And what a fantastic day it has been for those of us on the Progressive Left, friends! Jeremy’s stunning victory in today’s vote of confidence by the Hard-Right Parliamentary Labour Party has obviously taken the Far-Right Murdoch-controlled Monopoly Media, e.g. the BBC, by surprise, friends!
His 40-vote victory, together with the encouraging news that the number of resignations from the Shadow Cabinet today is down in to single figures, should surely mark an end to all the back-biting and back-stabbing by various trouble-makers and Far-Right elements, e.g. most of his former Shadow Cabinet.
Special vote, friends!
All that remains to be done, friends, is for a special vote of the entire Labour Party membership to be held, so that the 250,000 odd people who gave Jeremy’s his overwhelming mandate last September, have an opportunity to reaffirm their utter faith and confidence in him!
I cannot tell you how happy this news makes me, friends! It almost makes up for last week’s tragic Referendum result, when a tiny and totally unrepresentative handful of 17,410,742 Far-Right racists saw fit to vote for Hate against Hope, although fortunately it now looks as though this bigoted decision can be reversed by the mass power of working people, i.e. Our Petition, with its many, many signatures from all over the world, and indeed elsewhere.
Celebration time, friends!
Well, it’s celebration time for Jeremy and me tonight, friends – two tins of baked beans for me! [Greedy sod. – J.C. Really, Jeremy, that’s remarkably curmudgeonly of you, considering everything I’ve done to help you secure your Great Victory today! – L. Oh yeah, right – like changing your masthead to “SupportOurLefty” – thought I wouldn’t notice that? – J.C. Oh Jeremy! That was merely a simple typesetting error, caused by anxieties over Brexit. – L. Pull the other one, Lefty, I know you’re after my job. – J.C. Honestly, Jeremy! Nothing could be further from my mind, although now you come to mention it … – L. See what I’m up against, readers? – J.C. Friends! Take no notice of our little spat! Jeremy’s just a bit tired and overwrought tonight. – L.]
Let us sing, friends!
And finally, friends, let us sing together in celebration of Jeremy’s triumphant triumph today! (Organ, Emily!) All together now, friends: