And my piece in today’s Far-Right Guardian is in response to a very wise and thoughtful article by Felicity Croake, who has written the sort of piece that has given that Hard-Right rag the kind of reputation for literally penetrating analysis that it has today.
I couldn’t help but notice that Felicity did not touch on the subject of dogs’ – nor indeed, cats’ – political affiliations in her piece, which is why I was literally compelled to cover this literally vital aspect of their characters.
As ever, a link is provided to the original article and my comment, together with any replies to it, below the piece.
Dogs aren’t just man’s best friend – they’re man’s least honest friend
Well said, Felicity.
For literally years, I have been pointing out that so-called “dogs” are nothing more than the running-dogs [Groan! – J.C.] of Far-Right, racist, neoliberal elements, who cannot be trusted (the dogs, I mean, friends. We surely already know that Far-Right, racist, neoliberal elements cannot be trusted).
Furthermore, friends, dogs are remarkably unenlightened creatures who seem to have remarkable difficulty in understanding even the simplest economic/political concepts, such as the fact that – as proved conclusively the other day by Will Hutton in these pages – Hard-Right Brexit is going to be easily as disastrous for the British economy as was Britain’s failure to join the Euro a decade and a half or so ago, as was also pointed out by Mr Hutton at the time.
Even widely-known and widely-understood objective facts – e.g. the total failure of the Far-Right neoliberal paradigm, and its literally indissoluble relationship with the breakdown of neo endogenous growth theory, which has now dissolved utterly – seem to be beyond the comprehension of these poor, dim-witted creatures, who in some ways seem to be almost as badly educated as Brexit voters, although the latter are more prone to utter Hate Speech than our canine companions, who fortunately seem to be more immune to the LIES of the literally Fascist Daily Fail, whose fervent support for Hitler as recently as in the 1930s will never be forgotten by those of us on the Progressive Left.
And therefore, Guardian readers who are expecting dogs to provide them with stimulating, original and Progressive views are liable to be disappointed. So would a cat be a better alternative, I can hear you all ask [Voices in your head again, Saveed! You really need help! – J.C. Oh Jeremy, kindly button your lip! I am growing more than a little weary of your literally cheap remarks! – S.].
Alas, friends, I have to tell you that, for those of us with a Progressive bent, so-called cats are even worse than dogs! My Hard-Right cat, for instance, is a remarkably selfish creature, who absolutely refuses to accompany me on my frequent Mass Marches against the totally unelected Trump and Hard-Right Tory Brexit. He wasn’t even prepared to accompany me on my International Women’s Day March last week, preferring instead to lie around in my flat in a semi-comatose state for most of the day, waking only briefly to munch his way through the tin of lightly-cooked Kangachunks that I had caringly prepared for him that evening. He seems to be remarkably uninterested in the – literally – burning topics of the age, e.g. the riots in Sweden – another of the Far-Right Trump’s LIES, friends, and which in any case were all the fault of the notoriously Hard-Right Swedes – and I have a nasty feeling that, were he to be given the vote, he would be more likely to vote for Hate (Tory/UKIP) rather than Hope (Labour/Green).
And therefore, in conclusion, friends, I would not recommend either dogs or cats as steady and reliable political allies. Unfortunately, the same can also be said about so-called human beings too, given their recent track record in (1) re-electing this totally unelected Tory Government less than two years ago, (2) voting for Brexit, even though they literally didn’t know what they were voting for; and (3) perhaps worst of all, voting for the widely-hated Trump, who was so unpopular, literally nobody actually voted for him.
And then, after all this, friends, Hard-Right elements actually dare to ask why those of us on the Progressive Left are – literally – revolting!