And I am pleased to bring you – literally hot off the press! – my latest piece in the Far-Right Guardian, in which I fully support Our Zoe’s passionate defence of Our Gary against the viciously Fascistic “Daily Heil”, as one of the comments in reply to my piece wittily calls it. Must admit, I feel slightly ashamed I didn’t think of that particular name for it, friends! But it is Monday, when some of us actually have to go to work; although naturally that doesn’t include me, fortunately.
Anyway, without further ado, here it is. As ever, I have provided a link to the original article and my comment, together with replies to it, below my piece.
Then the Daily Mail came for Gary Lineker, and we said: ‘Enough!’ – Zoe Williams
Well said, Zoe.
As you imply, this vicious attack by the literally Fascist Daily Fail on Our Gary – who, after all, is quite unable to answer back – is reminiscent of Hitler at his very worst; and indeed quite possibly worse. After all, even Hitler did not stoop so low as to attack sports television presenters, even ones with views that were reasonably progressive, like Gary’s. I guess it must be all the vulnerable refugee children that Gary is looking after in his own home that makes the Fascist Daily Fail so angry, since as we all know, they have a visceral hatred for vulnerable refugees, matched only by their vile contempt for those who, like Gary, are generous enough to take care of them.
But let us be of good cheer, friends! As we all know, the Fascist Daily Fail is the most widely-despised and hated so-called newspaper in the world, and indeed elsewhere! Thank God literally nobody reads that Far-Right racist rag any more, apart from a few million bigoted people who’ve been totally brainwashed by its predictable LIES!
One thing does puzzle me, however. Given that the Fascist Fail – so-called because it’s literally Fascist, as well as literally failing – is so hated, how has it managed to keep going? Some people have even alleged that it has a bigger circulation than the (admittedly, Far-Right) Guardian. This is surely not possible, or at any rate, shouldn’t be.
But here’s a comforting thought. Those few remaining readers of the Fascist Fail are doubtless mainly comprised of that tiny handful of 17,410,742 Hard-Right bigoted racists who viciously voted against Our EU last June, and who – let it never be forgotten, friends – represent absolutely nobody but themselves.
And the good news is that, according to figures I have recently obtained from a highly respected and objective expert on demographics, i.e. myself, most of these 17,410,742 Fascists are – in addition to possessing no academic qualifications worth speaking of, along with a remarkably blinkered and hateful view of their fellow human beings – actually very old indeed. Indeed, figures I have just made up show that at least half of them have died since June 23rd, and the rest should, with a little help from Our NHS, be gone before this year is out.
Which means, friends, that the Fascist Fail will – literally – pass away with them! And a Second Referendum on Our EU (who says we on the Progressive Left “are against Referendums” eh? Not when it’s a Second Referendum, we’re not!) should be a – literally – walkover for the Remain Camp!
So, friends, stay strong! Fascism, racism and just about every other kind of ism, are shortly to be consigned in to the Far-Right dustbin of history, along with the narrow-minded hatred, bigotry and above all sheer small-minded nastiness that is as prevalent amongst the Right as it is absent amongst those of us on the Progressive Left, whose tolerance, good grace, unfailing humour and sense of perspective are as notable as our self-awareness, lack of projection and, above all, modesty.