My Piece In The Far-Right Guardian About Why Those Of Us On The Progressive Left Must Support Our Michael Heseltine Who, Despite A Few Minor Mistakes In The Distant Past, Is – Literally – Completely Correct About The Disastrous Consequences Of Hard-Right Brexit, Friends!

Hello, friends.

And I’m pleased to say that my good friend Saveed Miliband [Hang on, Lefty – your headline says it’s your piece. J.C. Oh Jeremy! Don’t let’s get bogged down by neoliberal pedantry! At this rate, you’ll be telling me that the Far-Right neoliberal racist Red Tory Traitor Owen Jones and the Hard-Right racist neoliberal Red Tory Traitor Owen Smith are different people!L. No comment!J.C.] has written a piece in today’s Far-Right Guardian which gives a very fair appraisal of the formerly widely-hated sociopathic Fascist neoliberal Heseltine, now Our Michael, thanks to his very wise and shrewd support for Our EU.

As ever, a link is provided to the original article and my comment, together with replies to it, below the piece.

Michael Heseltine says Brexit is ‘man-sized’ task for Theresa May

Friends! For those of us on the Progressive Left, the question of what line to take on the viciously Far-Right, militaristic, Fascist millionaire Heseltine, presents us with something of a dilemma.

On the one hand, the widely-hated Heseltine was notorious, in the mid-1970s, for grabbing the Mace in the House of Commons, and viciously spraying it all over the Chamber, causing many Labour MPs to be violently ill, who then had to be rushed to hospital, resulting in the vote on the Shipbuilding (Nationalisation) Bill being lost [Hang on, Saveed – are you quite sure about this? Must admit, that’s not my exact recollection!J.C. Oh Jeremy! It’s all there on the internet, if you look hard enough! S.].

Then, friends, let us fast-forward just a few years on to the 1980s, when the hated Heseltine was the hardline, anti-Our USSR, so-called Defence Minister, who viciously attacked Our Greenham Common Peace Women using Far-Right Cruise Missiles, all of which was subsequently hushed up by MI5 under direct orders of the Fascist Thatcher.

Another decade on, in the 1990s, Heseltine was Deputy Prime Minister under some grey-haired, totally useless Prime Minister, whose name I temporarily forget, but who was a major [Groan! J.C.] disaster. Amongst his crimes, he literally closed all the coal-mines, which Thatcher had destroyed 10 years previously, just as Our Arthur had correctly predicted she would do, and none of which can ever be reopened, due to all the Climate Change that this would cause.

Be fair, friends!

But, friends, we on the Progressive Left are literally nothing if not fair! And it has to be conceded that, at least on the matter of Our EU, Michael Heseltine has been absolutely correct.

He, after all, is the man who has been wise enough to predict that Britain will eventually join the Euro, which clearly indicates a highly rational man who possesses forecasting abilities that few other people can match.

And therefore, friends, when Michael predicts that Brexit will be a disaster, we on the Progressive Left should – literally – sit up and take notice. (He is clearly a man after our own wallets hearts, friends!)

In conclusion, friends, let those of us on the Progressive Left – and there are still quite a few of us, despite the recent tragic passing of Our Fidel, the People’s Dictator – ignore the minor transgressions that may have been committed by Our Michael in the very distant past, and welcome him aboard our new Progressive, pro-EU alliance, along with Our Gina, Our Judges, Our House of Lords, and numerous other Progressive elements which have – literally – helped to give the Progressive Left the kind of reputation and standing that it has today.


11 thoughts on “My Piece In The Far-Right Guardian About Why Those Of Us On The Progressive Left Must Support Our Michael Heseltine Who, Despite A Few Minor Mistakes In The Distant Past, Is – Literally – Completely Correct About The Disastrous Consequences Of Hard-Right Brexit, Friends!

  1. Singer. The texts of your endless vicious hard right smears directed at our Lefty have been passed to higher authority viz the legendary and perfectly progressive Derek Pufflet Bootmaker to the working classes ( miner’s 50% discount available).
    In the interests of what remains of a fraternal spirit we must inform you that Derek Pufflet although a fair man, is considered by his friends to be as fierce in defence of true progressiveness as Robesierre was in defence of pure revolution in France.
    We cannot allow your insults to continue especially as the growth of the neo Bolshevik movement in the valleys is at a critical juncture.
    You have heard that the hard right media is complaining about Russian hackers and fake news . When we, the Russian neo Bolshevik collective together with our British progressive friends have a firm bridgehead in the valleys we shall replace their fake news with our reality and they will know the wrath of the smeared progressive.
    Take this as a fraternal warning and cease this smearing of our Lefty and our Jeremy .

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Can I attach myself-indeed, can I second and register my consent-to all that the Merthyr Delegate above?
    Being a lefty, I pride myself on never having had much by way of brain-and crave leadership and to follow the Leader. More comfortable and conforming.
    Wir Sind Alles Merthyr Tydfil today, meines Freunds.
    Yes SOP is our Leader-but can I formally put on record my willingness to knit scarves and send food parcels to the Merthyr Nation, should our Beloved Leader choose to throw himself under a bus, should any revisionist or counter-revolutionary tendencies ever emerge from his Good Office. So far-purification supreme-but , as we`ve seen with Nye Bevan…you can become a Tory fop who works at MacFisheries if you don`t stand up for your principles.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Chairman’s Leg,
    such bluster, such piffle. A taste of what’s coming

    [Scene direction 738: distant view, camera pointed up at tall bridge surmounted by fantastic bridge singer (rampant), hurling dead cow at feeble bolshies beneath, sound of coconuts clopping]
    With dulcimer tones “I fart at your threats.”
    [Scene direction 739: close up of petite Demitri, crying, shod only with left shoe]
    Scream from stage left “retreat!!”
    [Scene direction 740: pan to craven drooling Letfly]
    Oh it’s coming along nicely

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You simply will not learn. “petite Demitri” is as gross an insult as your smears on Lefty.
      Little Dimitri ( 4ft 6 inches of progressiveness unlike anything ever seen on this or any other planet) has seen your post and has determind to avenge himself upon all rightists like you.
      What have you done? Unleashed the real fury of a progressive that is what.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Do you feel the seismic shocks caused by the fearful knocking of my fur-clad knees? No? That’s because I’m really struggling not to fall from my bridge from mirthful shaking. Don’t let the Diminutive Dunce Dimitri near me, I might not be able to contain my happiness that another quasi-bolshette has tempted a Singer fate.

        Hail Jeremy, down with those sycophants around him who are not worthy for him to rest his bicycle against.

        What have you done with Ron and his limbless statue? I fear for his sanity. He is definitely not in Stoke, the pubs report no sightings of him or of his bronze masterwork.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Fraternal Greetings Brother and Friend Lefty.

    Having been locked on this page for what appears to be weeks, I have but two questions:

    ● How did I get here?
    ● How do I get out?

    Truly this is the Mies van der Rohe of websites; less is moar!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Friend Cat! How good it is to see you here! And you’ve (unintentionally, no doubt) reminded me that I read your excellent piece in a certain Hard-Right Blog yesterday, and was intending to make a comment when words – literally – failed me. (I shall endeavour to make amends today.)

      I do apologise for the fact that you have got trapped here in this Blog. This is also the fate that has tragically befallen the Far-Right Singer Beneath Bridges, along with a few other people whose names temporarily elude me.

      Getting out of this Blog is a protracted and tortuous operation. For one thing, anyone attempting to escape is immediately confronted with my small administrative Leaving Charge (£50,000). They also require a Parliamentary vote to allow them to activate Article 50,000 which permits people to depart – and even if this goes ahead, there is always the possibility of Our Gina contesting this in Our Supreme Court, along with Our House Of Lords adding “reasoned amendments” to protect EU nationals who are taking up permanent residence here.

      Plus, anyone leaving this Blog is likely to end up with a very – literally – raw deal indeed, because as we all know, it is quite impossible for anyone to read or write Blogs without Our EU’s permission.

      So, Friend Cat, on balance, if I were you, I wouldn’t even – literally – try.


  5. Friend Cat! What a tragic situation you find yourself in. You are either here or you are not. I wouldn’t look, you could be gone in a puff of relativistic smoke, but perhaps that’s your goal. Throw the dice.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Singer this is Dave here. I am appalled at your unprogressive ways . Ron was in Stoke but has left for the Merthyr pie shop . He is on foot carrying the headless, armless and legless statue of our Jeremy ( how it got to this state I have no idea ) on what he calls a true neo Bolshevik pilgrimage by way of Hereford and Brecon ( the pie shop is on the Brecon road as you recall.
      I am infused with socialist progressive fervour largely as a result of continual socialist beatings from Igor and lectures from Derek Pufflet on every other Wednesday when he is not out selling his left boots. I am learning to drive the true socialist way that is in a Wartburg of some vintage,
      The dumpster is here and is being transformed into a shrine to the heroes of 1917. Painted red with stars and sickles and hammers and scenes of crushed boss class scum.
      Despite the hard right media lies about the Russians taking over everything in the USA and here and in our beloved EU I can assure you that it is literally true but in a neo Bolshevik way that will lead our Jeremy to realise that his future lies only in true Bolshevism as is yours but your are too hard right to understand yet.
      Lots of road kill here you will be pleased to learn and the local sheep keep finding themselves part of our wonderful socialist pies.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Dave. Ah the Wartburg! Known in the West as the warthog from its stately progress. The East German vehicle named after a castle (odd that for a socialist dream object) with a minimum of moving parts (does a lawn mower engine have more?) I would no more allow such a pile of crapola across my bridges than join your miserable bolshi crew. Our Jeremy will never succumb to your threats masquerading as blandishments.

    No doubt you are claiming a socialist victory for the red-clad and daffodil-sporting titans over the greenies last night?

    Liked by 1 person

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