Boy George’s Existential Threat To This Blog, Friends!

Hello, friends.

And as you may have shrewdly guessed, I have some very disturbing news, which is disturbing me greatly as an extremely disturbed person, and which I am sure will disturb all of you, once I have spelled out in black and white the Sword of Damocles which is now hanging over this Blog like a dark cloud which has absolutely no silver lining in any shape or form whatsoever, quite frankly!

This Blog – which, like society, Thatcher claimed didn’t exist, and then destroyed, and is the envy of the world and elsewhere – is under attack by this totally unelected Tory Government, friends!

Crazy neoliberalism 

This nightmare – which, friends, is truly nightmarish – all started yesterday morning, when the phone rang.  I answered, as I always do, “Jeremy’s office”.

A rather thin, squeaky, but unmistakably posh voice asked: “Hello, it’s George Osborne here. Is Mr. Lefty available, please?”

“Speaking”, I answered, crisply, adding, rather wittily I thought, “Is that George Osborne, as in Boy George?”

“No – nothing to do with Culture Club. Mr. Lefty, I need to talk with you about your Blog. Could you please come to the Treasury for a chat?  This afternoon at 3pm, OK?”

I was about to point out that I was due to go on a Mass March Against Tory Austerity, attended by myself, at that exact time, when there was a click and the line went dead.  Ah well, I thought, perhaps what Boy George had to talk about was important. After all, he and Camoron are probably getting pretty rattled about this Blog!

Arriving at the Treasury sharp at 3pm, I was ushered in to a large, oak-panelled room, where Boy George was sitting behind a large desk.  I couldn’t help but notice he looked rather pale, his hands were shaking slightly, and there was a rather spaced-out look in his eyes – but, almost needless to say, I put this all down to understandable nervousness at meeting such an influential political Blogger as myself.  (On a more trivial note, I was also surprised to see traces of a white powdery substance on the collar of his dark blue suit jacket, as I had never heard that Boy George suffered from dandruff.)

He didn’t, though, take long to get to the point. “Now, Mr. Lefty, I’ll come straight to the point.  I’m afraid to say that, as a result of certain, er, savings that we are needing to make at the present time, we are going to have to sell orf your Blog.  Now, there are a number of possibilities here: a trade sale, a management buyout, or even a Stock Market flotation. Anyway, I just thought I should let you know in person. Any questions?”, he sneered, with a look of utter contempt in his eyes and a disdainful curl of his upper lip.

“Well, Boy … er, frien … er, Gidi …  er I mean Mr. Osborne”, I stuttered – his right eyebrow arched as I fumbled over what to call him – “this has come as a not-inconsiderable shock to me. Are you not aware of the devastating effects on jobs, the Environment, and indeed the worl … “.

“Oh yes, the world and elsewhere, friend”, Boy George sneered, impatiently. “Well, Mr. Lefty, I’m afraid that your so-called Blog simply isn’t viable as it currently stands.  We have many competing claims for resources, and I’m afraid that your Blog is not one of them. It isn’t” – he sniggered at this – “part of our Long-Term Economic Plan. Good afternoon, friend”, he sneered, with a particular emphasis on the last word.

“Well, it’s not that goo …”, I started, before realising that Boy George was dismissing me.

Utter disaster

Friends, this is the biggest threat to face this Blog since it was founded several weeks ago!  As I’m sure you’ll all recall, setting it up was no easy matter. Funding has always been an issue, what with constant Tory Austerity and attacks by the Far Right, e.g. Mr. so-called “Dan” Jarvis, who has even questioned whether this Blog “properly belongs in the public sector at all”.  And then they claim that this man is not a Far-Right Red Tory Traitor!  When I hear claims like that, so great is my anger, it’s hard to put a coherent sentence together! [No change there then, Lefty! – J.C. Quit the wisecracks, Jeremy – this is not a joking matter – L.  Who said I was joking? – J.C.]

Strong Message Here

Of course, a heartless sociopath like Gidiot doesn’t care about this Blog, friends! He just regards it as a tiresome burden on the State, friends!  He doesn’t care about the fact that, if this Blog closes, literally millions of jobs will be lost, and one of the very few voices of opposition to his neoliberal, Fascist policies will be silenced.

************************************

Well friends, I hope that as this may – thanks to Tory Austerity – be the last Blog, at least for some time, you’ll permit me to finish on a different musical note to our usual one!

Lineup:

Me: Lead Guitar, Lead Vocals.

Jeremy: Rhythm Guitar, Backing Vocals.

John: Little Read Book! No – only joking, John! Bass Guitar, Backing Vocals.

Diane: Organ, Backing Vocals.

Emily: Drums and General Percussion.

Readers: Please feel free to sing along, friends!  All together now:

I’ve paid my dues [Don’t you mean “Jews”? – K.L. Quiet, Ken. – L.]
Time after time
I’ve done my sentence
But committed no Hate Crime
And bad Blogs
I’ve written quite a few
I’ve had my share of neoliberal Fascism
Kicked in my face
But I’ve come through

And this Blog means to go on and on and on and on [You said it, Lefty! – J.C.]

We are the champions, friends
And we’ll keep on fighting
Till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for Far Right Red Tory Treacherous scum
‘Cause we are the champions of the World, and elsewhere

I’ve taken my bows
And my curtain calls
You brought me fame and fortune [Ha! – J.C.]
And everything that goes with it
I thank you all
But it’s been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise
I consider it a challenge before
The whole human race
And I ain’t gonna lose

And this Blog means to go on and on and on and on

We are the champions – my friends
And we’ll keep on fighting
Till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for Far Right Red Tory Treacherous scum
‘Cause we are the champions of the World, and elsewhere

A Warm Hello To The Right-Wing Fans Of This Blog!

Hello again, friends.

And first of all, an apology for the lack of Blogs recently, which was caused by understandable fears of Brexit which would, as we all know, lead to a complete collapse of Blogging on a worldwide basis, i.e. this Blog, as well as total withdrawal of EU subsidies for investment in this independent Blog, which naturally ensures the sort of objective impartiality for which it is rightly renowned.

But enough about the utter disaster for this Blog and indeed the world (and elsewhere) that Brexit would represent.  I shall, of course, be returning to that subject again before June 23rd. [Do you really have to, Lefty? – J.C. Honestly, Jeremy! I sometimes wonder about how committed you are to Our EU! – L. No comment! – J.C.]

Welcome, friends!

Anyway, today, I’d like to extend a warm welcome to a small group of people who, so I’m told, read this Blog, and actually enjoy it. [That must be a very small group, Lefty! – J.C.  Oi, Jeremy!  Don’t forget the old Chinese proverb: he who wields the tin-opener determines who gets the baked beans for supper! – L.]

Now, if Jeremy will allow me to continue without further interruption [OK – you win, Boss! – J.C. Thanks, Jeremy! – L.], I shall explain further.  There are, apparently, some Right-wingers for whom this Blog is “required reading” and who, furthermore, find it “quite amusing” – if, that is, the totally reliable and truthful reports I’ve been receiving about this can be relied upon for their veracity!

Dim

I must admit that it does rather puzzle me that there are any Right-wingers who’d want to read this blog, which as all regular readers know is totally dedicated to 100% (and that’s the absolute minimum!) support of Our Jeremy, and whose fervent belief in a Better Progressive Socialist Tomorrow is notoriously notorious!

Furthermore, I really cannot for the life of me understand why they should find this blog “amusing” in any shape or form whatsoever, quite frankly!  After all, as we all know, Right-wingers have absolutely no sense of humour whatsoever, and it therefore puzzles me that any Right-winger could possibly appreciate a Blog that is full of subtlety, coruscating wit and well-reasoned arguments. [What blog are you talking about, Lefty?  I must take a look at it! – J.C.]

Yes, we on the Progressive Left certainly do have a wonderful sense of humour, friends!  I guess it’s matched only by our modesty!  And with the literally endless list of targets that the Right provide us with, mocking them is as easy as shooting a red herring inside the thin end of an iceberg with both barrels of a smoking gun!

Projection

There are so many jokes we can and do make about the Right: the Banksters, the 1%, Thatcher, Neoliberalism, the Tories, Thatcher, their Fascism, their bigotry, the Tories, their hypocrisy, UKIP, Thatcher, the Tories, their narrow-mindedness, their blinkered attitudes, Thatcher, their imperviousness to the kind of logical, reasoned arguments provided in this Blog, Thatcher, the Tories, etc. etc. – the list is literally endless!

And, of course, there’s also the fact that the Right are unable to make any argument without descending to abuse and ad hominems!  They really are a such a very nasty bunch of people, aren’t they, friends?  Not surprising, when you consider what selfish, evil scum they are. Also, it really annoys me how they make sweeping, unsubstantiated generalisations about, well, you know, absolutely everything.  And, of course, perhaps most egregious of all, their complete lack of self-awareness makes them look totally ridiculous.

But, of course, friends, this all plays in to our hands!  And it also explains why we on the Left are never short of the sort of jokes that have, for instance, given Radio 4 comedy programmes the sort of reputation and global appeal that they have today! (That joke the other night about “what with that evil witch Thatcher and that mad cowboy Reagan practically starting World War III in the Eighties, it’s amazing that we’re still alive to tell the tale! Thank God they’re both dead, eh!” still has me in stitches!)

Strong Message Here

Needless to say, Left-wing comedy is also a profoundly radicalising and subversive force, and one which must surely explain at least in part the amount of electoral success that we on the Left have had in the UK over the past few years.  So that’s another benefit for us all, friends!

Plus, friends, the fact that the Right are unable to appreciate the sheer dazzling wit of Left-wing comedians, only underlines their total lack of any sense of humour.

We, after all, can – and always do – laugh at them. Why can’t they do the same?

Good riddance, friends!

In conclusion, friends, if there are indeed any Far-Right infiltrators of this Blog, they are in no shape or form welcome here, quite frankly!  We don’t need their Hard-Right, racist, Fascist neoliberalism here, friends!  Why don’t they just go to a Far-Right publication, e.g. the Guardian, where they’d feel more at home? Let us, using the mass power of working people, i.e. myself, crush them totally!  Let them be gone, expelled, purged, banished, and let them never darken our Safe Space again!

Let us sing together, friends

And now, friends, we come the moment that I know is the favourite part of this Blog for most of you! [Indeed – because that means you’ll finally shut up. – J.C. Jeremy!!  You are quite incorrigible! – L. I’m greatly incorriged (geddit) to hear that, Lefty! – J.C. Groan! – L.]

Yes, it’s time for our musical moment, friends!  John – could you tear yourself away from your Little Read Book for just a moment, and  take a turn at the organ today, please?  Thanks!  All together now:

So raise the scarlet standard high, whilst supporting Our Jeremy all the time,

Beneath its shade we’ll live and die, and win a 2020 Election landslide,

Though the Banksters and the 1% flinch, and Red Tory traitors predictably sneer,

We’ll totally smash the evil Tory scum, and keep the Red Flag flying here!

Let Us Fight Together To Save Our EU, Friends!

Hello again, friends, and welcome to this Safe Space, which is the envy of the world and elsewhere, and which the Tories want to destroy, but won’t succeed in because [Enough of the waffling, Lefty. – J.C.  Oi, Jeremy – whose Blog is this, anyway? – L. Fair point, but cut the waffle anyway. – J.C.]

And I’m sure you won’t be surprised to hear that today’s Blog is about Our EU, which the 1% and the Banksters – i.e. the hated Farage – have totally destroyed, and which is the envy of the world and elsewhere.

I have, naturally, talked long and hard with Jeremy about the predictable smears perpetuated by the Far-Right media, e.g. the BBC, in which it has been alleged that he is actually a long-term campaigner against the EU, who has merely changed his stance for purely opportunistic reasons.

A tangled web

Nothing, of course, could be further from the truth. Jeremy has assured me that his campaign against EU membership over the previous 40-odd years was “a brief moment of madness”, explaining that this was in any case all “a very long time ago, in very different times”, and that his earlier comments about the EU being “a rich man’s club, designed to prop up a totally predictable neoliberal hegemonistic paradigm, in which the Banksters and the 1% profit at the expense of the 99.9%” have been “totally taken out of context by the Far-Right Murdoch-controlled monopoly media”, e.g. the so-called Internet.

And in any case, as Jeremy reminded me in a brief 8-hour chat only last night, his views on the EU actually have not changed one iota over the past 40+ years. As he said at the time of the 1975 Referendum about the then Common Market, and I quote his words exactly:

It is a racist, neoliberal construct, specifically designed for the multinational bosses, the Banksters and the 1% to continually oppress working people, e.g. students and the unemployed, by reinforcing the hegemonistic capitalist paradigm.

It cannot be reformed, and therefore, friends, we in the Labour Party must totally oppose it.

On becoming Labour Leader last September, Our Jeremy reaffirmed this view, with just a couple of minor changes in wording for the purposes of clarification, viz.:

It is a racist, neoliberal construct, specifically designed for the multinational bosses, the Banksters and the 1% to continually oppress working people, e.g. students and the unemployed, by reinforcing the hegemonistic capitalist paradigm.

It can be reformed, and therefore, friends, we in the Labour Party must totally support it.

Needless to say, the Far-Right etc. media, e.g. the sickeningly neoliberal Guardian, have predictably seized on these minor word changes, claiming that they show Our Jeremy to be just another completely spineless, unprincipled politician who is happy to change an important political position for his own self-serving ends.

Really! Words totally fail me! Are there no depths to which our so-called media are not prepared to sink in their constant denigration of Our Jeremy?  As I have demonstrated conclusively here, Jeremy’s position on Europe has been every bit as consistent over the past 40-odd years as that of the Labour Party itself.

Strong Message Here

Friends, we need to lift our eyes and look at the bigger picture! We must cast away our racism and xenophobia, and work towards building an International Socialist State of Europe! With Our Jeremy at the helm, plus his inspired Shadow Team, with their considerable experience of working in the real world and elsewhere, we can rebuild Our Britain as a true People’s Democracy, the pinnacle of a New Socialist Europe!

Enemies

Of course, and totally predictably, we will encounter many obstacles along the way, not least the assorted Red Tories and Far-Right scum, including those few who regrettably remain in the Shadow Cabinet (no names, no packdrill, Hilary!), who of course will need to be dealt with. (Leave that to me.)

Extreme bias

We will also have to tackle the Far-Right Murdoch-controlled media, i.e. the so-called BBC whose anti-EU bias is obvious to even the meanest intelligence, e.g. myself. But then, friends, who ever claimed that fighting Murdoch was ever going to be easy, given that he owns more than 100% of the media, including the internet?

Let us now sing together, friends!

Let us finish, as befits a Blog of this quality and reputation, on our usual musical note, friends!  You all know what I’m referring to, and I bet you’re looking forward to this bit as much as you always do!  All together now (Organ, Diane!  Welcome back, glad you’re on the mend!  Beware of strange tramps bearing KFC buckets in future, eh!):

So raise the scarlet standard high, whilst supporting Our Jeremy all the time,

Beneath its shade we’ll live and die, and win a 2020 Election landslide,

Though the Banksters and the 1% flinch, and Red Tory traitors predictably sneer,

We’ll totally smash the evil Tory scum, and keep the Red Flag flying here!

Labour’s 100-Point Plan To Stamp Out Tax-Dodging Tories!

Hello again, friends.

And I expect that you are all looking forward as much as I am to Jeremy’s forthcoming triumph in PMQs later today, in which once again he literally slaughtered Camoron, as reported in my Blog two weeks ago.  Wow!  Jeremy just gets better and better, doesn’t he, friends? No wonder the Tories are utterly terrified of him!

Well, today’s Blog is, as I’m sure you’ve all shrewdly deduced, all about Tax Avoidance, which, as we all know, is exactly the same thing as Tax Evasion, whatever the Far Right Murdoch-controlled Monopoly Media, e.g. the Guardian, may claim!

Hysterical hyperbole

And we on the Progressive Left are determined to change this. Why, friends, should anyone get away with paying less tax than I want them to, just because the law allows them to do this?  Just imagine if this sort of attitude became widespread in our so-called society – which Thatcher denied the existence of, and then destroyed – friends!  What other despicable practices would people think were OK, just because they weren’t illegal?  At this rate, we’ll be sending children up chimneys next! Honestly, the sheer wickedness of the Tories really gets my goat, making me want to kill two sacred golden geese laying broken eggs in the bush for the price of one silver lining, and totally blow my top, quite frankly! [Steady on, old boy! – J.C. Oi, Jeremy – enough of the “old”! You’re not exactly a spring goose yourself, are you? – L.  OK, Boss – you win! – J.C.]

Quite frankly scandalous

Friends, it is an absolute scandal that the 1% get away with paying only 27% of total income tax.  Since they own well over 100% of all the wealth in the world, surely it is only fair that they should pay well over 100% of the taxes?

And, friends, I am quite frankly fed up to the hind teeth with hearing that tired old canard about how the rich “pay a lot of tax already”!  Until there is a far more equal and fair distribution of the extreme poverty and shocking deprivation that scar and shame this so-called society of ours, then as far as Jeremy and I are concerned, “a lot” can never be enough, quite frankly!

Fiscal responsibility is important, friends

Having discussed this matter with Jeremy and John (he of the Little Read Book fame), we have concluded that the best, and fairest, way of stamping out tax avoidance is a Tory Tax.

This new tax will be imposed on the following people:

1. Those who have voted Tory in the past.
2. Those who have considered voting Tory in the past.
3. Those who might be prepared to consider voting Tory in the future.
4. Those who are not prepared to rule out ever voting Tory in the future.
5. Those who have had dreams about voting Tory, whether in the past or in the future.
6. Far-Right Red Tory treacherous scum, i.e. anyone in the Labour Party who doesn’t support Our Jeremy to the hilt, who in any case will soon be totally crushed by the mass power of working people, i.e. students. (Leave this to me.)
7. Tories, e.g. anyone who doesn’t support this very fair tax.
8. Anyone else not covered by categories 1-7 that Jeremy and I don’t like the look of.

NB: A special extra 50% surcharge will, of course, be levied on anyone for whom the word “UKIP” is applicable in categories 1-5 and 7-8.

This new tax will be as fair as it will be simple. The starting rate will be 100% (150% for UKIP),  with higher-rate bands whose levels will be determined as soon as John has managed to work out from his Little Read Book just how many extra hundreds of billions are needed to save Our NHS, which the Tories have totally destroyed, and which is the envy of the world and elsewhere.

How the Tory Tax will work in practice

It will work in practice because we say that it will; and it will enable us to abolish all Bedroom Taxes and save Our NHS, etc.

Needless to say, there will doubtless be all kinds of Far-Right trouble-makers, subversives, n’er do wells, Red Tory traitors, knockers (I hate knockers!  Don’t you, friends?) and Moaning Minnies who will predictably claim that this Tory Tax is unworkable, and that it will merely cause wealthy people, e.g. Banksters and the 1%, to emigrate to other countries with “less penal” taxation, e.g. the totally illegitimate Hong Kong Fascist State.

Strong Message Here

To which Jeremy and I say: if such people choose to be so venal as to avoid (i.e. evade) their taxes, and thereby abdicate their moral duty to their fellow human beings – and there is only one Human Race, friends, apart from all the others – then quite frankly, as far as Jeremy and I are concerned, we are better off without them! Good riddance to all of those wealthy parasites which we in the Labour Party are more than happy to see the back of, quite frankly! We can do very well without them and their obscene wealth, thank you!

Endless tedium

Let us finish, friends, on our usual jolly, happy, friendly musical note!  Diane’s off sick with a gammy stomach (I did warn you, Diane, about that rather dodgy-looking KFC bucket that you “borrowed” from the tramp – BTW, Jeremy,  if that was you, that was a very cunning disguise! – in Islington High Street!), so Emily has kindly agreed to play the organ today – thanks Emily!  All together now, friends:

So raise the scarlet standard high, whilst supporting Our Jeremy all the time,

Beneath its shade we’ll live and die, and win a 2020 Election landslide,

Though the Banksters and the 1% flinch, and Red Tory traitors predictably sneer,

We’ll totally smash the evil Tory scum, and keep the Red Flag flying here!

*********************************

PS: We’re still working on the 100-point plan. Only another 99 points to go, friends!

Let’s Drive Scamoron From Office, Friends!

Hello, friends.

And first of all, Jeremy would like to apologise to all of you who who have been eagerly awaiting his latest comments on this Blog.  Unfortunately, he has been tied up recently, and I’m still waiting for Diane to untie him.  No – only joking, friends! [Cheeky sod. – J.C.  Oh, Jeremy – can’t you take a little joke at your expense? – L.  No. – J.C.]

Seriously, friends, Jeremy’s been very busy recently, what with the increasing problem of anti-anti-Semitism in the Party, which of course is all caused by the Jews Zionists, who must be dealt with as soon as possible. (Leave that to Our Ken, who tells me he has a final solution to the problem.)

Enough trivia

Anyway, today’s blog is about the most serious problem facing our Nation at this particular moment in time, friends.  Forget the EU Referendum [I wish I could. – J.C.], friends, as this is far more important than the trivial matter of who runs the UK, and in any case we already know who does that: the 1% and the Banksters, together with the Far-Right Murdoch-controlled Monopoly Media, e.g. the Independent, which is a total disgrace and should be closed immediately.

No, friends, the burning topic of today is about the BBC’s Panorama Papers, about which I’m sure you are all at least as well-informed as me, in which it has been discovered that, scandalously, certain extremely wealthy Far-Right people have not been paying enough in taxes – and no, I’m not talking about the Red Tory Traitor, Blair, who was so widely hated that he only managed to win three General Elections before he was forced to resign by popular demand, i.e. Our Gordon.

No knockers here, friends!

And let me make something perfectly clear from the outset, so that no-one gets the wrong end of the iceberg on this one.

This Blog does not in any shape or form whatsoever deal in so-called “personality politics”.  We never have, and we never shall, friends, because we on the Progressive Left are interested in Ideas, not so-called personalities, which is why we so deplore all the knockers that sadly infest this world and indeed elsewhere, and which are widely hated and detested by myself.

Tittle-tattle

Jeremy and I are not interested in tittle-tattle in any shape or form whatsoever, friends!  Nor are we going to descend to personal abuse of that serial tax dodger, the ham-faced lying super-wealthy crook Scamoron!

Nor will we point out that his totally outrageous behaviour in not paying tax that he is not legally obliged to pay, and then not saying that he will pay it, is quite frankly totally outrageous, and proves that he is not fit to hold the highest office in the land – nor even that of Prime Minister, quite frankly!

Bias

No, we will leave that sort of personal stuff to the Far-Right Murdoch-controlled Monopoly Media, e.g. the BBC, whose anti-Socialist bias is notoriously notorious and which can only be improved by retaining and indeed increasing the Licence Fee which, by charging everyone exactly the same, is an example of true Socialism in action. (No wonder, friends, that Right-wingers want to abolish the Licence Fee, as part of their evil plan to inflict hardship and austerity on the most vulnerable people in our society.)

What planet is Scamoron living on, friends?  Not the one that I inhabit, that’s for sure!  [That must come as quite a relief to him, Lefty! – J.C.  Oi, Jeremy! Just remember who put you where you are today! – L. No comment! – J.C.]

Because, on the planet that I inhabit – no more wisecracks, please, Jeremy! – the rich should pay their taxes, whether they are legally obliged to or not, all as part of the new, caring, sharing, kinder and gentler sort of politics that Jeremy and I ushered in as recently as last September the 12th, and which have transformed the image of the Progressive Left in a way that is quite frankly self-evident to all but those who are too blind to hear it!

Strong Message Here

Friends, we all know that this so-called society – which Thatcher totally destroyed – is riven and scarred with the most outrageous poverty and injustice, and we in the Labour Party are determined to ensure that in future this is distributed much more widely and fairly.

And, in order for this to come to pass, it is necessary to ensure that the wealthy pay their fair share of tax. And let me be abundantly clear as to what “fair share of tax” means: it means that those with the broadest shoulders should, at the end of the day, when the chips are down and the bears are missing the woods for the trees, start singing from the same song-sheet as the rest of us, quite frankly!

Let us sing together, friends!

And talking of songs, friends, here’s one which I know you all enjoy singing as much as I do!  (Organ, Diane – chop chop!)  All together now, friends:

So raise the scarlet standard high, whilst supporting Our Jeremy all the time,

Beneath its shade we’ll live and die, and win a 2020 Election landslide,

Though the Banksters and the 1% flinch, and Red Tory traitors predictably sneer,

We’ll totally smash the evil Tory scum, and keep the Red Flag flying here!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let Us Join Together To Save Our NHS, Friends!

Hello, friends.

And first of all, a big Thank You to Jeremy for making no fewer than three comments on my previous Blog, which can be found here, regarding the Great Steel Crisis, in which as ever this totally unelected Tory Government has predictably taken the side of the evil bosses against the workers, etc.

The obvious answer to the crisis, which of course Fascist Neoliberals – blinkered as they are with their Far Right ideology – will not contemplate, is to totally nationalise the Steel Industry with no compensation whatsoever, along with the other top 500 monopolies in the so-called Footsie index.

On a happier note, isn’t it wonderful, friends, that Jeremy is prepared to spend so much time contributing to this Blog, despite his busy schedule? As I joked to him last night, in all seriousness, perhaps he should write this Blog instead of me!

Rampant megalomania

Obviously, as writing this Blog is a full-time activity (and then some!), I’d have to take over the Labour Leadership, but of course that would be no problem, as Jeremy and I see eye to eye in everything we say and do!  All we’d have to do would be to change the name of this Blog to “SupportOurLefty”, and before you could say “predictable crisis of the hegemonistic neoliberal paradigm, as predicted exclusively in John McDonnell’s Little Read Book all those years ago”, Yours Truly would be Prime Minister, which could be a lot sooner than you, and indeed I, think!

Leadership struggle

But enough of this wild speculation and tittle-tattle about so-called personalities, friends! [And who, pray, started it, Lefty?  Are you after my job, by the way? – J.C.  Sorry, Jeremy!  Well, obviously if a vacancy arose …– L.  There is no vacancy. – J.C.  OK, Jeremy – you’re the Boss! – L.  Correct. – J.C.]

**************************************

OUR NHS

Today I want to talk about Our NHS, which Thatcher totally destroyed, and which has been totally devastated by this totally unelected Tory Government, and which is the envy of the world and indeed elsewhere.

Now, friends, I apologise in advance to many of you who may find the next section of this Blog rather “heavy reading”.  As ever, as with so many of my Blogs, there’s a lot of data, a lot of number-crunching, a lot of in-depth analysis, all presented totally objectively and dispassionately, of course.  But really, friends, if we are to Save Our NHS, we must be prepared to use every bit of information and analysis that we can make up about it.

So, friends, take a deep breath, pin back your ears, close your eyes and your minds, and concentrate! This is Important!

Detailed Analysis of the Crisis Facing Our NHS

Our NHS is the envy of the world (and indeed elsewhere), as can be seen by the sheer number of other countries which are trying to copy it.

Our NHS embodies the true spirit of Socialism, which is why the Tories hate it so much, and are determined to privatise it, e.g. by forcing it to provide a totally unnecessary 7-day service, which it already does in any case.

Financial Solution

There is absolutely no problem with the NHS that could not be solved by large enough amounts of cash.

Fortunately, it is easy to see how these large amounts could be raised, without pain: a Bullingdon Bully Boys Banksters Bonus Tax, levied on the 1%, with a starting rate of at least 110%.

Long-Term Strategy

This would mean that, just for once, those who created the crisis in the NHS in the first place would pay for it, i.e. the Banksters and the 1%, rather than the poor, sick and vulnerable who are already struggling to pay ever-higher Bedroom Taxes whilst working 95-hour weeks on Zero Hour Contracts in compulsory Foodbanks.

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Phew! That was some analysis, wasn’t it, friends?  Hope you all managed to follow it – I know it’s pretty deep stuff!  But friends, if we are truly to take on the Tories, this is the kind of depth of analysis to which we must be prepared to descend!

Anyway, friends, after that plethora of facts, information and analysis, which I expect many of you are still struggling to digest, let us conclude on a lighter note! Yes, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for, friends!  I don’t even need to spell out what it is, do I friends?  (Organ, Diane!)  All together now, friends:

So raise the scarlet standard high, whilst supporting Our Jeremy all the time,

Beneath its shade we’ll live and die, and win a 2020 Election landslide,

Though the Banksters and the 1% flinch, and Red Tory traitors predictably sneer,

We’ll totally smash the evil Tory scum, and keep the Red Flag flying here!

*

NB: The full version of my totally updated rendition of The Red Flag can be found here.