Well, today’s Blog is a rather unusual one, friends. As you can see, I am appealing [That’s a questionable claim, to put it mildly, Lefty! – J.C. Jeremy, I am growing more than a little weary of your literally cheap jokes at my expense! – L. Ah, but your Blog wouldn’t be the same without them, would it now, Lefty! – J.C. No comment! – L.] to you all for your
money support to keep this Blog literally afloat, as it is literally in mortal peril from various threats to its very existence, which are so obvious that I hardly need spell them out, so I won’t. [Oh go on, Lefty – I could do with a laugh! – J.C. Very well, Jeremy, although I must literally beg you to stop interrupting me. Anyone would think that you were trying to literally muscle in on this Blog! – L. No comment! – J.C.]
Literally deadly threats, friends!
Yes, friends, this Blog’s very existence is literally threatened by the following literally deadly threats, viz:
- This totally unelected Tory Government, headed by that notoriously Far-Right Bullingdon Bully Boy, the widely-hated May, who is literally worse than that Hard-Right
National SocialistNazi, Hitler, who, whatever else can be said against him, at least never attempted to literally destroy Britain – which, never let it forgotten, friends, Thatcher totally destroyed – by dint of Far-Right Tory Austerity and Hard-Right Brexit. Which brings me on, neatly enough, to:
- Totally illegal Hard-Right Brexit, which is literally the biggest threat to Britain – and indeed the world, and elsewhere – since the aforementioned Hitler burned down the Reichstag, which of course could never happen today, thanks to Our EU’s very strict Health and Safety Regulations which – belittled and mocked by Hard-Right elements as they are – would have strictly forbidden such a dangerous act from being carried out in the first place.
- Accelerating and literally deadly Hard-Right Climate Change, which is literally the most terrifying threat to this Earth – and there is only one Earth, friends, apart from all the others – since the widely-hated Reagan literally started World War III, as all those of us on the Progressive Left repeatedly warned that he would do (who says that Progressive Left predictions never come true, eh friends?), with his reckless warmongering and threats against
Our USSRRussia in the 1980s.
- Trump. Need I say more? [Please don’t, Lefty! – J.C. Very well, Jeremy, if you insist! – L. I do. – J.C.]
So, how can you become SupportOurLefty Members? And what are the benefits of become a SOL Member? I can hear you all ask. [Voices in your head again eh, Lefty! You really are a case! – J.C. Oh Jeremy, just shut up! – L.]
There are many benefits from you becoming SOL Members, friends! First,
I will become a lot richer you will know that you are literally helping to promote the Progressive Left cause, which I know is as dear to your hearts as it is to mine.
Secondly, friends, if you become a Member, you will literally be able to read this Blog for free [Hang on, Lefty – isn’t it free to read anyway? – J.C. If you’ll just let me finish my sentence, Jeremy, all will become literally clear! – L.], without feeling guilty that you are literally reading this Blog without literally paying so much as a single penny for the vast amount of work that goes in to it, which has made this Blog literally the envy of the world, and indeed elsewhere. [Ha! – J.C.]
Mass debates, friends!
And, friends, as a SOL Member you will be able to literally engage in mass debates [I’d rephrase that if I were you, Lefty! – J.C. But, Jeremy, you are not me! And in any case, we on the Progressive Left are notorious for our mass-debating abilities! – L. No comment! – J.C.] with all the Leading Thinkers of the Progressive Left, i.e. me. And lots of other exciting things, which I’ll tell you all about, once you’ve
sent me the dosh become a SOL Member.
Best way to donate, friends!
The best way, friends, is to send your donations directly to me, in cash. That way, the hated Hard-Right Tax Authorities will not be able to literally steal any portion of it, in order that the Far-Right Bullingdon Bully Boy May can then viciously waste it all on Hard-Right Tory Austerity, e.g. the totally unnecessary so-called Trident, which is very definitely not the envy of the world, or indeed elsewhere, unlike Our NHS, which Thatcher totally destroyed.
Please send your donations – no matter how large – to:
The Fund for Distressed Lefty Gentlefolk SupportOurLefty Membership,
Thank you, friends!
Let us sing together, friends!
And finally [Phew! – J.C.] I am pleased to announce that, as a way of thanking you all for literally helping to keep this Blog alive with your kind donations, I have re-assembled my Band, who are going to play a number celebrating something that is very dear to
my Hard-Right neoliberals’ hearts!
Me: Synthesiser, Lead Vocals
Jeremy: Lead Guitar, Backing Vocals
John: Little Read Book! No – only joking, John! Bass Guitar, Backing Vocals
Diane: Organ, backing vocals
Paul (Mason): Drums and Percussion.
Readers: Please feel free to sing along, friends! All together now:
Money, get away
Get a Zero-Hours Contract on poverty pay and you’re not O.K.
Money, it literally must be smashed
Vicious Tories grab that cash with both hands and make a stash
No tax paid by the 1%, Banksters’ dream,
Think this song’s literally running out of steam
Money, get back
Neoliberals are all right, Jack, keep the taxman off their stack.
Money, it’s a hit
Don’t give me all that Hard-Right neoliberal bullshit
Jeremy’s sitting on the floor of the vicious Virgin Rail travelling trainset
And must reshuffle the Red Tory Treacherous Shadow Cabinet
Money, it’s a Far-Right crime
Share it fairly but don’t take a slice of my pie
Money, so we on the Progressive Left say
Is the root of all evil today
But if we ask for a pay rise it’s no surprise that the Banksters are giving none away