And I’m pleased to say that my good friend Saveed Miliband [Hang on, Lefty – your headline says it’s your piece. – J.C. Oh Jeremy! Don’t let’s get bogged down by neoliberal pedantry! At this rate, you’ll be telling me that the Far-Right neoliberal racist Red Tory Traitor Owen Jones and the Hard-Right racist neoliberal Red Tory Traitor Owen Smith are different people! – L. No comment! – J.C.] has written a piece in today’s Far-Right Guardian which gives a very fair appraisal of the formerly widely-hated sociopathic Fascist neoliberal Heseltine, now Our Michael, thanks to his very wise and shrewd support for Our EU.
As ever, a link is provided to the original article and my comment, together with replies to it, below the piece.
Michael Heseltine says Brexit is ‘man-sized’ task for Theresa May
Friends! For those of us on the Progressive Left, the question of what line to take on the viciously Far-Right, militaristic, Fascist millionaire Heseltine, presents us with something of a dilemma.
On the one hand, the widely-hated Heseltine was notorious, in the mid-1970s, for grabbing the Mace in the House of Commons, and viciously spraying it all over the Chamber, causing many Labour MPs to be violently ill, who then had to be rushed to hospital, resulting in the vote on the Shipbuilding (Nationalisation) Bill being lost [Hang on, Saveed – are you quite sure about this? Must admit, that’s not my exact recollection! – J.C. Oh Jeremy! It’s all there on the internet, if you look hard enough! – S.].
Then, friends, let us fast-forward just a few years on to the 1980s, when the hated Heseltine was the hardline, anti-Our USSR, so-called Defence Minister, who viciously attacked Our Greenham Common Peace Women using Far-Right Cruise Missiles, all of which was subsequently hushed up by MI5 under direct orders of the Fascist Thatcher.
Another decade on, in the 1990s, Heseltine was Deputy Prime Minister under some grey-haired, totally useless Prime Minister, whose name I temporarily forget, but who was a major [Groan! – J.C.] disaster. Amongst his crimes, he literally closed all the coal-mines, which Thatcher had destroyed 10 years previously, just as Our Arthur had correctly predicted she would do, and none of which can ever be reopened, due to all the Climate Change that this would cause.
Be fair, friends!
But, friends, we on the Progressive Left are literally nothing if not fair! And it has to be conceded that, at least on the matter of Our EU, Michael Heseltine has been absolutely correct.
He, after all, is the man who has been wise enough to predict that Britain will eventually join the Euro, which clearly indicates a highly rational man who possesses forecasting abilities that few other people can match.
And therefore, friends, when Michael predicts that Brexit will be a disaster, we on the Progressive Left should – literally – sit up and take notice. (He is clearly a man after our own
wallets hearts, friends!)
In conclusion, friends, let those of us on the Progressive Left – and there are still quite a few of us, despite the recent tragic passing of Our Fidel, the People’s Dictator – ignore the minor transgressions that may have been committed by Our Michael in the very distant past, and welcome him aboard our new Progressive, pro-EU alliance, along with Our Gina, Our Judges, Our House of Lords, and numerous other Progressive elements which have – literally – helped to give the Progressive Left the kind of reputation and standing that it has today.