called British economy, which Thatcher totally destroyed.

Tory Austerity, friends!

Hey ho, friends! This break was booked before the Hard-Right May viciously called this so-called General Election, which literally nobody wants.

I do hope you’ll be able to manage without my Progressive Left musings [Ha!J.C.] for the next 8 days, friends. In the meantime, here are last week’s Tweets:


Sunday 7th May

Monday 15th May

Tuesday 9th May

Wednesday 10th May

Thursday 11th May

Friday 12th May

Saturday 13th May

Lefty’s Sunday Selection Of Tweets, 30th April-7th May

Hello, friends.

And I expect you’re all still busy celebrating Labour’s – literally – outstanding results in last Thursday’s Hard-Right Local Elections, in which we managed to hang on to quite a few seats, despite all the efforts of the Murdoch-controlled Monopoly Media, e.g. Our Far-Right BBC, whose anti-Progressive Left, pro-Brexit bias is obvious to anyone with half a brain cell, e.g. me!

And yet Hard-Right elements, e.g. the so-called Guardian, STILL claim that “Labour’s not necessarily going to win the General Election”! Talk about – literally – delusional!

Complacency, friends!

Of course, friends, there is no room for complacency! Labour’s massive majority on June 8th is not a – literally – dead cert!  So great is the Tories’ desperation, they’ll doubtless be launching a  smear campaign against Jeremy soon, i.e. quoting his past speeches, which have been viciously taken out of context. Still, we’re used to that by now, aren’t we friends? [Well as it happens, I’m not, Lefty!J.C. Oh Jeremy! Don’t be so literally thin-skinned! The attacks on you so far are as nothing compared with what they’ll be like once you become Prime Minister!L. No comment!J.C.]

Anyway, here are last week’s tweets:

Sunday 30th April

Monday 1st May

Tuesday 2nd May

Wednesday 3rd May

Thursday 4th May

Friday 5th May

Saturday 6th May

Sunday 7th May

Why Voting Labour Should Be Made Compulsory, Friends! My Piece In Today’s Far-Right Guardian. Plus: Part 13 Of Saveed Miliband’s Greatest Hits

Hello, friends.

And here is my latest piece in today’s Far-Right Guardian, in which I propose a typically intelligent solution to the problem of Labour’s lack of votes – which, in any case, friends, is a Hard-Right LIE peddled by the Murdoch-controlled Media, e.g. Our BBC  – namely, for voting Labour to be made compulsory. (I am gratified, by the way, to see that a couple of the replies take my comments – literally – literally.)

And below that, I’ve also included four pieces from last May [Groan!J.C. Oh hello, Jeremy! You won’t have to worry about the Hard-Right May after June 8th, will you?L. No comment!J.C.], on free speech; Our Venezuela; Our BBC recipe website; and the hated rich, who literally steal from the rest of us by dint of being richer than us.

As ever, a link to the original article and my comment, along with any replies, is provided under each piece.

These local elections make a national point: voting should be compulsory

Well said, Polly. Voting should indeed be made compulsory.

But that will still not be enough, as the Murdoch-controlled Monopoly Media, e.g. the Hard-Right BBC, will continue to predictably brainwash millions of people in to voting the wrong way, as they did in last June’s Referendum.

I therefore offer this far simpler solution to the problem that we on the Progressive Left – and there are still quite a few of us, friends, despite last night’s rather disappointing results – have been wrestling with over the past several years, namely the even bigger problem of people turning up at their polling station and not voting Labour, namely:

*Voting Labour* should also be made compulsory.



Free speech is under attack, from Beijing to Istanbul (article by Timothy Garton Ash, 12.5.16)

So-called “free speech” is all very well and good in theory, but not when it descends in to Hate Speech, i.e. disagreeing with the totally objective, accurate and dispassionate facts that those of us on the Progressive Left attempt to get across to the masses, who have been totally brainwashed by the Far-Right Murdoch-controlled Mass Media, e.g. the BBC – which Thatcher totally destroyed – and which is a totally sickening and disgraceful propaganda outfit, and is the envy of the world, and indeed elsewhere, and which is under attack from this totally unelected Tory Government, i.e. the totally nauseating attempt to reschedule Strictly Come Dancing, which I personally would be prepared to pay at least twice the current Licence Fee for, just to keep it on at its present time, whatever that is.



Venezuela president declares 60-day state of emergency, blaming US for instability (report, 14.5.16)

Friends! Our Venezuela is, as we on the Progressive Left have always said, an example of True Socialism in action.

However, unfortunately, the Americans have wrecked it, just as they did when they wrecked the British economy in 2008 after Our Gordon had abolished Boom and Bust, by allowing the Banksters to ruin everything, i.e. Northern Rock in 2007.

But despite these few minor transitional problems in Venezuela, e.g. no toilet paper, power cuts – which, friends, of course have the benefit of helping to combat Climate Change – galloping inflation, sporadic looting etc., I can confidently say that Venezuela is a far preferable place to live in than Far-Right Austerity Britain in which literally millions of people are starving to death on a daily basis as they struggle to pay ever-higher Bedroom Taxes whilst working 95-hour weeks on Zero Hour Contracts in compulsory Foodbanks.



Why cuts to the BBC’s recipe website could be the final straw (article by Owen Jones, 17.5.16)

More crazy neoliberalism from this totally unelected Tory Government, which has totally destroyed Our BBC, which is the envy of the world and indeed elsewhere.

It is just totally typical of the Far-Right Fascist Neoliberal Whittingdale that he should force Our BBC to cut its recipe website, thus ensuring that tonight, and indeed every night, literally tens of millions of children will go to bed hungry, cold and poor, while he and his Bankster friends – who, after all, are the people who created this latest crisis of Late Fascist Neoliberalism, and should therefore pay for it – sadistically quaff champagne whilst burning £50 notes in front of some of the poorest and most vulnerable people in our so-called society, i.e. Our Junior Doctors, who are forced to work 95-hour weeks on Zero-Hour Contracts for poverty pay, while Our NHS is viciously privatised, e.g. by forcing it to provide a totally unnecessary 7-day service, which it already does in any case.

What planet are these people living on, friends? Certainly not the one that I inhabit, that’s for sure!

No wonder, friends, that we on the Progressive Left are revolting!



The super-rich blackmail us with threats to leave the UK. We should call their bluff (article by Aditya Chakrabortty, 17.5.16)

Very well said, Aditya.

For those of us on the Progressive Left – and there are many of us, friends, as shown by the recent local election results, where we managed to retain several seats – the most important thing in this world, and indeed anywhere else, is that we should not have to experience the indignity of having people around us who are considerably richer than us.

Such people damage our fragile self-esteem, which is completely unfair since they do not deserve a single penny of their obscene wealth, which has been – let us be blunt, friends – stolen from the rest of us by dint of all kinds of dirty and underhand means, e.g. Tax Avoidance which, as we all know, is exactly the same as Tax Evasion, whatever the Far-Right Murdoch-controlled Monopoly Media, e.g. the so-called Internet, may claim.

And we on the Progressive Left are determined to change this. Why, friends, should anyone get away with paying less tax than I want them to, just because the law allows them to do this? In a truly civilised society – which Thatcher denied the existence of, and then destroyed – the 1% should not get away with the total obscenity of paying only 27% of total income tax. Since they own well over 100% of all the wealth in the world, surely it is only fair that they should pay well over 100% of the taxes?

Friends, these wealthy parasites have no place in a Socialist Britain! Let us, instead, emulate our good friends in Venezuela, where obscene wealth – indeed, any form of wealth whatsoever – has been totally banished. Despite a few minor transitional problems, e.g. food and medicine shortages, no toilet paper, power cuts – which, friends, of course have the benefit of helping to combat Climate Change – galloping inflation, sporadic looting etc., which in any case have all been caused by the Americans – i.e. the Far-Right neoliberal puppet, Obama – this is a society with huge social solidarity, which is the envy of the world, and indeed elsewhere, and which we on the Progressive Left are determined to emulate in May 2020, when Our Jeremy will sweep to power and a new dawn will dawn, friends.


Why We Need A Progressive Left Alliance To – Literally – Smash The Tories On June 8th, Which Will Weaken Britain’s Negotiating Position With Our Brussels, Friends! My Piece In Today’s Far-Right Guardian.

Hello, friends.

And here is my piece in today’s Far-Right Guardian, in which I analyse the Hard-Right Ian Birrel’s very wise argument that, the bigger the Tory majority is on 9th June, the weaker Britain’s negotiating position with Our EU will be.

Despite the compelling logic of Our Ian’s view – with its clear implication that we on the Progressive Left should all vote Tory in order to weaken Britain’s negotiating position as much as possible – I was compelled [Groan!J.C.] to reject it, as voting Tory is something that I – literally – could never do, no matter how beneficial to Our EU it might turn out to be.

Instead, as you can see below, I have come up with an alternative proposal which is so startlingly original in its startling originality, even the Far-Right Guardian cannot possibly – literally – gainsay it.

As ever, I have provided a link to the original article and my comment, together with replies to it, below my piece.

Strengthen our hand in Europe? No, a landslide for May would weaken it

Very well said, Ian, especially considering that you are a – literally – Hard-Right neoliberal who only a few years ago viciously wrote speeches for the hated Camoron.

Friends! For those of us on the Progressive Left, Ian’s literally irrefutable logic presents us with something of a dilemma.

If, as he says, a landslide victory for the hated Bullingdon Bully Boy May will actually weaken Britain’s negotiating position in Brussels, then it surely follows logically that all of us on the Progressive Left should vote Tory, in order to make Britain’s position as weak as possible? That, after all, is what we want: to see Britain – which Thatcher totally destroyed – utterly humiliated by Our Friends In Europe, who are quite justifiably extremely angry with this totally unelected Tory Government for kowtowing to the wishes of that tiny handful of 17,410,742 bigots who disobeyed the clear orders of Our Experts last June and viciously voted against Our EU, and all because, as Ian correctly states, they were literally taken in by the firm promise of £350 million/week for Our NHS, which was nothing more than a Hard-Right LIE emblazoned on the side of a distinctly racist omnibus!

Only joking, friends!

But no! That way, madness – literally – lies! We on the Progressive Left must actually do everything in our power to ensure that this totally unelected Tory Government is – literally – totally unelected on June 8th.

The answer, surely, is a Progressive Left Alliance, encompassing many diverse Progressive elements, e.g. Communists, Trotskyists, Leninists, Stalinists, Maoists, Pol-Potists, Anarchists, Terrorists, LibDems, Greens, Anna Soubry, Our Gina, Our Hezza, Our Prof. Grayling, Our Dick (Branson) etc., which will – literally – stand up for Our Brussels and Our EU against all the vicious bullying that they are having to endure from this tiny, insignificant, pathetically weak so-called country of ours, which is – literally – the laughing-stock of the world.

If we can only do this, friends – and as my long list above shows, we are hardly lacking in wide popular appeal – the result of the General Election on June 8th will be – literally – a landslide!



Lefty’s Sunday Selection Of Tweets, 23rd-30th April

Hello, friends.

And I expect you’ve all noticed that the Hard-Right Bullingdon Bully Boy May has, in a fit of total cowardice, literally fled to the Far-Right Scotland, so that she can (a) hide from all of us on the Progressive Left, whose literally penetrating questions about e.g. why she has totally destroyed Our NHS – the envy of the world and indeed elsewhere, friends – she is literally unable to answer; and (b) avoid a mass debate [Sic!J.C. Indeed, Jeremy – it is indeed totally Sic-kening that she refuses to participate in a TV Election debate, which is an ancient and long-standing British tradition that goes back all the way to those far-off days of 2010.L.] with Jeremy, who – literally – terrifies her with his sheer popularity, which is – literally – unprecedented, and will result in a landslide on June 8th.

Hey ho, friends, this is all – literally – grist to the Progressive Left mill, and one day – maybe as soon as 2045, but possibly even sooner – Labour will literally sweep to power, at which point the Far-Right lamb will lie down with the unicorn, and every Pandora’s Box will have a – literally – silver lining.

Anyway, enough of all this – literally – deep political analysis [Ha!J.C.]. Here are last week’s tweets:

Sunday 23rd April

Monday 24th April

Tuesday 25th April

Wednesday 26th April

Thursday 27th April

Friday 28th April

Saturday 29th April

Sunday 30th April

Why Labour Should Promise To Oppose Brexit – Literally – Tooth And Nail, Friends! My Piece In Today’s Far-Right Guardian.

Hello, friends.

And here is a piece I wrote in the Far-Right Guardian today, in which I fully support the very wise proposal of Jonathan Steele that Labour should abandon any remaining pretence of supporting Brexit – whether Hard, Soft or half-baked [not a bad little joke there, eh friends! And to think that Hard-Right elements claim that we on the Progressive Left have no sense of humour!] – and should instead literally come out of the Far-Right Pandora’s Box with all guns blazing, all the while nailing its true colours to the mast and taking the Good Ship Labour – literally – up the creek, from where it can storm the Brexit House of Cards, which is literally no more than a viciously Hard-Right Paper Tiger dressed in a Lone Trojan Wolf’s clothing!

As ever, I’ve provided a link to the original article and my comment, along with any replies to it, below this piece.

Be bold Labour: promise to abandon this ruinous Brexit

Well said, Jonathan. Your analysis of this particular situation is as spot-on as it always is.

Friends! Labour’s electoral unpopularity – which in any case is a Hard-Right LIE peddled by the Far-Right Murdoch-controlled Monopoly Media, e.g. Our BBC – is because it is not nearly pro-EU enough!

As Jonathan so wisely points out, a full 48% of voters supported Our EU last June. And as extensive polling evidence, painstakingly garnered by one of the world’s most reliable and authoritative psephological experts, i.e. me, has repeatedly shown, not one single person who voted for Our EU last June has changed their minds.

Bigots, friends!

Furthermore, this same polling evidence shows, hearteningly, that the numbers of Our 48% have been swelled by – literally – huge numbers of that tiny handful of 17,410,742 bigots who disobeyed the firm orders of Our Experts last June, and viciously voted against Our EU, and all because they were deceived by the LIES on the side of a racist omnibus!

Indeed, the numbers of these defectors are so huge, it is rather surprising that the 48% are still only referred to as “the 48%”. Surely, by now, that number should be a lot bigger – say, 52%? Ah, but no: as we Remainers know, 52% is not actually a majority.

Anyway, as Jonathan so wisely implies, the answer to all Labour’s problems – which do not in any case exist – is simple:

Full-blooded, unconditional support for Our EU, with a firm commitment to oppose Brexit all the way.

Such a policy would, I am quite sure, make Labour as electorally popular as the Greens and the Liberal Democrats put together. And would guarantee that the result of the General Election is – literally – a landslide.


Why All Of Us Must – Literally – Attend Our Climate March On April 29th, Friends! My Piece In The Far-Right Guardian Today.

Hello, friends.

And as you may have shrewdly inferred, I have – literally – waded in to the mass debate [Sic!J.C. Oh hello, Jeremy! Well done for – literally – taking the fight to the Tories! How big do you think Labour’s majority will be, by the way?L. No comment!J.C.] in the Far-Right Guardian today, in which I fully support Our Eve’s call for all us on the Progressive Left – and there are still quite a few of us, friends, despite this totally unelected Tory Government literally murdering literally billions of us by depriving us of Our School Meals on the flimsy pretext of it being “school holidays” or some other feeble neoliberal excuse, e.g. that we’re “not actually school children in any case” – to attend Our Climate March on April 29th.

Needless to say, some Hard-Right Leaver Deniers claim that, however much we on the Progressive Left march against Climate Change, “it won’t change Climate Change at all”!

Hearts and minds, friends!

Which, of course, totally misses the point!  We are not marching principally to change Climate Change – any change in Climate Change as a result of Our March will just be an added bonus –  but to – literally – change hearts and minds, and thereby the climate [Groan!J.C.] of opinion generally, which we have done with such notable success on so many issues recently, e.g. reversing Brexit, and opposing this totally unelected Tory Government which needless to say will be totally unelected on June 8th, and which, even if it isn’t, will always be “this totally unelected Tory Government” as far as those of us on the Progressive Left are concerned.

As ever, I’ve provided a link to the original article and my comment, along with any replies to it, below this piece.

This spring, fight for our precious planet and join the climate march

Well said, Eve. You have – literally – spoken for well over 97% of Guardian readers here, as estimated by well over 110% of Climate Scientists, who as we all know are – literally – infallible, and whose orders must never be disobeyed.

Friends! I do hope you will all attend this Climate March on 29th April, not just to show everyone that you care about this Earth – and there is only one Earth, friends, apart from all the others – but also to show that you care that other people know that you care, which is obviously the most important thing of all.

I, alas, will be unable to attend, as I have already been booked in for a Mass March against this totally unelected Tory Government, which in a typically undemocratic and cynical power grab is holding a General Election, even though – literally – nobody wants one, apart from a tiny handful of 17,410,742 racist bigots who – literally – represent absolutely nobody but themselves, and who last June disobeyed the explicit orders of Our Experts, and all because they were deceived by all the LIES they read on the side of a racist omnibus.

Nonetheless, friends, I will be with you all in – literally – spirit! And I do beg you all to remember, as you march against Our Climate Change, one very important thing, and which far too many Hard-Right Leaver Deniers predictably deny:

Weather is – literally – not the same thing as Our Climate Change.


Lefty’s Sunday Selection Of Tweets, 16th-23rd April

Hello, friends.

And I hope you are all feeling as optimistic as I am about 8th June, when Jeremy will finally – literally – smash the Hard-Right Bullingdon Bully Boy May back on to her criminally Far-Right kitten heels!

Complacency, friends!

Of course, friends, we must not be complacent! The huge landslide that awaits us will have to be fought for, literally every inch of the way. But with Jeremy as Our Leader, along with Our John (he of the Little Read Book fame), Our Diane, Our Emily and the rest of Jeremy’s impressive team – whoever they are – how can we possibly fail?

Anyway, here are last week’s Hard-Right Tweets [Some mistake surely, Lefty?J.C. Oh Jeremy! I was only teasing! Don’t be so literally literal-minded!L.]:


Sunday 16th April

Monday 17th April

Tuesday 18th April

Wednesday 19th April

Thursday 20th April

Friday 21st April

Saturday 22nd April

Sunday 23rd April