Hello, friends.
And I expect you’re all as thrilled as I am that Labour has now – literally – seen the light re the disaster that Hard-Right extreme Brexit represents, and is now pledging to keep Britain in the Single Market and Customs Union!
Not enough, friends!
Naturally I, as a leading voice of the Progressive Left [Ha! – J.C. Oh Jeremy! Do you get some kind of sick and perverted kick out of humiliating me in front of my readers? – L. Yes. – J.C.] am using my not inconsiderable influence [Stop it, Lefty! I can’t breathe! – J.C.] to push Labour still further in the direction of a truly Soft Brexit, in which Britain will also remain in Our EU. This is, after all, what most Progressive Left elements – e.g. Our Bank of England, Our Bankers, Our Stock Market, Our IMF, Our House of Lords, Our Judges, Our CBI and indeed Our EU itself – really want.
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Anyway, enough of this hard-hitting analysis of the current political paradigm [Ha! – J.C.]. Here’s the latest instalment of Saveed’s Greatest Hit-ettes: two pieces I wrote in the Far-Right Guardian last October, both on Brexit. As ever, a link to the original article and my comment, along with any replies, is provided under each piece.
Fewer UK firms are struggling despite Brexit vote, survey shows (report, 24.10.16)
Friends! The tragic news that “The number of UK companies struggling to stay afloat has fallen in a further sign that the economy is holding up after the Brexit vote” is – quite literally – tragic news.
But, friends, do not despair! All the experts that I have consulted with – and those of us on the Progressive Left always rely on experts, unlike Hard-Right elements who even now claim against all expert opinion that the Brexit vote has not caused World War III, for instance – have told me that they have high hopes that economic catastrophe is only literally a few days, weeks, months or (worst-case scenario only) years away, all as a result of Hard-Right Brexit.
In other words, friends, we in the Remain Camp have a lot to look forward to! Economic catastrophe, accelerating Climate Change, higher roaming charges and several redundancies in Brussels are just a few of the disasters that we are eagerly anticipating, all because a tiny handful of 17,410,742 Hard-Right racist bigots, who literally swallowed the LIES of the Leave Camp, viciously voted against Our EU in June!
And we look forward to pointing out that every single fall in the £ – which in any case, is now literally worthless – along with every single fall in Our Stockmarket to seemingly ever-greater heights, and indeed every single bit of appalling economic news generally, can be attributed to Hard-Right Brexit, which in any case hasn’t even happened yet! Those vicious Leavers literally ain’t seen nothing yet!
Any “good news” about the British economy will, naturally be *despite* Brexit. But, with any luck, there will be precious little good news, since the British economy – which Thatcher totally destroyed – is literally a basket case, which doesn’t even begin to compare with those of Our EU friends, e.g. Greece, Spain and Italy.
And to think that certain Far-Right Leaver elements claim that we on the Remain side “almost appear to want the British economy to fail”! THEY are the ones who have caused this literally total disaster, after all! Words literally fail me, friends!
Exclusive: what Theresa May really thinks about Brexit shown in leaked recording (report, 26.10.16)
Friends! This literally scandalous news that the Hard-Right Bullingdon Bully Boy May – who half-heartedly campaigned for Remain, thus sending out a clear signal to all those of us who were not too blind to hear it that she was in fact a Leaver – has turned out to be a Remainer all along, is quite literally scandalous!
And now, in a typical piece of sickeningly vicious Tory hypocrisy, she has decided to let the views of a literally tiny handful of 17,410,742 Far-Right bigots and racists to prevail, even though literally none of them knew what they were voting for, as they were all literally taken for a ride by the Hard-Right Leave Campaign’s LIES!
The cowardly, hypocritical May will literally never be forgiven for ignoring us – The 48% – because even though some Hard-Right elements predictably claim that we actually garnered fewer votes than the vicious Leavers – a typical piece of pedantic neoliberal mathematical sophistry there, friends – we are actually the Majority, when it comes to such things as wisdom, knowledge, tolerance, kindness, modesty and, above all, self-awareness.
Vicious Hard-Right Tory Brexit is literally the last thing that this so-called country needs, friends! But let us not despair! Our High Court, Our House Of Lords, Our Bank Of England, Our Bankers, Our 1%, Our Lord Mandelson, Our Tony Blair, and indeed many other progressive elements, are literally with us all the way, in our quest to save this so-called country – which Thatcher totally destroyed – from a fate literally worse than death!
What do we want, friends? An end to any kind of Brexit, whether literally Soft or Hard!
When do we want it, friends? NOW! – and preferably a lot sooner than that!
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